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Humor, what if this happened to you?

Posted on: April 13, 2008 - 4:56pm

Brian37

Posts: 16463

Joined: 2006-02-14

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Humor, what if this happened to you?

So my mom has a dog. I have a cat that I recently got.

Late last year my mom's dog developed a skin rash. I took it to the vet and the vet said that it had a YEAST INFECTION! (NO NO NO NO, IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK) It is a common skin infection in animals, UNRELATED TO that region of a human female.

OK IT GETS WORSE! So I adopt a cat from a local charity, I notice that it's eyes are puffy and the people there tell me to give him some eye medicine. Later on I take him to the vet and they speculate that the cat has HERPIES!

(THE VET CLEARLY STATED THAT IT CAME FROM OTHER CATS AND COULD NOT BE TRANSFERED TO HUMANS)

Now to put the icing on the cake today, I notice a gecko on the back porch railing. It notices me and climbs TOWARDS ME. It was so tiny I thought it would run away. BUT, it climbed to me, looked at me and did push ups(not litterally) but it's own body gesture to signify some sort of communication.

It then as it was rearing up, dropped a flap of skin from under it's jaw as if to "puff up". With some stances and animals, that is a warning to "stay away". But, with it's multi colors, it can also be like a peacock, trying to attract a female.

WHY DO I HAVE THIS ROTTEN LUCK?

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK ...............I LOVE ANIMALS.....(I MEAN!!!!!....YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!)

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog

Posted on: April 13, 2008 - 5:13pm #1

Watcher

Posts: 2326

Joined: 2007-07-10

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Yeah, we've got those little

Yeah, we've got those little suckers all over the place here. I keep forgetting what they are called. I saw two of them acting like that and I wondered if they were going to mate. Instead they just fought.

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci

Posted on: April 13, 2008 - 5:49pm #2

Strafio

Posts: 1346

Joined: 2006-09-11

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Lol!!Well you clearly have

Lol!!

Well you clearly have some kind of talent when it comes to animal attraction.
Do you have a similar effect on the homo-sapien population?

Posted on: April 13, 2008 - 6:03pm #3

albedo_00

Posts: 153

Joined: 2008-01-19

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Don't tell that story around

Don't tell that story around PETA nuts, they would throw blood on you just to be safe!

I guess every pet owner has his/her own cooties tale. Fenrir (my dog) was totally infested with fleas when we first got him, imagine the poor little puppy, fighting off a whole body itch.

That being said, damn man, yours really tops almost all stories I've ever heard.

Lenore, The Cute Little Dead Girl. Twice as good as Jesus.

Posted on: April 13, 2008 - 6:22pm #4

Brian37

Posts: 16463

Joined: 2006-02-14

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Strafio wrote:Lol!!Well you

Strafio wrote:

Lol!!
Well you clearly have some kind of talent when it comes to animal attraction.
Do you have a similar effect on the homo-sapien population?

Yea, in fact ancient Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses contacts me through a Ouija board and asks me for advice. Which would explain all the death threats from Steve Erwin!

CRIKEY!

Posted on: April 13, 2008 - 6:42pm #5

Brian37

Posts: 16463

Joined: 2006-02-14

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Strafio wrote:Lol!!Well you

Strafio wrote:

Lol!!
Well you clearly have some kind of talent when it comes to animal attraction.
Do you have a similar effect on the homo-sapien population?

If you call me the "Beast Master" I will have you drawn and quartered and tarred and feathered!

Posted on: April 13, 2008 - 11:46pm #6

dead_again

Posts: 321

Joined: 2007-05-13

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I thought my dog had given

I thought my dog had given me scabies (AKA the mange) a few months ago, as that is what the doctor diagnosed me with. I itched violently and it wasnt stopping, so he basically prescribed me 2 tubes of prescription bug poison. After enduring the incredible stinging of this stuff twice, without it subsiding, I went back to the doctor only to find out it was pityriasis rosea. Turns out the dog only had a bad flea infestation.

Your god's silence speaks loud and clear

Posted on: April 14, 2008 - 4:17pm #7

Kevin R Brown

Posts: 3142

Joined: 2007-06-24

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Watcher wrote:Yeah, we've

Watcher wrote:

Yeah, we've got those little suckers all over the place here. I keep forgetting what they are called. I saw two of them acting like that and I wondered if they were going to mate. Instead they just fought.

That's effin' sweet.

Quote:

"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940

Posted on: April 14, 2008 - 4:26pm #8

The Doomed Soul

Posts: 2148

Joined: 2007-08-31

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This topic has given me

This topic has given me knowledge i never needed nor wanted... so im returning it.... what? fuck you! of course i dont have a receipt!

Seriouly... take all memory of cat herpies and some bitches yeast infection from my brain... now!

What Would Kharn Do?