The Ooga Booga Monster or What Does This Remind You of?
Offline I want to reveal the truth to you all about the Ooga Booga Monster. The Ooga Booga Monster (or OBM from now on to save time) lives in the orbit between Saturn and Uranus (the planet, not "your anus" you sick fucks. ) He does not need to breath and can eat anything. He screams "Ooga Booga" every few minutes - if you were within 500 miles of him you could hear - the normal laws of physics don't apply to his miraculous voice - it can be heard even through vacuum - it does not rely on the movement of molecules to produce sound. You can't prove this false. One day he will come down and eat everyone on Earth who disbelieves in him - and all the believers will live on a paradise Earth with anything they want to eat and drink and as many attractive members of whatever sex they are attracted to to be with. How can you be so arrogant to deny the OBM? Why do you hate OogaBoogans so much as to say he is false? Why do you hate the OBM? Do you really want to miss out on all that food booze and sex and spend eternity being shit out?
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I deny the existence of the OBM for the same reasons I deny the existence of all previous ooga booga monsters like yahweh, allah and thor. Seems pretty simple Matt, thanks for the new deity to not believe in.
"Always seek out the truth, but avoid at all costs those that claim to have found it" ANONYMOUS
I think I might use that example in future, and here's why.
I'll say: The Ooga Booga monster et.c., and finally: how can you be so arrogant as to deny the OBM?
The Theist will respond: Well that's just silly, and it doesn't apply to the Bible, because YOU just made that up, were as I got it from someone else, who wrote it in the Bible.
And I'll say: well no, because I didn't make it up, it was revealed to someone else who told me, so it has as much validity as the bible (or as little)
Well I was born an original sinner
I was spawned from original sin
And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
Does this mean that the Ooga Booga Monster is an official member of the RRS Super Friends Pantheon? I've lost track of any additions to the list. The last I have it, (with the OBM,) is:
Part 1: Assorted Creators
A. Jake
B. The Invisible Pink Unicorn
C. Russel's Teapot
D. The Flying Spaghetti Monster
E. Rufus, the Lactose Intolerant Teddy Bear
F. The Almighty Purple Snarfwidget who can fart a full-sized Lamborghini out
his ass, and is completely unrelated to Giant Purple Spotted Snorkelwackers.
G. He/She/It/They-who-may-or-may-not-be-Kelhain who claims either to be or
not to be the Supreme Being.
H. Santa (special thanks to "Weird Al" Yankovic, for proving that Santa belongs
on this list.)
I. The Great Gawkersnot in the Sky
J. Joe Pesci (from George Carlin's jokes; but wouldn't this also mean that the
the Sun is also included?)
K. Raptor Jesus (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Raptorjesus)
L. Google (http: //www.thechurchofgoogle.org/)
Part 2: Creatures of unutterable evil
A. Elsie, the Borden milk cow
B. Stephen Colbert (but only to the various bear gods & prophets)
C. The Purple Oyster of Doom
(D. The Ooga Booga Monster?)
Part 3: Prophets and Revered Ones
A. Billy, the Nesquick Bunny (Prophet of Rufus, the Lactose Intolerant
Teddy Bear)
B. The Bible Bear
C. The Sudanese Teddy Bear Named Mohammed
(D. Theo Van Gogh, anyone?)
Part 4: Terminology
A. Twatwaffle
B. Asshat
C. Fundies (Bet you can't refute just one!)
D. CBUHM = Chocolate Be Upon His Milk
Did I miss anything?
Conor
The OBM is not evil. By the way, your place on paradise Earth can be made better by pleasing him every time you yell "Ooga Booga." Yelling it in public pleases him even more.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Wanna play? All right.
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
He obviously didn't have enough faith.
Have the men in white jackets come out yet ??
My $0.02: Oh...yes...of course...how silly of me. I guess it just seemed that way from the apocalyptic "eat all the disbelievers" bit. I keep forgetting that that sort of thing is standard operating procedure among Assorted Creators (Jake excepted, of course.) Why, the OBM is obviously no more evil than the god of the bible.
Oh...wait...
Conor
Of course being eaten and totally destroyed is way less evil than being tortured forever - and as he is barrelling toward Earth many people will see him and start believing, thus earning a place in paradise (Unlike the Bible God who once there is evidence there's no more chance.) Plus the OBM doesn't have stupid rukles like Christianity. He's not as benevolent as the FSM but still way better than the vast majority of gods who have been worhipped throughout history.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
What about the juju at the bottom of the sea? I forget, is it benevolent or not?
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.