Hi mommy. Just some thoughts. I can't really relate, probably because my life long atheism was not until the past few yrs really vocal. People would ask do believe in god and Jesus, and I'd reply "of course, love is the answer", not really getting into the details.

Since I have become a vocal atheist, I do more explaining of what my atheism means to me, and my devoted xain friends still like me.  I think my trick is that I say that I'm cool with god and Jesus, but I disagree with your views and definitions on these important words and ideas. I work at being friendly and funny about their religion ideas in person. 

I really do play it up, and all the more with my churchy friends. Heck, and if they do get serious on me , I say "my atheist Jesus loves us more". All the god and jesus talk I encounter I try to spin into nice non serious humor. I don't appease their beliefs but I will often say I understand how you feel , and I also want a better world.

My RRS rants and live style are a bit different.  I often yell when I write, but live I do more laughing and asking of questions. I try to mix them nuts up. I will say, "yeah God and Jesus are cool, thing is they are atheists .... you funny religious people are the ones that are confused ..... I might say "Jesus and god would never approve of that bible the way it ended up."   I think my trick is I don't scoff at Jesus and god ....

I had fun writing this mess .... hope it might be of some help.

Good luck silly mommy.  When ya can, keep that smile glowing .... thanks for being atheist ....

And some serious advise from gramps, obey the children and don't drink to much rum. 

 

 

I kinda like some of the xmas songs, but I don't miss wasting half a Sunday morning in the old geezer's meeting hall (aka baptist church) for one Thor damned moment.

I'd have to say, as a former Texas Roman Catholic, I miss the church suppers. Namely, I miss the tamales and enchiladas some of the parishioners made only for the church suppers.

As someone who grew up in a country where this could never really become an issue, I may not be the best person to give advise. But even so, as a social and outgoing person I think it's important to have many friends and aquintances, and not feel isolated in your own community. If you are anything like that, I think you should try and have some co-mingling with your religious friends and family. If you have allready made it clear how you feel about the truth-value of religion, then I think you can take a cue from I Am God As You in his post (yet another wise, compasionate and lucid entry there IAGAY, good on you! You have this poster's respect and affection sir.)

Friendliness, humour, and disarming smiles go a long way in my experience, and just remember to stick to your own convictions, and then I think you will find that you can get along just fine with many people, even if you do disagree with them on some important issues.

Most people are mainly concerned with having fun, loving and being loved and feeling secure among good friends. And most of this can be done (indeed is usually done) without religion at the forefront. I'm sure your family loves your child (son?), I mean they can't help doing so. I know I love my nieces and nephews, regardless of what their parents believe (not that any of my silblings believe something other than me, but I still believe I would love them regardless.)

Imagine this situation:

You are visiting your father and mother to let them see their grandchild.

If your father stands there holding him/her and, smiling, says something like: "Isn't he/she a little miracle?" or "Thank God for him/her"

Is that really a problem? It's just their way of expressing their love. Within their world view that means something powerful, so it's not really that bad.

And if you find that your friends and family try to lure you back into something (which I suppose they might) then just remember what you believe, and you'll be allright. If they become too aggresive ( "Isn't he/she a little miracle, don't you think? Don't you think you should thank God for him?" for the umpteenth time) then take the discussion with them again. Tell them what you believe, and why you believe it, and why you think it's important. Remember there's always a argument to counter the always rather narrow religious emotional arguments.

To the above this argument comes to mind immideately: "Every child is a miracle to their own family. Don't you think muslim grandparents in Iran, Catholic grandparents in Nigeria, and Atheist grandparents in Denmark look at their newborn grandchildren with the same sparkle in their eyes that I see there in yours?"

Disarming their arguments with something emotionally positive, that you believe in (like the almost universal affection among humans that share genes), goes a long way. They can hardly deny it, and it shows that God is irrelavant in this context at least. He doesn't have anything to do with a grandparent's love for their grandchild.

Ofcourse, the above scenario may be completely moot. I don't know wether you see your parents allready, or wether you want to at all, but I hope my hypothetical still holds. I hope you know what I mean. Social interaction is about the being in the moment, and about sharing mutual interests and affections. I'm sure you still have alot you can find in common with your religious friends and family, so if you can nuture those things, and stear clear of the thing you don't, then maybe you can still have alot of good times with your old friends.

If they don't want to have anything to do with you, that is of course a different matter, but if you are kind and loving, and open towards them, and they still shun you, then they are not good people, and then you should count yourself lucky that they are not your friends.

Hope this helps a little. Re-read IAGAY's entry, and see what you make of it.

*Edit* Looking at Hampy's post above makes me feel like my entry here is rather naive. He has experience with being a formerly religious, now atheist person in America.

I don't know how excluding your mormon family and friends are, but if they are too judgemental, it will bring you more frustration than happiness to try and get them to accept you. But I still think that friendliness and openess is the way to go. No need to try and convert them to atheism. Let them be them, and then just insist that they pay you the same courtesy: to let you be you. Maybe it's possible. You know that better than I do, because you know them, and know what to expect.

I miss the social events (like camps) with kids of my age, mostly children of religional parents. Local evangelic crew (or other Christians around) handles a lot of organization of children's activity and they're keeping an indoctrination to quite pleasant minimum. Not that it would be ideal, but surely much better than in Jesus Camp.
One more distant but a bit known neighbour (a classmate of my mother) is strongly religional and he made his two sons to quit a plans for electrotechnic high school and to enter a theologic training. They will know how to scare people from a pulpit. Well, that's creepy, but fascinating. I think that it's more interesting, than meeting my own former alcoholic classmates (former classmates, not former alcoholics) but they're already all gone and dispersed. (you know, women, work, travelling, pubs) I've burned all bridges, I've got to relocate, somewhere where are still people to whom I have anything to say. Let a beer flows, let a hookah bubbles, let a discussion take place IRL.
 

Suddenly so many things make more sense to me.

 

 

   It is easiest if you live in a larger city.  There are meet up groups in almost every city of any size.  You can always advertise in a local paper, but remember to be careful of fundie attacks there.  I have wondered how to disguise myself and still have a ring of truth to an ad in the paper.

That's wonderful! Just like I would try to speak. I see, the goal is a love-based religion. It's interesting to remind a Christian about one small detail, that Jesus did many great miracles to heal and help people, but never, not even once he opened a ground and let someone fall into a flames of Hell.
 

 

You have us now, use this board to make new and genuine friends and don't succumb to the pangs of separation anxiety that most religions try to foster.

If only some of you lived nearby me, or vice-versa, then there wouldn’t be an issue. Then we could all hang out together by the pool and complain about religious people and their lame gatherings! J

I kinda like some of the xmas songs, but I don't miss wasting half a Sunday morning in the old geezer's meeting hall (aka baptist church) for one Thor damned moment.

I loved singing the songs because I used to sound so damn good belting them out every Sunday. I still do, but now I just sing them to my kid! *lol* And I hated church too. My mom would always try to guilt trip me into going. What a great job that did, mom! It was the activities outside of Sunday that were fun.

This is a place where you can let your hair down so to speak, vent if you wish, you might even get a response. Hopefully you will hear back from people who are genuinely interested in what you have to say. But all that aside WELCOME.

That is actually the nice things about atheists more that theists: atheists actually take time out of our day to respond, even if it just an idea or kind word. Theists have a tendency to be more self-centered. Ironic, right?

I'd have to say, as a former Texas Roman Catholic, I miss the church suppers. Namely, I miss the tamales and enchiladas some of the parishioners made only for the church suppers.

As a former Mormon, those activities always involved food. With my natural cooking skill, I was a God to those people. Then again, they weren’t polytheistic, so maybe they had trouble who to worship: me or their daddy in the sky.

I was primarily raised Southern Baptist, so I was happy to be rid of that community. They really are an ignorant and boring bunch of people. (I'm not just saying that. Southern Baptists have the lowest rate of college attendance and high school graduation of any of the major denominations.) The complete prohibition of alcohol was another pisser. Honestly, there's nothing I miss about sitting at a table with six kinds of green bean casserole on my plate listening to men talk about tractors or how neat it is that God gave one of them the wisdom to fix his car on the fly even though he "don't know nothin bout them computers they're puttin in the cars nowadays."

While I find all of this very hilarious, unfortunately it’s a sad truth. Mormons, for some reasons, either are more statistically educated or hide their ignorance very well. I still can’t figure out which it is yet. Although my Family Guy sense of humor always went right over their heads, and no one dared talk about “taboo” topics. During my time with this religion, I wasn’t of drinking age, so not drinking alcohol was never an issue, but it was hilarious when later I found out all the Barq’s Root Beer that we all drank had caffeine. Score one point for me! *lol*

I don't know how much work you can reasonably expect to put into cultivating a social life, but it would be an uphill battle if you didn't have a child.

I may even have not felt so strongly about religion the way I do now if it weren’t for this small person. Wanting to give him the best and teach him that making a choice that leads you to be part of a minority doesn’t make you a bad person. Fighting to allow him the same rights as everyone else when he’s an adult makes the fight worth it.

I don't recall you mentioning where you are from, if it's a larger area your choices are much better than in hick ville like me.

Northern California. Mostly liberal, but you get conservative in the smaller parts. Which is my dilemma. Eventually we’ll move, either to Massachusetts or Washington. Until we have the money to do so, we’re stuck!

I can honestly say that there is nothing I miss about any of the churches I have attended. I went to a service a few years ago while my wife was still alive to appease her and her parents but it just reinforced my views of organized religion. I can see why some desire that type of social interaction, but there are better more constructive ways to socialize. I enjoy working with Habitat for Humanity and meeting new people there more than any church setting.