Just an example of why science beats Religion.
Offline So my friend Cassie invited me to go to a little worship session with her last Wednesday. I had nothing better to do so I figured I would go because I'd hang out with her before/after and it'd be worth the torture of the sermon and hey the sermon is always good for a laugh! So the pastor stands up and he starts talking to the crowd. He says who do you think was the smartest person who ever lived? Most of you probably have answers like Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison. Well I'm here to tell you that Jesus was the smartest man that ever lived. I mean Jesus was so smart that he took the base element of life, water, and turned it into wine!!!
At this point I was just rolling in my chair with laughter. First off the base element of life is Carbon . . . and secondly water is a molecule. Jesus may have been smart but his followers sure aren't. FAIL!
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cant be to smart if you get tortured for days and end up displayed on a cross >.>
...
cant be to smart of a god if you end up DEAD
What Would Kharn Do?
Maybe the pastor is an alcoholic?
Anyway, wish they'd get their story straight.
I thought it was supposed to be all about blind faith, not intelligence.
Shows the priorities of the guys who wrote the story. You can just picture the evangelical scribe up in his loft, stylus in hand, tongue protruding between gritted teeth, as he stares at the blank parchment before him and racks his brains in an effort to come up with a "miracle" that will at once demonstrate that the hero of the story is magic and convince a load of gentiles of the fact.
He brought world peace? Nah - no gentile would buy that, and anyway, he obviously fucking didn't. He cured all disease? Nah - we'll stick with the odd leper story. Much easier to swallow and harder to prove fake. What we need is a miracle that's really wild, but one gentiles will buy into however flaky it is. Now, what is it that gentiles love doing? Come to think of it - we all love doing! That's it! I've got it!
And so our fevered little evangelist begins inscribing the miracle of the Orgy of Cana, when the lube ran out.
... And so it was that Mary, hearing the distressed "ooh ah" noises of the chafed guests, pleaded with her son to do something to help them. At first Jesus was reticent, saying that his time had not yet come and anyway, a little pain during sex is character building (a view later adopted as policy by the catholic church). But Mary insisted - her turn on the symbian was nearly due - and so Jesus turned to the bordello steward. "Bring me six amphora of yoghurt" he said, and the man soon returned with what Jesus ordered. "Here," said Jesus then to the guests. "Use this. It's also slippy and get this, it will cure your thrush too." At which there was much rejoicing, and slurpy noises, and all agreed that this young man with the long tongue surely was the son of god - or at least handy to have at an orgy.
Our scribe duly hands the completed manuscript to his editor who, aware of the Immorailty in Publishing Act of Nomus Sexus Plius, sets to work revamping the story into the version we all know and giggle at today.
I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
"....REASON is the greatest enemy that faith has; it never comes to the aid of religious things, but more frequaintly then not struggles against the devine word, treating with contempt all that emanates from god."
"....whoever wants to be a christian should tear the eyes out of his REASON."
"....REASON should be destroyed in all Christians."
All quotes by Martin Luther that erudite anti-semetic founder of Lutherianism. So he would know about reason, sense and decency. He just had no use for it.
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Seriously, this is by far the best method of convincing theists that their beliefs are ridiculous
People who think there is something they refer to as god don't ask enough questions.
I think so. It's really entertaining to go to a church and listen in on some of the feces these people pour from their mouths. The best part is after you laugh at everything said and are on your way to leave people still thank you for coming. ^^