Vicar in Hospital With Potato Stuck up Ass
Posted on: November 16, 2008 - 11:08am
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Vicar in Hospital With Potato Stuck up Ass
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Another nude curtain hanging stretches a rectum. When are people going to awaken to the dangers of nude curtain hanging?
"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray
It's a sad state of affairs when a Vicar in her majesty's Church can't afford a proper butt plug or set of anal beads. Maybe we should take the Dan Savage route and organize a used sex toys donation drive for the COE.
"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell
Hahaha!
That man has the lying abilities of a 6 year old. He might as well had told the nurses he was kidnapped and the potato shoved up his bum...
Slowly building a blog at ~
http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/
I was laughing picturing him explaining this to the doctors and nurses and them being like "yeah right. " I guessing he'll be the butt of many jokes now. Sorry.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
When I was in the ER shortly after passing my first kidney stone, a patient in the room next to me had an object lodged in their rectum... my doctor made the comment to me that "Once you pass the sphincter, the ass is just a giant vacuum." Well I was laughing so hard I forgot about the pain. While I never knew who the person was, looking back on it, just that fact that I knew what was going on in there was inappropriate.
We also talked about a doctor at that specific hospital who came in with an object in their rectum... I believe it was a vibrator and IIRC he had to wait until the battery died before surgery to remove it. I made the comment that if it was me the battery would have been died during the long drive crossing state lines before showing my face in an ER. Or maybe it was the doctor with the glass coke bottle and the neighboring patient with the vibrator... it's been a while.
In that article, the nurse is quoted as saying:
Um, excuse me... talking to a reporter about the vicars vacuum ass is not discreet or professional.
Would we still be laughing if he wasn't a vicar? Maybe we wouldn't be reading about it on this forum, but I think we'd still laugh. Which is strange because I'd rather see a vicar with a vegetable garden than a kindergarten class, so to speak.
I started the post with examples of how I'm guilty of LMAO here too to illustrate the point that we all do it. However, I'm not sure we should laugh about this stuff...
I mean it's the laughter and shame that discourages people from getting medical attention in these scenarios. I mean he could get an infection or something...
Kinky sex isn't a matter of shame, and accidents happen - especially if you are too embarrassed to get proper sex toys. The Vicar didn't have to explain anything, his answer to the situation only had to be "I'm sorry, but the context of this accident isn't any of your business."
It's also sad how sexual standards make this newsworthy. ERs have folks in similar situations almost nightly. Yes he was a Vicar, but they're allowed to have sex, aren't they? What makes anyone think a little sexual play isn't just as good for them as it is for lay-folk (no pun intended).
It's all so silly.
"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray
Even if he had to improvise, couldn't he have found something better than a fucking potato? I think they can have sex, but not sure if the COE is anti-gay or anti-sex-outside marriage or anti-sex toy. Still, couldn't he order something over the internet and hide it where visitors won't see?
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
What did he lube his butthole up before he fell? The likelihood of a russet potato (assuming it was that kind, as they are very common) not only entering the ass, but being completely swallowed by the ass simply from falling backwards WITHOUT LUBRICATION is extremely unlikely.
Your god's silence speaks loud and clear
Ironically he probably didn't get a proper butt plug because he feared his appearance in the local sex shop would be spotted by a reporter.
BTW - Awesome answer Jill! I'm glad to hear we are all laughing at the lie and the hypocrisy rather than his kinky sex practices.
"Lays potato chips" isn't on his grocery list, it's a personal quality of his!
I'm Wolf Blitzer, in the Situation Room. A picture is worth a thousand words. Vicar shoves potato up his ass and local doctors remove it. Altar boys witness to this French Fry blasphemy say that they were at least relieved that he got tired of them.
Idaho's Governor reacts by calling for state legislature to ban the Vicar from the state, "Our potatos are of the highest standards and we are horrified that our spuds were subject to such horrific molestation."
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
At least his name wasn't printed in the Newspaper! I first heard this on the Non-Prophets podcast. Surpised it wasn't all over the internet since it happened over 2 weeks ago.I had to search to find a link. I found 2 really funny comments people posted about it elsewhere:
"Did that make it a dick-tater?"
"What a pain in the ass!"
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Yeah, it kinda reminds me of that 30-something virgin who came into the ER with a corn-dogging incident... I believe he told the nurse something about surfing the forums in the nude when his cat knocked a pencil off the desk.
kidding... totally kidding.
It was on our mailing list but it came and went un-commented.
As a reformed Catholic..I'm just glad it was going up their arse for once...it freaking hurt...bastards.
I found a few more details online... apparently it was more the size of a baking potato
seems like nurse trudi likes to talk... remind me to avoid that hospital.
Not sure if there's much tourism in Sheffield, England. The one about the guy shoving a carnation up his dickhole made me cringe.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Why, what kind of things do you get up to?
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
Censored and blacked out for internet access in ANZ!
AU: http://nocleanfeed.com/ | NZ: http://nzblackout.org/
Well I keep a bastard sheep plush toy next to the bed...
Am I the only one who thinks this story sounds like a Monty Python or Benny Hill sketch?
Nurse: "What seems to be your problem. "
Vicar "I got a potato stuck in me bum. "
Nurse "How'd that happen?"
Vicar "I was hanging my curtains and fell on it? "
Nurse "Why were you hanging them naked and why was your bum lubed up while you were doing it? "
Vicar "Never mind, just get this bloody potato out of my bum! "
Doctor "Ok , whats the problem"
Nurse "He shoved a potato up his bum and it got stuck. "
Vicar "I DID NOT! I fell on it while hanging curtains! "
Doctor "Yes, we have had a rash of cases or clergymen getting things stuck in their bum while carrying out tasks naked. You really should be wearing trousers when you do housework. "
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
He shoved it up his ass, his dick is in the front, but then again "ass-tater" doesn't have the same punch as "dick-tater". Someone should have bought him an "Anal Intruder", but I guess the collection plates weren't filling up enough for him to afford one.
"Anal Intruder", anyone wanna guess what comidey movie that is from?
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Well the "dick-tater" could be a reference to he was using it as a substitute for a dick.
OK, I would just like to point out that most people hang curtains in windows. Generally to block sunlight from coming in.
So for his story to be true, he had to be intentionally dangling the meat and two vegetables where anyone walking past could see them. Clearly a sane and reasonable course of action for the man who is supposed to set an example of behavior for the rest of the community. Which makes me wonder just what passes for sin in that town (and would I enjoy it?).
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I thought of that too - and kitchens are nearly always on the 1st floor in a house. So he either purposely shoved the potato up his ass or he's an exhibitionist.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team