How to Make Those Pesky Fundamentalists Leave You Alone
Posted on: May 15, 2009 - 11:22pm
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How to Make Those Pesky Fundamentalists Leave You Alone
Next time you can get a fundamentalist to swear to you that he believes every word of the bible to be 100% inerrant, and every command of God to be absolute law, hit him with Luke 6:30.
The Bible wrote:
Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back.
Read that to them, then ask them for all the money they have on them.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
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Signature ? How ?
Hamby, bullying them for thier lunch money is schoolyard stuff. If you want to be a real asshole, then once you have them on the hook, demand their clothing. Let them keep their undies if they want to but make them go back to the church starkers. Then they have to account to pastor for that one.
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Tried it. It works !!
Still, he looked so sad and confused I felt sorry for him, so I gave it all back.
Sorry dad, the kitty made me do it.
After taking the money, thank them for assuring you a place in hell.
1). Proceed to inform them you are going to use it for gas money to go collect sticks on Sunday, while drinking and taking the lords name in vein.
2). Tell them you will be back every Friday until they change their mind.
3). Profit!
"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence." - Bertrand Russell
Stewie: Yay and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Issak", and Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."
You forgot the ??? .
How can you have profit without the ??? ?
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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The apologists for not living up to this standard would argue that Jesus is engaged in hyperbole. In another passage Jesus tells his followers to gouge their eye out if it causes them to sin(i.e. looking at a woman lustfully). They argue that he didn't preach self-mutilation. The reason is that the sermon on the mount moral standard is not for this world but the next. They also argue that their property belongs to the Lord and unless he tells them give you the property, they should keep it to use for his glory.
Some of Catholic monks do try to live up to this standard. They just don't have anything to give, all their property belongs to (i.e. the church) how convenient.
But the point is that Christians don't really believe. What I do is say since you believe God can cure people, let's get some proof. Let's go to a cancer clinic and pray for half the patients at random without them knowing. If the patients that are prayed for get cured at a higher rate than the control group, this would eventually prove your claim is correct.
But they don't take me up on the offer. They claim God wants me to believe and they want me to believe. But they won't do this simple experiment . I just say this proves you don't even believe. They are speechless.
The bible also says true followers with pickup deadly snakes and drink deadly poison. Maybe the really obnoxious one's should be told to join this church:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObhvOeNCKhs
Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen
Dammit, I ruined something again, didn't I?
"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence." - Bertrand Russell
Stewie: Yay and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Issak", and Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."
I wouldn't say ruined. It's easily remedied.
See? It's not hopeless.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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I'll let it stand as is, for educational material.
That's very sagely of you.