Rudolph The Coke Nosed Reindeer
Offline Rehashing an old classic, a former friend and I came up with back in the late 80s. Neither he or I did cocaine nor would I advocate it. Just take this as a Mad TV or South Park spoof.
Rudolph the coke nosed reindeer
Had a very bloody nose
His cartilage disintegrated
From snorting all the blow
All of the other reindeer
Stole poor Rudolph's stash
Snorted all of the blow
And threw the Zip Lock in the trash
Then one feem'n winter's eve
Rudolph need a fix
He shouted "Where the hell's my fucking coke"
So they gave him a baking soda mix
Rudolph started to snort it
Not knowing what it was
Then he tried to go out flying
Without his usual buzz
That damned sleigh
Started loosing altitude
Santa exclaimed "What the fuck
That was rather rude"
All of the other reindeer
Were impaled upon a tree
And Rudolph adamantly shouted
"NEVER FUCK WITH ME"
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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Looks like someone's been getting into the Christmas spirits.
Which seems like a good idea.
...is by "Weird Al" Yankovic:
CHRISTMAS AT GROUND ZERO
It's Christmas at ground zero,
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringin'
And the carolers are singin'
While the air-raid siren blares
It's Christmas at ground zero,
The button has been pressed
The radio
Just let us know
That this is not a test
Ev'rywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last-minute shoppin'
It's time to face your final destiny
It's Christmas at ground zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris
While we trim the tree
Underneath a mushroom cloud
You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost, on your windowsill
But, if someone's climbin' down your chimney,
You'd better load your gun, and shoot to kill
It's Christmas at ground zero,
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you, and see all the new
Mutations on New Year's Day
It's Christmas at ground zero,
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover, with my Yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe
It's Christmas at ground zero,
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke,
We're gonna get nuked,
On this jolly holiday.
What a crazy fluke,
We're gonna get nuked,
On this jolly holiday!
Conor
... that was pretty good!
Your friend did most of the work, didnt he?
JINGLE BELLS BATMAN SMELLS
... that was pretty good!"
Me: Glad you enjoyed it. It can be found on Weird Al's second Greatest Hits collection. Apparently, someone at the record label wanted Al to record a Christmas song, and this was the result. (Be careful what you wish for!)
The Doomed Soul also wrote: "Your friend did most of the work, didnt he?"
Me: I'm not sure what you mean, here, Doomy. I would love to be able to claim Weird Al as a close, personal friend...but it just ain't so. Anyway, he wrote the song from start to finish; all I did was post the lyrics.
Conor
"JINGLE BELLS BATMAN SMELLS"
Me: Oh, come on, Captain...if you're going to post the words, post all of them:
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile broke it's wheel,
And the Joker got away--hey!
Jingle Bells, Robin smells
Batman's gone away
It'll be a merry Christmas, 'cause
The Joker's here to stay!
Conor
Its all rather simple, i wasnt talking to you, i was talking to Brian, whos quote mysteriously vanished from my post... i blame the Net Gremlins
What Would Kharn Do?