Teenaged atheist
Offline Hey guys my name is Joe and I figured I could have some fun on this forum and maybe learn a few things. I'm 14 years old and I am an atheist. I live in a Christian fundamentalist household where my beliefs are not respected and rather spat upon. As Pat Condell said I cannot simply opt out, I am actively fending off. I have to go to church 3 times/week and If I do not my parents will ship me off to Jesus Camp (They have done it before). Reason, logic, and critique are not valued over blind faith and indoctrination. I'm very happy to have freed myself from this delusion. It took me many months and I cannot imagine if I grew up to share the same beliefs as my parents. There are similar to the folks at Westboro Baptist Church, but not quite as bad. I'm home schooled and its a very Christian curriculum. I have no say in the matter as my parents have convinced themselves I'm under a demonic influence. My life is hard but in a few more years I will go away to college (Which I will most likely have to pay for myself as my parent wouldn't support a non-Christian college), until then I'll just have to endure. That's me, hopefully I can contribute to this community.
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That really sucks that you are stuck in that situation. But please understand that it wont always be like this and always know that you DO have support here and in the atheist community. Do not make things rougher on yourself though. You still need a roof over your head and food on the table. You don't have to act out or rebel against them, nor should you.
Your best bet is to educate yourself outside their Christian indoctrination, keep your grades up and keep your nose clean. You don't have to lie to them, but you also shouldn't fight them. If you cant discuss it with them, then dont. What is important is that you get through this and know that you will be old enough one day to do things on your own.
Hang in there.
Even without the issue of religion, getting along with one's family is hard for many. I myself was sensitive and my adoptive parents were raised with "men are men and boys dont cry". On top of that my dad was a marine and both my mother and father were teachers. Far to often they took my questioning why they were telling me to do something as an act of defiance when I was merely asking for clarification. I love my parents, I know they were trying to do the best for me with what they were raised with, even if they didn't understand they could have handled me better.
I was also skinny and a dork and got beat up lots in school and picking on me was easy.
HOWEVER, I grew up and especially after going to college, I realized finally that other people's hangups did not have to be mine and I didn't have to let them get into my head.
I think you in a lot of ways have it better than I did, not the religion thing, but the maturity of realizing that there is nothing wrong with being different. YOU don't have to be them, but you do have to get along with them and do what they say until you are legally free to do things on your own.
But again, please know that you are not alone and keep your nose clean and we are here when you want to talk.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Think of this as an opportunity... Make observations, Take notes, and start writing... You have the makings of a terrific book...
I don't want to trivialize your circumstance, which is both dire and abusive,,, but I am not sure what you can do beyond waiting for your time, which will come. In the meantime...utilize these forums ...there are a lot of incredibly bright people here...and it can help you shape how you articulate this experience.
Good luck young man...
www.RichWoodsBlog.com
Welcome, Joe! Sorry to hear about your situation. Stick it out, you'll eventually get through it. In the mean time, you can safely let off some steam here.
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i second that. i would definitely buy a copy.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
Just want to add a note of support. It's obvious your parents love you, but the fact that that love comes with "strings" is so sad and unfortunate. And it's too bad that they can't see it that way.
I have a son your age, and it pains me to think of him being coerced and stifled like that.
Things WILL get better, but unfortunately it will never become truly easy. Your relationship with your parents will likely ALWAYS be strained because of this, if indeed you manage to maintain a relationship at all. But perhaps you're setting a good foundation for some modicum of tolerance now. We can only hope!
Welcome!
Feel free to use this forum as your little getaway.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
Yeah - it's tough but the fact you're still whole in the face of that stuff reflects well on you. There's no feeling quite like loving close family members you know think you deserve to be burnt in a fire. Chuckle - don't worry. You can get them back when they're in the nursing home by playing satanic metal music and hiding the remote control.
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
Hehe your username makes me smile. Pillowpants. Hehe.
I'm sorry you're surrounded by people who can't appreciate your ability to think for yourself. But I think that most of us here definitely appreciate it! And even if you have to pay for your own college, it's a great place to meet new people who also value knowledge and reason.
hey man. i can honestly say that the best thing you can do is ride it out. my dad threatened to kick me out of the house on more than one occasion because i would do very naughty things... like using pages from the bible to get fires started in the fireplace.
my dad always thought that i wasn't old enough to fully understand religion. in a way, he was right, because i just don't get how people can accept bullshit like women made from ribs, talking snakes, and a 6,000 year old universe. keep your head down and remember that when you turn 18 it wont matter any more. after i joined the army, my dad got off my case because he had never served and i'm guessing that, in his mind, the army makes me a "better american." badass.
if you want, i'll buy you a beer in hell. that is, of course, if you die AFTER you turn 21. talk later.
"I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God." -George Bush, Sr.
Hello Joe and welcome.
Judging by the way you just expressed yourself I'd say you are a very bright young man.It must be quite difficult for you, I wish you the best of luck.I didn't get the chance to interact with home schooled Christian children until about two years ago.The kids were for the most part normal children wanting to have fun but Mother didn't like letting them watch television and when they did watch a movie it couldn't be anything that contained magical references, so naturally Harry Potter was out of the question.They never socialize with non-Christian children and their Mother would read the bible to them at night as bedtime stories.What really made me feel nauseous was the day I had a conversation with the eldest child about her science teachings, she told me that one day carnivorous creatures such as lions would eat grass.
All forms of tampering with human beings, getting at them, shaping them against their will to your own pattern, all thought control and conditioning is, therefore, a denial of that in men which makes them men and their values ultimate.
Isaiah Berlin
Welcome!
You're almost free of it at least. I'd simply recommend you start planning your move now, so when you can move you'll be able to. Another 3 or 4 years and you can get as far away as possible and tell them to not bother calling.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
My parents found out I used Bible pages to roll joints... man were they pissed. They were more pissed about me using the bible then they were about the joints! =)
Regarding home schooled kids. When I tell my mother I'm lonely and want to socialize she tells me to go to the home school meetings. The kids share no interests with me whatsoever. They love talking about there daily bible class and about Christian Lord or the Rings knock off books. Not fun people to hang out with.
I think pot should be legal, but first off, you are only 14, what you think you should be entitled to do and what is actually on the law books are two different things. Beer is legal, but that doesn't mean a 14 year old should be drinking. Pot is illegal and if you get caught you are breaking the law.
Don't make excuses for bad choices. If someone wants to change the speed limit laws on a particular highway or road, the way to do it is to work within law making to change the laws. I hate it when I hear that someone gets a ticket for speeding they say, "Why did I get a ticket, everyone else was speeding along with me". I follow that up with, "Is speeding illegal?" They of course are force to say yes. Then I ask them if they were speeding and again, they say yes. So why do they get shocked when they get a ticket?
Do yourself a favor, stay away from the pot. Things are bad enough that your parents seem to be off the deep end on the religious issue and if you get caught the law wont care if your parents are fundies or liberals, you are going to get in trouble.
I was a teenager once and did a lot of stupid shit and if I had gotten caught I would have deserved it. You are only going to make things worse trying to "rebel" or "be different". It is ok to be different, it is not ok to break the law. If you need therapy to deal with your problems, pot only buries them, just like booze. Self medicating wont make your problems go away.
Keep your nose clean and when you are 18 THEN you can do what you want. Keep yourself focused on educating yourself and stay out of trouble.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
I haven't smoked in 3 months, I just smoke if I'm with my brother of cousin, which is not very often. I just thought it was a little humorous parents like mine were more pissed about burning Bible pages than they were about weed.
Ok, but the way your OP makes it sound you already have enough problems living with people whom don't understand you. I wouldn't make things worse by giving them more reason. There is nothing wrong at all with being a dork and keeping your nose clean. Even as an adult I have some friends and co workers AS adults that think drinking and driving is ok because they always use the excuse "I've got it under control". Yet I am the one who calls a cab or gets a ride and haven't had a ticket or an accident.
If others think it is fun to jump off a cliff does that mean you should? Being yourself does not have to involve getting yourself in trouble. You have enough problems with your family just being a puppy kicking cootie spreading atheist.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
brian, this is the second time i'm aware of that you've lectured a minor on this site. is this going to be a habit?
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
hey man, biblical lectures can only take you so far.
Hi Joe and welcome to the forums. I'm also an atheist living with a Christian family, and I was home schooled for a couple years in primary school. Although I must say my family don't sounds quite as bad as yours.
Firstly congratulations on the rational thinking, and also on the wonderful respect for correct spelling and grammar that you seem to have. Neither of these things are common enough amongst teenagers
My advice is to try to avoid confrontations with your parents. I'm not saying you shoudl pretend to be a Christian or anything, just try to show your parents that you respect them, and don't go out of your way to piss them off. As annoying it must be, you still need parents in your life.
That reminds me of a joke:
In Sunday school there are children and pastor gives them riddles.
Pastor: "Bobby, tell me what it is, it's red, small, furry, climbs trees and eats nuts."
Bobby: "Well, Father, I know it's God, but it really seems to me like a squirrel."
Btw, you're not the only one here who tried pot in their 14's
I've seen shitheads who got addicted (or how do you want to call getting high every day) but it probably depends on your personal nature. Some people are so high by themselves, that they intoxicate the pot, not otherwise. Every addiction is a form of slavery, there's no need to restrict your freedom even more.
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
Hey Pillow pants
This is one of these times when someones misfortune reminds one of how lucky they are. I dont want to seem insensitive but I was lucky I guess, the most religous education I got was my mum saying she believed in "something" when I asked about God and going to church like twice a year for a couple of years, which I barely remember, even when my brother died we had a Humanist service for him , without God. Essentially my family had a freedom of belief and I did belive in "something" for a while when I was young, my parents never ridiculed me or questioned it, they just let me grow out of it I guess.
However, this as I said might seem insensitive and hard for you to relate too as I cant relate to your situation or really give you advice as to what to do, well I could but it would seem a bit extreme and if you really are only 14 then I dont want to be putting those sort of ideas into your head. However one thing I do know about is drugs, I am a reformed addict / alcoholic and I had smoked my first joint by the time I was 8 years old, I kid you not.
I come originally from a slum in Glasgow UK and it wasnt until I managed to stop abusing drugs or drinking that I could get on with my life.
All I am trying to say here is that using any substance because you have problems or pressure will not resolve those problems only postpone it, and you might find a few more there when you sober up, dont give your parents any more ammunition than you need to. I dont think they have your best interests at heart you need to be strong to survive. I am sure you will make it but everything you do has consequences remember this.
Dont let the bastards get you down.
Peace.
Welcome!
As others have said, the best thing you can do is keep your nose clean, obey your parents and stick it out. Don't burn any bridges and when you graduate from High School go to a good secular college or join the military or something.
I was raised as a fundamentalist as well, and it can be tough, but usually your parents really do love you...the thought of atheism is terrifying to them, and they don't have the tools to express that fear.
Good luck, and use forums like this to let off some of that frustration.
Don't use pages from the Bible to roll joints, that is just being disrespectful (although funny).
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.
Wow dude that's hard... well for me I'm 13... I started hated god when I was 6~! or was it 4?... well never mind that...
I have question for you...
how does it feel to go to church?
how do you avoid it?
does you friends know it???
if you don't like to answer it okay...
Call me shan! (not real name) my real name sucks!
Long live the Philippines w/ all the catholic or whatever!
man I wish I was never born in a religious country!
ATHEIST HERE NOT AGNOSTIC!!!
Shan I'm not entirely sure your an atheist. I think you may be a little confused about what you believe. Atheism isn't about hating god. Atheism comes from a rejection of theism. I was a product of my parents for a while until one day out of pure chance I stumbled upon the website evilbible.com, I had never read any atheist material at all or seen any videos. I pretty much de converted on the spot, like many atheists suspect, I was in fact detoured around all of the nasty stuff in the Bible.
Now to answer your questions.
Church sometimes feels like a mild inconvience, other times I feel ashamed that I have to support anything that causes so many problems in the world and sometimes that teaches immoral things.
I go 3x a week because I don't want to be shipped of somewhere worse. But sometimes I pretend to have the shits so I don't have to go on Wednesdays, or a headache or something.
I have 2 friends, one of which is kind of a douche bag, the other of which never answers his phone. Both of them know I am an atheist. One of them is also an atheist and the other is a theist and retreats behind Pascal's Wager when questioned, but he's not zealot at all so I don't really care if he wants to believe in God.
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
I also have 2 friends that know I'm a atheist, but both of them are theist... when I was little that was the time I hated god, when I reach 11 or something I started not to believe and strange thing happened... MY GRADES WENT UP!!! ahaha!!!
Call me shan! (not real name) my real name sucks!
Long live the Philippines w/ all the catholic or whatever!
man I wish I was never born in a religious country!
ATHEIST HERE NOT AGNOSTIC!!!