Welcome Shan!

Sorry to hear about your family situation. That really sucks. I hope you find some support here and an outlet for your frustrations.

I would like to say, though, that family and life difficulties, by themselves, are not really good reasons for atheism. Maybe that's why you became an atheist, so it's not such a bad thing, at least it got you free of religion. But if you don't question and challenge your own beliefs and the reasons you reject other beliefs, you won't have the critical thinking skills necessary to protect yourself from *other* irrational beliefs, and possibly even other religions.

You said your parents leaving you isn't the whole reason you're an atheist. Could you describe what other reasons you have?

Don't worry about spelling/grammar too much if it's not your strong point. What's important are the ideas, not the spelling.

And you don't have to apologize for having problems and disabilities. Nothing wrong with that. I have ADHD which causes lots of problems in my life, too. I just got diagnosed a few months ago, and it is a huge relief to finally know what was contributing to a lot of my life-long difficulties. There is a lot of stigma in the world against mental illness and/or disability, but really the stigma is garbage. We don't look down on people because they have cancer or a broken arm, why should we look down on them for having mental problems?

If your parents left you, where are you living? I don't know what is available in the Philippines, but if you are alone or having difficulties with physical or mental issues, I would recommend seeking whatever help you can find. I hope you are getting the support you need. Also, if you have learning disabilities or other issues that interfere with getting an education, there's nothing wrong with that either, and I would recommend to seek help for those, too. While school can often suck, education is very important, and it would be a mistake to let difficulties and obstacles get in the way of your learning.

Sorry if some of that sounds like I'm 'preaching' at you. I don't mean it that way. I just think it's important to get all the help that's available and take advantage of any opportunity, and I know it's very possible to lose hope in the face of so many problems in life. For example, I wish I had been diagnosed with ADHD much earlier in my life, like when I was around 6. My life would have been a whole lot better if I'd gotten the help I needed at that age. Despite that, I'm still okay with where I am now, but if I can help encourage someone else to seek help when they need it, I would like to do so.

Anyway, nice to meet you, and welcome again!

 Welcome, Shan, To the freethought community, but I'd like to mirror what the others said.  Please tell us more about your personal situation.  So we can help you or direct you to help.  Your parents actually left you?  Are you living with a family member?

That's... disturbingly creepy. Demonic-looking pig says: "Welcome! Have a seat. Here, have some of this delicious wine. I made it myself. Let yourself relax. That's good. I'll be in the kitchen preparing the meal. I've never had a human for dinner before. I mean, *over* for dinner, of course. Ha ha. Uhh... How's the wine?"

 I'm actually living w/ my aunt, grandfather and some relatives... I do sometimes get the help I need.. I also have ADHD, It kinda sucks... NO... IT TOTALLY SUCKS!!! and oh yea... I'm use to being alone, and physical and mental issues... Lucky for me I was expose to that in a early age, so I really don't mind it at all....

oh yea your question about the not whole reason thing...

It's because my life sucks... when I was in elementary every day I get bullied or scold at... I was even told at the age of 8 I was doing drugs and smoking! WTH!!! try living w/ a relative who thinks that your like your parents~! IT SUCKS! I hated the smell of smoke! and he even blame me for having her daughter lying, going out every weekend and not telling where she was or what she was doing! his daughter was even older than me!!! through my childhood he always said that! that child is going to like her parents! she's going to be a bitch! she'll just use your money to buy drugs!

OH SHUT UP ALREADY!!! in my school(elem) the teachers know my mother... and her problems... so every time I try to talk, they would LOOK DOWN ON ME! some teachers even pitch me! made the look, even if I did nothing... some even gave me a low score cause I was the daughter of the drug user! well at least that ended when I reach grade 4...

 CUTE!!! ahahaha!!! I wonder if it's made of margarin?

Hehe, good one.

Well, Shan, I'm glad you at least have some support, even if it mostly sucks. Keep going. Eventually you'll be able to live on your own and take control of your own life.

If you have been officially diagnosed with ADHD, I hope you're able to get help for it. If you haven't been diagnosed, but you suspect that you might have it, I hope you can get a proper diagnosis. You may be able to find more practical information about what to do here and here. It can be a serious problem, especially later on as you need to take on more responsibility, and school gets harder.

Keep looking for people who are understanding in your school and community. Sometimes they are there and we know them, but we don't realize it.

One last thing. When I was about 9 to about 15, I thought of myself based on what I rejected and hated. If I disliked something, then I disliked *everything about it*. For example, I really disliked American 'Country music', and so I called it "crap" and wanted nothing to do with it, and made fun of people who liked it. And not just country music, but pretty much on any topic, that's how I defined myself. "Well, I don't like *that*. And I absolutely *hate* that guy." Etc.

Looking back, I think that way of thinking was a mistake, and I probably missed out on a lot of things and people that would have been fun or interesting simply because they were loosely associated with something or someone that I hated. Also, constantly thinking negatively like that contributed to me feeling depressed a lot. I still dislike country music in general, but I really like Johnny Cash, and I don't reject people just because they happen to like country. And not thinking negatively all the time keeps me from getting depressed.

So, I don't know if you were joking as part of the story, but when you said "I hate wine... cause every year my uncle sends wine, and I hate him," that's what reminded me to tell you about that. It's like when you said that you hated God because your parents left you and you hated them for that.

Life can be tough, and it's natural for us to feel angry and negative about stuff. Just don't let it ruin your life always thinking like that. It's not worth it. There are good reasons for believing in some things and good reasons for not believing in some things. Just like there's good reasons for doing or not doing things. Find out what the good reasons are. They will serve you better than basing your beliefs and actions on what you love or hate. Sometimes it's a good reason because you love or hate something, but *not always*. Our emotions are not 100% perfect, and in fact can be badly wrong about many things.

Again, I hope that doesn't come across as preachy, and I apologize if it does.

Welcome Shan,

I'm sure that you will find lots of support here.

I've been an atheist all my life too.

If what others are saying about you is bullshit, try not to worry about it (easier said than done).

Have confidence in yourself. If they are full of shit then you are better than them. Try to be a good person and make a good life for yourself.

Learning disabilities don't stop you if you don't let them. Many people have disabitilies and are still successful.

Anyway, "slightly" ADHD is not going to stop you.

You mention the Philipines. Is that where you are? I have friends from there... The catholics seem more messed up there than they are in most countries.