How to Construct a Creationist/Theist Argument in Three Easy Steps
Step One:
Assert without evidence a rule about the physical universe. Present this rule as universal and unbreakable. Examples include, but are not limited to "everything in the universe requires a cause" or "everything that is complex requires a designer."
Step Two:
Assert without evidence a being or principle that is exempt from the universal, unbreakable law you posited in step one. Examples include "therefore, because everything has a cause, something must have caused it that had no cause" or "because everything complex requires a designer, things that aren't complex require a designer, too!"
Step Three:
When the atheist points out the obvious flaw in your reasoning (by breaking your own unbreakable law your argument refutes itself), assume they just don't understand the depth and complexity of your argument. Find a new audience--church groups are a good place to start--to present your arguments to. Remember, you don't need facts, logic, or even to address the objections to your argument if you simply repeat it enough times to audiences who have already accepted your conclusion (and have a deep psychological need for it to be true) before you even began speaking.
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Boobies are good. Except Janet Reno's. They're not so hot. You can't possibly understand the depth of boobies, but I invite you to try with me.
Am I doing it right?
Correction:
"Because everything complex requires a designer, there must be a designer of everything, that itself wasn't designed despite being significantly more 'complex' than everything else!"
I'm God. I can make/unmake the universe as I wish...
edit:I should poiint out that I was a little shitfaced when I wrote this
“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)
Janet Reno does not have boobies. Janet Reno is really Mary Cheney from the future. 40 years from now, she will get a time machine and come back to, umm, well, I am not sure. But bring up pictures of both of them side by side and tell me that they are not the same chick.
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