At times like this I sometimes wish there was a god to help
Posted on: May 26, 2010 - 6:25pm
Offline
At times like this I sometimes wish there was a god to help
I'm 18, and right now I'm scared to pick up the phone and have the words spoken "you have cancer" for me right now, that is a very real possibility. I have a genetic disorder which causes tumors to grow-anywhere. Right now the area in question is my brain. Back in January I had a MRI to check for cancer, something did show up in the brain and my doctor must not have been worried enough to do anything since she had me wait 5 months to get another MRI. I don't know, life's not going too good for me right now. Sometimes I do wish there was a god to wipe away my problems, I'm not about to believe, and in the off chance there is a god, that god is a real prick for putting me through all the shit I've been through.
- Login to post comments
That sucks. What type of cancer? Something you can fight?
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.
It turns out cancer is a really good reason to not believe in Magic Dad. Otherwise, you would have to believe that some ultra-powerful being ... who was an asshole ... was in charge of the whole universe, and gave you cancer on purpose. That whole chain of thought strikes me as silly, because it doesn't address the normal grief, fear, and hope that circle around the disease.
But as much as there can be "support" from people online, I hope you find friendly wishes here, and that they're matched in the real world. If it helps, I've found that "death cultures", like that of the Spartans, or the samurai, have helped me stay level in the face of a serious threat like that. People might even think you're brave (even if that's not exactly what it is).
For a quotable presentation of the Japanese meme: The Hagakure
For all that, of course, I've seen a few people survive multiple bouts with cancer, so you shouldn't read this as a suggestion to "just give up", but rather to fight well, and know that you're respected for it, even when you feel weak.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
I don't know if it is cancer or not, I'm waiting to hear if it is. The kind of cancer it would be if it happens to be cancer is brain cancer. Apparently in the past I've had as many at 7 or 8 tumors in the brain, my mom just told that to me today, I always thought it was only 1 or 2. I'm prepared for the worst, though it could just be nothing. Shit happens I guess.
I can't possibly know what your feeling, but my girlfriend beat cancer when she was young too (about 19 she was diagnosed.) She went thru the hole deal, chemo, radiation, hair loss, tumor removal surgery, and she beat it. So just stay positive, if you caught it fairly early and you are strong you have a good chance. Don't wish or prey, FIGHT!!!
Just know, that this is the best of any possible time for a human to get cancer. My mother and grandmother are both breast cancer survivors and my friend Will is currently dealing with testicular cancer that spread to his brain. It has struck close to me, but I won't be an idiot and tell you I know how you feel. But I can tell you that we all wish you the best, and hope for the best for you of the possible situations. DON'T GIVE UP!
"This may shock you, but not everything in the bible is true." The only true statement ever to be uttered by Jean Chauvinism, sociopathic emotional terrorist.
"A Boss in Heaven is the best excuse for a boss on earth, therefore If God did exist, he would have to be abolished." Mikhail Bakunin
"The means in which you take,
dictate the ends in which you find yourself."
"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme leadership derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!"
No Gods, No Masters!
The Hagakure and the code of bushido overall has helped me through a similar situation I went through. I won't go in to details but it has become a part of my way of life when dealing with other tuff situations as well.
i second that. the hagakure literally changed my life and has probably saved my sanity on more than one occasion. it's not just good for dealing with death, either, but with the possibility of losing anything, no matter how large or important. i can't recommend it enough. seriously, this book should be on the pop self-help and motivational shelves, not bullshit like the secret.
montyfreak, i certainly sympathize with you. i've had an inordinate amount of my father's family die of cancer: my aunt, my uncle, both grandparents, and another uncle now has prostate cancer but the doctors say it's containable. i've pretty well taken it for granted that one day it will get me too, and thanks in huge part to the hagakure, as well as my readings in zen and taoist literature, i'm at peace with that. still, i do intend to give the fucker a serious fight if it comes. my aunt beat breast cancer the first time and lived another 20 years before it returned and got her. in those 20 years she got to see one of her daughters get married. we're all in your corner, dude, so try to be at peace (i know that's trite) but keep fighting. you're young and strong. you can make it.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
If it's carcinoma in situ (non-invasive cancer) you/he can still fight it off!
edit; I omit words from sentences for stupid reasons, sometimes!
“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)
I don't want to scare you, but it looks like there is correlation between cancer occurence and stress. (we had a health lecture at school recently) So if you're all freaked out of cancer, then it may be self-fulfilling. You can't afford being afraid for months, waiting for some tests, that's bad for your health. The good side of that is, if you don't scare yourself over things you can't change, you will be able to change what you can. We all have cancer in our body, only our immunity system destroys it in the moment when it appears. If you're stressed, then your immunity system has a lot harder work to do and sometimes it fails.
Cancer is often triggered by stressful events or feeling like shit. That's specially true for women, their relationships and cancer of female organs.
I'm personally not afraid of cancer. (besides a basic caution) There are some cures never confirmed or even seriously investigated by official science, which I have available and which I place my trust in. Of course I can recommend you my wacky woo cure, but it basically doesn't matter what method will you use. (besides time, money, side effects...) The main thing is, that prevention will protect you best of all.
When my future dad was in his 16's, my grandma died on breast cancer and there was her behavior. Her cancer was as bad, as her emotions. After years of bitching, she got the cancer. She got scared, stopped bitching and going all worked up over stupid things. And she got cured almost miraculously. She was glad, and attributed this cure to Jesus. She was always religious, and now newly cured she started to get her regular preaching 15 minutes of glory in the church, how Jesus cured her. But after these rants she said how she felt a bit worse every time. That didn't stop her from bitching again, well, and long story short, the cancer returned very quickly and killed her.
So remember, being emotionally fucked up is very dangerous, so make sure you and your family aren't. Happy people get less cancer.
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
This might be obvious, but feel free to ignore Luminon. He has nothing to worry about because he has a witch doctor.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
I'm just curious, is there a reason why you wish specifically that there was a god to help you? Is there any reason for you not to wish for a wizard/magic fairy dust/a medical cure/any number of other nonexistent things that could help you instead?
I don't understand why the Christians I meet find it so confusing that I care about the fact that they are wasting huge amounts of time and resources playing with their imaginary friend. Even non-confrontational religion hurts atheists because we live in a society which is constantly wasting resources and rejecting rational thinking.
Damn, that's a bad situation to be in.
The closest I got to a killer disease was acute appendicitis when I was around 20. It came on suddenly, but I was close to a major hospital, operated on and all was well, but I was told after the crisis that it had been potentially serious.
You are faced with the opposite situation, too much time to worry over what might happen, knowing only too well what it might mean.
My father went out in his 60's with complications following on from bowel cancer, at least I had time to say goodbye...
The problem with a God, if he is around, he shows precious little inclination to help anyone, except on some purely arbitrary basis, even if you take any of the claims of 'miracle' interventions seriously.
You are right, if he is there. he is a sadistic prick.
Hang in there....
Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality
"Theology is now little more than a branch of human ignorance. Indeed, it is ignorance with wings." - Sam Harris
The path to Truth lies via careful study of reality, not the dreams of our fallible minds - me
From the sublime to the ridiculous: Science -> Philosophy -> Theology
And I'm not kidding that cancer occurence may be linked to emotionality. That's not out of my head, looks like it's the life practice. I don't know many cancer victims, but some cases are just typical. For example, people who get rectal cancer are usually old and very afraid to die and let go their life.
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)
An attempt to discover Cause-->effect using a pinch of spirituality?
(IIRC, Luminon is a staunch modern medicine skeptic)
It's true that overwhelming anxiety leads to quite a hefty % of all adult mortalities in the modern, developed world. The trick, of course, is to not fear death
(I learned how to do this at age 12!!! 
)
“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)
I understand how the OP feels. Most of my issues are with Christians, not the character of Jesus himself. (Although his father is a jerk.)
But I've asked this to atheists and agnostics before about the bible: Some agree, some disagree, but wouldn't be wonderful if it was true? I think it would be. However, I think it'd be extra good if the bible was actually written the way most people think it is and all that bad stuff was not in there or at least the bad stuff about God. I sometimes wish I could edit the bible to my liking. I think I'd make for a better God then the Christian God. I promise if I was in charge of writing the bible, there'd be a lot more believers.
One of the very first things I'd do is I'd address that homosexuality is NOT a sin and that you are born that way. I'd also say that being a pedophile is the sin and that it's the pedophiles who have to control themselves.
I'd say slavery was evil and a sin.
I'd say men and women are totally equal.
All that stuff in the old testament that talks about killing people and it's okay....yeah, all gone. Bye bye. Infact, I'd say unless someone is actually trying to kill you, murder is a no-no.
I'd add "Honor your children" to the commandments. Meaning, take care of your children. Feed them, provide for them, etc. Don't abuse them, sure as heck don't sexually abuse them and love them with all your heart. My jerk of a father LOVED to tell me whenever we fought when I was growing up how the bible says to honor your parents. That was his favorite rule. He once actually said...."....CAUSE THE BIBLE DOESN'T SAY TO HONOR YOUR CHILDREN! IT SAYS TO HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER!!!!!!"
Ticks me off to this day. I wish I would have said "I don't give a crap what your bible says!". I've pretty much said stuff along those lines in recent years if we debate. I enjoyed seeing his shocked and angry face.
Anyhow, I am getting WAAAAAAYYYYY off topic.
Sorry. But anyhow, yes, wouldn't I be a better God then the Christian God? 
Whenever you meet difficult situations dash forward bravely and joyfully.
- Tsunetomo Yamamoto, Hagakure
I've found inspiration in this and alot of other samurai literature. The Book of Five Rings is also pretty good. I am empowered by the samurai's ability to face death head on without disillusions or fear.
yeah, five rings great. i also enjoyed yagyu munenori's the life-giving sword and takuan soho's the unfettered mind. i especially enjoyed the latter. it's a monk's comparison of zen with bushido, written to a samurai (munenori, if i'm not mistaken). i have all the books we've talked about in nice editions from kodansho translated by william scott wilson. i recommend them because they have really fascinating introductory essays that give a lot of background info and plenty of cool anecdotes. the introduction to the life-giving sword is especially great, as it gives historical anecdotes that were later translated into classic japanese films like the seven samurai.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson