Out of context, how your friends tease you.
Offline This is a "let your hair down" have a laugh thread.
Here is what I am looking for.
We all have had a friend walk in on part of a conversation and then make a sarcastic comment based on only what they heard. Or tease you about the implications of what you are trying to explain to them. Basically having fun with word games.
Ok, here is mine.
My co-workers are vicious (in a friendly fun way) with teasing each other. If you are sensitive I would not recommend the group I work with.
Ok, here goes. This happened a couple years ago.
I took, at the time, both my kitten(at the time) and my mom's dog to the vet both at the same time.
So the vet ends up telling me my adopted kitten(who days before I had picked up from a charity) HAD HERPES.
On top of that they told me the dog had a YEAST INFECTION! In this case "yeast infection" was not even a vagina thing with her, but a skin infection.
NOW mind you, any vet will tell you that these diseases are not transferable between species.
Do you think that mattered to my co-workers? FUCK NO!
To this day there is a running joke that I fuck my pets. This is what I get for opening my mouth.
Do you have any "out of context" jokes that your friends turn south to get a laugh at your expense?
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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You have some twisted friends
On a lesser scale at work I love to take completely innocent words and make them sound dirty.
So a waitress will come in and say, "I need an English muffin"
And I respond with
"English muffin? Will you cut it with the metaphors, we all know what you mean".
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Or you could offer a French tart instead
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
A waitress walks in and asks for French toast.
I respond with "French toast? That's sick"
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Other examples:
A waitress will come in and say, "We are low on gravy"
And I will respond,
"Um, isn't that what your husband is for?"
Or a guy cook will say, "You forgot the pickle"
And I will respond,
"It is 2010 no one cares about you asking another guy for a pickle"
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
You guys have lots of sexual references with waiters down south, eh?
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Christ, I'd be fired in about an hour.
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.
It is not a north or south thing for me. My twisted sense of humor actually incorporated Benny Hill. He wasn't my only influance, but no, my humor is really simplistic in that all it amounts to is taking a word or sentence and twisting it, sexual or not.
I even have non sexual cornball crap I have thrown at my co-workers and customers .
Do you know why owners of Mercedes don't scuba dive?
BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS GET THE BENZ!
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Thats what I hate about my well intended friends on the left. It is one thing to say,"Your bullshit reasons for hating me wont cut it". It is another in your rightful struggle to combat bigotry to lose your sense of humor.
If I had a nickle for every time my co-workers poked fun of my atheism, I would make Bill Gates look like a wino bum.
There is a huge difference between someone who teases you because they like you and someone who hates you. I do not want to see humanity lose it's sense of humor because of political correctness.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.
It is just environment though. Once a business hits a certain size you just can't get away with that stuff anymore because it can get ugly too quick. I wouldn't want to be in an environment where hundreds of people could razz me to their hearts content, and a certain percentage of those people will have some genuine hate behind the words.
Even in a mid-size business like where I work though, the individual departments form their own level of humor. Some departments are dirty and nasty, others are very high brow. But everyone knows you watch how you act once you leave your own little bubble.
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.
Sadly I am the same way with my co-workers, it's great fun.
I cannot tell you how many times my believing co workers have made blessed me when I have sneezed knowing. I cannot tell you how many times they have responded to me when I have said "God damn it" and they have said "you cant say that".
My co-workers despite their beliefs and our differences are humans to me, but even more than that we really are that MASH unit under fire. We are the most dysfunctional "A-Team" I have ever worked with. I may be "Maxwell Klinger" to the rest, but by myself I could not do my job without Hawkeye or BJ.
I don't make my jokes to hurt others. I make my jokes to entertain. If that involves stereotypes so what? If a joke is at my expense, even better. Joking is the best way to tell others that you are in the same boat they are. If you cant laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
If you stripped my co workers of labels, including me, what you end up with is a bunch of humans who adapt to a pattern we all become good at.
Our menue is not what makes us. What makes the place I work at special is that it is not scripted Andy Griffin "Denny's" motif.
What is appealing to me is that it is homey and home town and it has not been corrupted by a corporate script and that the locals enjoy the interaction of the local employees.
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"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
What is really funny to me at work is one of my co-workers. She will say something, and even before I utter a damn thing she will say, "Don't even go there"
And I will respond
"What, I didn't say a thing"
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
No, looking into the mirror and seeing my face is bad. My jokes are a walk in the park.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Ah Benny Hill.
"I've got the face and figure of an eighteen year old girl"
"Well give it back! You're wrinkling it!"
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
This isn't work related but, still funny...
I had a boyfriend who was real good at changing lyrics to songs...
Garth Brooks, 'Two of a Kind Working on a Tight Mouse'
There were others but, I can't remember then right now.
'Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.' A. Einstein
I don't remember that exact skit, but it sounds like him.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
My first crush was Farrah Fawcett, but Luis English was my biggest crush as a kid. I wanted her to be my girlfriend more than anything in the world at that time,
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
And she's still putting in a lot of good work on London's West End (their broadway in case you didn't know)
The quote was from one of his may bits with Rita Webb.
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
Any Londoners out there, if you can get Louis English's autograph for me, I will marry you, even if you are the same sex, that, or I will simply be thankful.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
I'll take the thanks - here's a contact point with email: http://www.louiseenglishfancentre.com/
Don't get in trouble.
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
I have known about this site for a couple years now. I have not gotten a response. I have only e-mailed them one other time as to not be a stalker. I simply think it would be nice to have her autograph and might be easier for someone in person to get one after her shows or after a public appearance.
Famous people in general get tons of e-mail requests and don't always have time to address every single one. Where as in public it is harder to ignore fans in person.
I simply had a crush on her as a kid, but my life won't end if I never get her autograph. I also don't have Jame's Hetfeild's autograph (Metallica) but my life wont end if I never get that either.
I was just fishing to see if any Londoners might want to take a shot at that for me.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Cool, I just discovered that site once I read up on her acting chops. I was happy with her being just a pretty face (and everything else) but I got more curious when I read her CV
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
Many of my friends are stand up comics... we are vicious with one another, and if you show any sign of vulnerability, they'll pounce on you like a lion on a wounded elk.... we are never polite, or politically correct, nor do we take any of our feelings into account when we start breaking each other's balls... Had a bad breakup?... we wont hesitate to remind you that she is probably going down on some other guy as we speak...I was dumb enough to mention that I once had cancer... they destroyed me all night... Flub a line during a show?... that line will be relived continuously...
This is how we show love.... if you're not in, or around the business, its difficult to understand...but telling a buddy who says something stupid that you hope they get aids from their priest is just another way of saying "Dude, that made no sense"
after a Gig I had last year... a bunch of us came back to my house for a BBQ... one fella who regularly supports everything that I do was invited along...10 minutes into the night he leans over to my wife and asks "These guys are friends?"....
www.RichWoodsBlog.com