Oh man, I forgot...One of these recruits that presented his business today was a dowser.  Well infact he was a "womens empowerment something or other..."  He stood up and said something about helping women find their inner strength and then he held up the 2  90 degree dowsing rods and said "cross" and they crossed and then "striaghten" and they straightened.  I almost pissed my pants right there as everyone clapped for him, but I kept it together as everyone was generally nice and I didn't want to make a rukus, I really just wanted to get the fuck outta there quickly and quietly, this damb breakfast went on for hours.

There could always be a reason for that

BNI? 

Ya, they're weird, all right.

I had a business acquaintance invite me out to a 'breakfast'.

It was over 10 yrs ago, so my memory of it is thin. But, ya, there is a definite weird cult like vibe, and glazed look in their eyes, and these kind of creepy perma smiles. I know that sounds like a Twilight Zone episode, but, obviously you picked up on the vibe too.

And ya, you picked up on the flaw in the ointment, that, if you're a plumber, and a number of these people all know a plumber, it don't works so goods.

If I remember correctly, they were also quite, quite adamant about attending every single meeting, at some insane hour (like 6:30 am every Thursday, or something) and that if you couldn't personally do it, you were required to send someone to the meeting to fill your shoes.

They had a 'reasoning', that I don't quite remember, other than my feelings after hearing the explanation, were 'Ummmm.... STFU..."

The weird vibe, and the high cost of membership, totally turned me off of the idea.

If you're looking for business networking, the best place is a local Board of Trade. I used to be a member of 2 BOT's (you can be a member in another town/city) for a few years.

They can be really great. They have opportunities to get up an stage and do your 'pitch' to the entire audience, or you can take a more casual approach, and simply mingle.

They also hold events at different times, and occasions, and do cool things like hold 'speed networking' events.

I'm not sure if 'speed networking' came before 'speed dating' but it works on the same principle. It takes about an hour, 20 people who stay seated, and 20 people who get 3 minutes with one seated person, then move to the next table, and after, you all kinda hang out, and pick up where you left off with people you really had mutual 'connection' with, in a totally casual atmosphere.

The Board of Trade thing, is the best thing I found, but, I stopped advertising myself a long time ago, as I do work only through referrals, now.

With the Board of Trade membership, you often get a booklet (sometimes with a CD as well), with an index of all the companies, with contact names, title, address, phone number, business category, and company outline, of each member/organization.

You don't need to become an actual paying 'member' of a BOT. You can be a 'guest' of someone who is a member, and simply go to an event, and 'carpet bomb' the membership with business cards.

Back to the topic, of BMI.

I wouldn't touch them with a 10 ft pole, nor can I think of anyone who I think I would recommend it to.

 My ex was involved in one of those networking groups.  I'm not sure what the membership was but I'm always weary of groups that require a 'raw, raw!' setting to promote their shit.  If it is legitimate, the church like atmosphere is unnecessary.  I remember going to one of those meetings and I was suspicious the whole time even though it wasn't anywhere as evangelical as you have experienced.  I couldn't quite put my finger on why it was off, but it seemed like they tried way too hard.   I got invited last year to a meeting and I politely passed on it.

By the way things went, I'm pretty sure you could have stood up and said "my name is carl, I'm a porn director by day and child mollester by night" and everyone would have still clapped with big smiles.   

"and I was hoping if someone would be my co-sponsor" (holds a peculiar gray token up)

The Simpsons: episode Homer The Great offers an explanation. Watch the episode (specially the plumber scenes), that will make you understand.

Or something like this....I was just waiting for them so say "welcome to fight club, HIT ME!!!" or "New members must pass the hidden dangers initiation test"  or "Do you like coolaide?"  Maybe the ground opens up and they have a tin foil spaceship hidden under the golfcourse.   It's something, I don't know what but theirs something going on...

Correlation does not equal causation.

Otherwise John Travolta and Tom Cruise would indicate that Scientology is something that=success.

It just indicates how batsh1t crazy people can't cope with living a normal life, so they 'act' instead of getting a real job.

I have to completely agree.

I travel a lot, and have to attend many conferences, trade shows, business networks, and there's always some batsh1t crazy people. They're simply part of the fabric of society, and love meeting people, so they're going to be a given, anywhere where people meet.

I was invited in a sneaky way.  The painter on the site said "you own your own registered business right."  "Yup" I said, "I have some builders and contractors I meat with every once and a while to discuss projects, you should come along you might get some jobs."  I pictured this being 4-5 guys at Ihop or something talking about some current/future developments, turns out to be 80 random clapping chearing people at 8 am.  So right from the get go I feel as though I was deceived, you'd think it's outside the norm enough to warrant a proper description upon invitation, "well... it's a little hectic, lots of people, high energy, and they make you speak in front of the hole group, if your not into that kind of thing I won't sign you up."    Nothing like that, Sneaky sneaky... 

 I've never been a big fan of groups like BNI. I wouldn't classify them in the complete scam category because you will network with a few legitimate business people but them problem is that everyone at those meetings is in "sell sell sell" mode. And there really isn't much of a reason to shell out $600.

If you are going to spend that kind of money go to a charity dinner, the money will go to a good cause, most of the people there will be successful business people and when you talk to them, they will feel like you have something in common besides wanting to sell something. You will receive a far more favorable impression helping out a charity they care about than you would from attending the same BNI meeting. It is pretty easy and natural to talk to someone sitting at your table and eventually ask "what do you do?" "Do you have a business card?" "Here is mine, call me sometime" and in my experience, those contacts will be far more valuable. 

If you want to network with business people simply go places where people spend larger than average amounts of disposable income and time. If you have an actual interest in the activity it is even fun. Charities, political meetings, sportsman clubs, poker clubs, wine clubs, whatever. If you had the disposable income and time where would you go and what would you do? Chances are someone else does too.