I'm a pastafarian, believer in the flying spaghetti monster expalin why I am wrong
Offline Please could you pasta deprived ones explain why I am wrong.
The FSM created the world in 4 days (a day = whatever the FSM considers it to be)
Before using your evil heretical argumements like science or logic
Remember
a) The FSM can falsify any scientific knowledge or observation using his noodly appendages
b) The FSM exists outside logic, time , space or any of that atheistic stuff
c) The FSM loves you FACT
d) Anything written in the gospel is FACT (if it appears to be a total contradition it includes get out clauses for that)
e) We followers do have loose moral values, so if you want to use darwanian threats of sexual molestation on me and are moderately female and attractive you may use any tactics you feel like
f) If you don't believe in the FSM you can't really understand him
For the meatballs
MrJonno
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I'll be waiting....
If there are established evidences for Pasta's powers then I would give myself freely to it.
This information about what a day is to the FSM is rather important to my belief. Could you specify 'a day'?
Is philosophy okay? Specifically, the examination of your god's ethical stance.
a) Can the FSM get us over this pesky thing called gravity?
b)Then how would you know about it?
c)Aww. I like to be loved. Where is it so that I may return the love?
d)Ooo. What kind of benefits are there versus what kinds of punishements?
e) Um. No. I hope that a sub-clause contains something concerning safe sex. Also, if you could, please don't breed. I'm sure that your god has too many followers already.
f) I think if I understood it a little better then I might be able to believe. Would a truly wonderful thing such as the FSM need my blind faith?
This seems to be a little exclusionary to our vegetarian friends. Is meat eating a prerequisite for FSM worship?
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I know it's not good to start off with a disclaimer, but I feel it must be said. The OP in this thread has actually gone against pastafarian laws. We are a tolerant and happy people, we should not take on others and try to convert them in ways he is doing here. I am hoping he will see the errors of his ways and be much more friendly in any future replies and posts he makes. You have raised some questions though, so as a Pastafarian myself I shall try my best to answer them.
Eat a big bowl of pasta. Do you feel fulfilled? That is just one meagre example of his noodly power.
A day is a relative measurement. Here on earth a day is 24 hours long. For him it is what ever means he uses to establish the routine cycles of when he works and rests. Like us he then takes these amounts of time and organises them in to a 7 "day" week, 4 of which he works.
Of course it is, one of the laws of being a pastafarian is to know that we are fallable and have loose moral values. If someone comes along with proof that we are wrong, we are encouraged to follow this new information. Unlike many religions, we like science.
He is gravity. He is what stops us from flying off this planet due to centripital forces. In fact if you read the bible you will see the reason why man was once much shorter than he is today ... back then he didn't have so many people to hold down so he could do so with more force keeping us shorter.
He has revealed himself to a few, most notably the noble pirates. Don't be fooled, pirates are actually noble. It's purely other religions and races who spread false word of pirates being bad guys that gave them their incorrect bad name.
The FSM has a place for all. If you be good and worship is noodlyness you shall be rewarded with a place in heaven where there's a beer volcano and stripper factory. Can't get more love than that!
The love of his noodleness and lots of pasta are the benefits, verse a distinct lack of pasta. You choose.
We believe in safe sex for the same reasons atheists do. Our original thoughts on the idea have been proven wrong and we embraced them and shared some pasta.
It would not need to be blind. Just look at the platypus, a mamal with a ducks bill? What's the use in that? His noodlyness is very powerful but not very smart.
Not any more, we are a tolerant and accepting religion, just as the noble pirates of old were who were friendly fun folk who gave candy to children regularly. We understand not everyone is like us and we would rather share his noodly love than deny it for something as petty as not eating meat. There are plenty of alternatives anyway.
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
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You are not wrong...please pass the Ragu.
Your efforts are greatly appreciated.
However, I am also fulfilled by eating large portions of home-made stir fry that is devoid of pasta or any type of ingredient made of grain. Science has told me that foods such as pasta and bread are not conducive to a long healthy life. Is this cause for concern?
I am often required to work six days per week. Sometimes, my work cannot be accomplished in even that time. Are there times when the FSM leaves us to work our proverbial asses off to do its work?
That's wonderful. Open-mindedness is appreciated while loose-mindedness is judged repulsive. Perhaps you could give me an example of new information that Pastafarians have accepted into the doctrine since its inception and the reason for its inclusion?
Since the measure of the FSM's force is its power to hold us to the Earth, I am amazed that he cannot hold spacecraft, airplanes, and hot air balloons down as well. It seems that we exercise much control over the FSM rather than vise versa.
Actually, there are many modern day pirates that behave in a manner that is not conducive to their words being readily accepted. In the South Pacific, pirates quite often engage in activities such as drug smuggling, slave running, and extortion schemes. Are these the modern day examples of Pastafarianism?
I don't drink beer. However, I am curious as to the mechanics of the beer volcano and the stripper factory. Can we be sure that we will be able to feel the effects of the beer after death? Is it drinkable?
Also, what do the strippers think about this being manufactured? Is there mention of the strippers being produced for our pleasure or is it just a manufacturing place? How will I make money to give to the strippers and who protects them from those who would go too far with them?
I could live and die without pasta. The 'love of his noodleness' seems to still be very obscurely explained or warranted. What are the motivations for his giving us his love? What does the FSM require of me?
I see. That's very nice. How difficult was it to include this new data? Are there some pastafarians that do not follow this doctrine and why or why not?
Why not simply correct the error made if truly a powerful being? It seems couterintuitive for the FSM to prove his existence with a flaw in creating such a creature.
Is this doctrine of inclusion universal? Are there differing sectarian issues among pastafarians with regard to people? When you speak of 'not everyone is like us', what is meant?
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I know I shouldn't because this was a joke, but just incase.
FSM bible was made as a joke to make fun of Christianity. Becuase, you know, just incase your serious.
"When I die I shall be content to vanish into nothingness.... No show, however good, could conceivably be good forever.... I do not believe in immortality, and have no desire for it." ~H.L. Mencken
Thank god i'm a atheist!
These other foods only exist because even the FSM himself knows that a change is occasionally good for one to re-affirm their beliefs. I am sure if you pay more attention to the fulfillment received from pasta and these other types of meals you may well notice they are slightly different.
These are your doings and your doings alone, just as people of other religions lay claim that they cannot work on the Sabbath yet it is still more than possible for them to do so. Why you would do this so often is beyond me, surely a pub lunch on Fridays is highly appealing as his Noodlyness desires you to do.
Alas I myself am a born again pastafarian who only discovered the faith close on two years ago now, so I am not informed enough in doctrines to answer this specific question. I am sorry to dissapoint.
Ahh but he does hold them down, just not to the same degree. He saw in the days of the Wright brothers that this may well be a much faster and improved way for us to travel and just like a father slowly guides a child when teaching the kid to ride a bicycle, so did he very tentatively allow the Wright brothers to lift off from the earth. As our confidence and knowledge grew he has held on weaker and weaker until finally releasing completely for a few lucky Astronaughts & Cosmonaughts, and with his now free noodly appendage he wiped a single glistening tear of proudness from his eye.
Actually, there are not many modern day pirates at all. What you refer to as pirates aren't actually pirates at all. In fact they are about as opposite of real Pirates as one can get. Those dirty evil deeds you speak of are things a real Pirate couldn't even imagine doing. As I said, those are lies spread by other races and religions who are jealous of how noble, good and loved real Pirates were.
Of course! If it was good enough to get his Noodliness drunk enough on the second(?) night that he forget all about creating firmament in the first place (hence his creating a second which is the one that we now live on - it's all in the gospel) then it must be some really great stuff.
Unfortunately I am at work and do not have my gospel with me, but he woke up the day after and found this strange factory that he must have created while drunk with scantily clad women coming out of it. That is all that is known about that for now as I am unaware of anyone who has gone to heaven and returned to tell us the tale.
Only that you try to give a good, hearty and wholesome life. Treat others well, occasionally say "Yarrr" and give candy to children.
I cannot speak for others and as I stated earlier I have only been a born again pastafarian for nigh on two years, so I am unaware of the events that took place to introduce this new doctrine. There are people of all races and religions who both do and don't follow this doctrine too, why should we be any different?
It just proves that despite being all-powerful he is not all-knowing. A common arguement given to christians is "if your god is so powerful and so wise, could he create a hole so long and so deep that he could not jump over it". Our answer is of course no. Firstly he wouldn't jump, he'd fly. Secondly he'd be more than powerful enough to jump over any hole, but in trying to come up with a hole that size he'd probably just get bored and start drinking (that latter part is my guess only, it is not doctrine).
There are people who are not as tolerant as we are taught to be, who are not as friendly, as open and logical to the point where we would even correct our holy scriptures if new irrefutable evidence was found.
RAmen brother.
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
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Of course, if I was serious I wouldn't have the signature that I do because that statement would include Pastafarianism. I'm just having some fun here.
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
Censored and blacked out for internet access in ANZ!
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Is there baptism for Pastafarianism? If so, please provide details.
Thank you.
^^^
I'm not sure, but I imagine it's something like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady goes into a kiddy-pool full of noodles.
Yes.
A few points
a) For the meatballs is not anti vegetarian, its pro meatballs , I am also for the pasta
b) I believe if you read the gospel trying to convert people is quite permitted, taking money of them on false pretences is not (however I'm not really trying to covert anyone just get laid)
c) The Flying Spaghetti Monster is real unlike the zombie risen son of god or sword wielding 'where's the beer' prophet religions
d) The force that attracts 2 masses together is called gravity by science but is in fact an invisible noodly appendage attached between such objects
e) My spiritual experience was trying to eat spaghetti with a white shirt, trying to eat that and keep a clean shirt is a true test of faith
Walking the plank unlike hollywood and false religions have you believe isn't a cruel and unusual punishment. It is in actual fact a fun celebratory time filled with beer, hookers, lollies and of course pasta and was actually the origin of the sport now known as diving. Pirates, Pastafarians and new recruits enjoyed being baptised and it wasn't unusual for one to be baptised on a regular basis.
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
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????????????
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Best. Thread. Ever.
I wonder if any non-Pastafarian theists are reading this and smelling the smeaming pile of spaghetti that is satire or atheist-theist debate.
BTW, I was a pirate for Halloween, but don't say "yarr" quite as often as one probably should.
"Yarr"
Shaun
I'll fight for a person's right to speak so long as that person will, in return, fight to allow me to challenge their opinions and ridicule them as the content of their ideas merit.
Some of us really do enjoy a good pasta , grog and wenches (well not luck on the wenches)
LMAO AT IRUKA'S PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the FSM, and I think his drunken design makes much more sense.
Is it a proof of the FSM that DNA molecules looks like to spaghettis rolled over? please answer i'm a recent convert...
For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof,
then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.