Rational priorities - health and goals
Offline Well, I haven't been in this forum for awhile, but now's a good time to get back in the game and to get back in touch.
Anyways though, I need some serious help. This may not be the right forum to discuss this here, but I think a lot of people will relate so I'm hoping a lot of people can at least direct me to some sources.
Let me start off by introducing myself and my situations. I'm a 20 year old college student that just moved from buffalo, ny all the way across the country to eugene, or. I got into religion, politics, science, history, etc about two years ago when I started to have a lot of realizations about society and I have since devoted my life to educating myself and finding ways to take a stand. I want to talk about some problems that I've been having, and see if I can get others to talk about solutions for REAL goals and also a good lifestyle at the same time.
Just from the past two years of educating myself I have learned so much. It has completely changed who I am and if I could meet myself two years ago I would probably be blown away.
I've been having some serious emotional problems though, and I really need to start talking to people about it. As I started to question more and more, I started to become more and more alienated from society. I just can't relate to people anymore. I don't agree with the way the vast majority of people live. I'm quite frankly utterly pissed off at my generation for the most part. During the vietnam war kids my age were raising complete hell and practically stopped the war. Nowadays, my generation is in a complete trance. Completely stagnant. It's everywhere I go. After everything I've studied I just feel completely horrible. I just think that the lack of creativity, the lack of rebellion, the lack of freethinking, is truly a sad sad spectacle. Almost like the realities of 1984 but just not as extreme.
I've just been so lonely and don't know how to deal with it. I'm frustrated, stressed out, depressed, and angry... all of the time. I don't partake in many of the mindless things kids my age do. I have such a hard time making friends cause I don't drink or party, and it seems like that is ALL that people like to do for fun. It really upsets me. I want more. I want to do real things. I grew up skateboarding, but don't really have time for that anymore.
Adding to my misery, I moved all the way across the country to escape the hell that I was living in in buffalo, and it hasnt helped. Things have been worse because now I have less. Classes start back up in 2 weeks and I might meet some new people, but I'm not feeling it here at all, and might even be moving back.
I've been coming up with solutions, however, and I think I just need a guide and I will be fine... Right now laying next to my bed is a STACK of all of these books I've collected over the past year so, and I want to devour them all. I have so many books that I just want to plow through. So much knowledge that I'm just dying to have. As I've already stated, just from two years of reading several books, it really changed me a lot. So I know that there is some great potential waiting around the corner for me.
My problem though is that I just can't do it! I come home, I lay around on my bed and just dick around on myspace and youtube. I generally do constructive things like watching documentaries all of the time, but I know that my true potential lies through intellectually engaging myself and attacking all of these books. I'M JUST NOT MOTIVATED. I'm so lonely and separated from the world that I feel like I just can't take it on.
I'm searching for a new way of looking at problems, and how to deal with them and myself. I'm looking for a way to CALM DOWN. To learn how to be healthier mentally, physically, emotionally, and intellectually. I titled this post "rational priorities" and that's what I'm trying to get to the bottom of. I have all of these realizations about society with religion and politics, but feel completely clueless and directionless on how I can challenge myself to set real goals.
What I really want to hear the most from this forum is people who have their own stories about their goals and what they've set out for themselves. How have you found a way to educate yourself and put your ideas into motion? How have you found a way to RELAX, to make peace with yourself in this indoctrinated and controlled slave state we are living in. We all here understand the importance of reason and it's truly remarkable potential for humankind. I look forward to hearing some ideas
peace
"The most formidable weapon against errors of ever kind is Reason. I have never used any other and I trust I never shall." -Thomas Paine: Age of Reason
"Every true faith is infallible -- It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. Here the ways of men divide. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search." - Nietzsche
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My first suggestion to you is to find someone you can speak to about all this. Your college should have therapists on campus and it shouldn't cost you anything.
You've made some serious changes in your life. Moving all the way across the country is HUGE. Going to college is stressful enough, but if you're a bit on the fringe of regular society, that can make it even harder. Have you looked around at what groups or clubs there are? For example, you mention that you don't drink or party. I remember when I was in college there was the straightedge club. Perhaps your school has something similar.
Even though I'm ten years older than you, I know EXACTLY what you mean about your generation being stagnant. I felt (and still feel) the same way. But that doesn't mean you have to stagnant with them. Be your own creative genius. Try not to worry what other people are doing in their personal lives. If they want to walk to through life as zombies, that's their perogative. Don't let it affect you.
Just remember that eras you mention (Vietnam, civil rights) were explosive. The social anomie and civil unrest was quite intense, I'm sure. Thing is, sometimes it takes something like that to happen in order for people to wake up.
I don't know if this helps but whenever I feel really stressed out, I write. Just stream of conscious bullshit. It sort of feels like I'm mentally vomiting all the negativity onto a page and then I feel better.
I hope some of this helps, but again, if this is really bothering you you should probably find someone to talk to.
Good luck!
If god takes life he's an indian giver
I think most humans of any generation are zombies. The current generation that is in the college years is no worse or better really than any other generation.
We all have periods of our life where we feel no excitement, no discovery, alienation. Often those periods come to define you in a lot of ways.
For myself I tend to be obsessive on short term basis. I get obsessed on a subject and study it intensely for a couple years, then pass on to something else. Sometimes an old obsession passes with nothing new to replace it.
During those periods I just think. About anything and everything.
I suppose the way to get out of it depends on the individual.
Have you ever tried jumping out of a plane? With a parachute of course. That's a real eye-opener.
"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci
I can really relate. The best advice I'd give you is to hang out in our stickam chatroom and make some friends, including with me. I can relate, and I'd love to have you around. We can feed off each other, as I too get upset at the state of the world, and often.
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I can completely relate to this. Actually, I would say it has taken 4 years for me to become a totally different person. I am 25 by the way. 4 years ago my worldview was incredibly different.
Well, my siblings are your age, 19 and 21. I feel like they are in a different generation even though they aren't really. I feel somewhat alienated from society at this point in my life too. I am in grad school, and I don't feel a real connection with the people here. I have my close friends who I definitely feel connected with, but I am certainly distanced from "society" by several degrees. So I feel you.
I don't drink or party either. Every time I have a drink it makes me tired and anti-social, and I end up wondering why I even bothered. My boyfriend likes to hand me a beer or some such alcohol on the weekends when he drinks, and I am coming to the realization that I don't like alcohol at all. I don't mind going to a bar or club IF they have good music to dance to, but I don't go there to socialize, I go there to feel music and dance. I don't do that too often either, maybe once every few months. I feel like I want to be alone, but once I am alone, I am lonely.
One thing that has helped me a lot is that I found an atheist meetup group on www.meetup.com. We meet every two weeks and those folks are great. They are open, they get me, I get them...but I checked in your are and there is no meetup set up yet, though there are people waiting for one to get organized.
I sort of have the opposite problem. I have lived in St. Louis all of my life. We have a house and all of my family still lives here. Up until this summer I have never wanted to leave, but recently I have felt that this city has given me all there is to offer. I don't know why. When I imagine trying to live somewhere else though, I just wonder what the point would be. I don't think I would be happy moving either.
Try sticking some in the bathroom. Take a bath. Read. Once you get into the book you might be motivated to continue reading. Works for me anyway!
I majorly feel your pain here. I am totally in the same exact freaking situation. I don't know why. I dick around and don't get anything done, and procrastinate on doing my schoolwork - thankfully it has not been such a heavy load this semester. To be totally frank, I was diagnosed with ADD when I was a kid, and I have been thinking of going back on some type of medication. However I lost the phone number for the psychiatrist and have not been motivated enough to go looking for it... LOL..
I really hear you. I feel the exact same way as far as the goals go. As far as calming down goes, I think I need to move in the opposite direction. I don't feel happy or sad, good or bad. I just feel.. neutral.
I know I am not giving you the story you are looking for, but I can relate to your situation so I figured I would post anyway. Something I have been itching to do recently is to take my digital camera and interview all of my friends, and make a documentary for myself about my life as it is now. I don't know exactly why I want to do this, but I think once I start doing it, my videos will make me happy. It will give me a chance to get my friends and family to open up to me. There is so much about them that I don't know. I feel like my relationship with all people has become shallow.
I used to write a lot of poetry, but for the past 4 years I really haven't been able to write. So I am with you, I don't know what my problem is.
Your resident OTD/S, Christina
A good scientist will always change her mind if new evidence is presented which gives her sufficient reason to change it.
www.ziztur.com
You are depressed, which is a very normal reaction for someone in your situation.
Your biggest problem is having been uprooted across the country and put into a situation where you know few people and are lonely. That's the problem you need to focus on and resolve, and the rest of your issues will become managable.
Suggestion #1: Get some exercise. This sounds lame, but it is an amazingly effective cure for depression. Your brain chemistry is more balanced with exercise and you have more energy to do the stuff you like to do. If you join a sports team (even rec league) you will not only get exercise but meet friends and possibly even get laid, which also helps a lot.
Suggestion #2: Talk to a therapist. Can't hurt, will help, no one has to know but you. Your college probably has one you can see for free.
Suggestion #3: Get antidepressent drugs and take them properly. They work and they will snap you out of the funk so that you can get to work setting up your life in your new home so that it is pleasing to you. Given that the other two suggestions take rather more energy and initiative than you may feel you have right now, maybe this should be your first priority. Your doctor can prescribe them.
Mainly, don't feel bad about feeling bad. It isn't your fault. If you get a cold you don't agonize about it, you just take steps to get better. Same thing when your brain gets sick.
Lazy is a word we use when someone isn't doing what we want them to do.
- Dr. Joy Brown
ALRIGHT, I think I've got it figured out now. I apologize for my delayed response. I hope people actually look at this post again and help out.
Well before I respond, I have one question that I finally figured out... We were talking about how I'm very unmotivated and whatnot, and looking for realistic goals. Well here is my problem: when I'm reading all of these books I don't have a specific goal in mind and it is holding me back. I mentioned that just reading several books over the past two years really benefited me a lot. Well, that alone isn't really inspiring me enough.
For example, I'll be reading about U.S military history or something. You know, the corruption of the government and U.S imperialism - and then it comes to a point where I just say fuck it! Because when you read books for the sake of analysis on religion or whatever, you want to take in information that you can help communicate to other people. Well all too often when I'm reading I just can't take it on because doing it for just myself doesn't always satisfy me enough. I stop and say "ahh who the fuck is going to care about this anyways. Most kids my age are sleepwalking. It will go right through them."
I'm just trying to keep in mind a more specific - and realistic goal - so that I can comfortably challenge myself. I'm trying to find a way to think like a historian or something, were I am just trying to collect information for my own personal sake.
Any ideas??
"Every true faith is infallible -- It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. Here the ways of men divide. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search." - Nietzsche
mod edit - double post
I also don't have a specific goal academically. I'm looking for where to make my mark in the world, and I can always adjust my goals, but all I know is that I want to study philosophy and political science, and then just see where my education takes me. I'm devoted to social justice, but I'm just as passionate on fighting for reason and promoting freethought. Just keeping this in mind alone isnt helping me set a real goal to aim for. I feel like I need something specific, or maybe I'm just letting my mind get to myself. Anyways, I think that's all that is really keeping me down. I'm certainly not going to just give everything up and give in to consumerist culture. They can't have me.
"Every true faith is infallible -- It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. Here the ways of men divide. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search." - Nietzsche
As someone who has been on antidepressants, I highly recommend trying alternatives first, but if you need them, do go on them. Many people do swear by using fish oil and other natural treatments. I really wish you the best.
ChosenByPasta -
First, I'd like to tell you not to worry.
I'm 33, and the father of two kids. But it seems like just yesterday I was 20 and in college, feeling a lot of the same things that you are.
Here are some suggestions/observations that I hope will help you...
You're 20. That's really young. You are going to change as much from age 20 to age 30 as you did from age 10 to age 20. So, being 20 and feeling somewhat directionless is not unusual. Actually, I think it's fine. You have options. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I was 20. I spent my first two years of college drunk because of crap that was going on at home. I was sporting a 1.9 GPA by the end of my sophomore year. I quit drinking, and made dean's list 3 out of my remaining 4 semesters. So don't feel bad about not being a drinker/partyer. I would give anything to repeat those first two years sober and get good grades in the easy classes I was blowing off. Anyway, don't sweat your current situation. I think you're in good shape in terms of where you are in the world. At least you're aware of the zombie-like state of others. That puts you ahead of the game.
I don't know what you're majoring in, but do you like the major you've chosen? If not, don't be afraid to change it. If you really don't know what you want to do professionally, you can't go wrong majoring in something practical (like business, which is what I did) and minoring in something a bit more stimulating.
Also - have you considered taking a year off from school? Your personal reading backlog seems to be an issue for you, so why not take a year off, get a part-time job, and catch up? A lot of people aren't finishing college in 4 years. No big deal.
I would recommend that you make the most of your move and get to know the city you live in. I moved to Maine after I graduated from college, and I'd never lived there before. It seemed to be a stupid move at first, but it turned out to be one of the best things I ever did. Met my wife there, and we still have lots of friends there (and also a lot of friends who don't live there anymore, but that we're still in touch with). I don't have a single friend who was someone I went to college with, or even high school for that matter. The people you meet in your early 20's will be the ones who you forge lifelong friendships with.
What else...oh, have you thought about volunteering anywhere in town? That's a great way to meet people. I would recommend performing arts venues, like theaters, concert halls, etc. They're always looking for ushers and things like that. (Plus, you usually get a free ticket to the show.) But really, anyplace that needs volunteers for even a few hours a week is a good way to get to know people. And it's good for your resume too.
Have you checked the "Strictly Platonic" area of the Personals section on Craigslist.org? I was just looking through it for Eugene and about a week ago someone posted about weekly capture the flag games (See postings for Sept. 8th). Damn, I like a good game of capture the flag.
And just a final note about not having a professional goal at the moment - again, don't worry. I got into a line of work after college that was only loosely based on my major. My point is, there will be a place for you somewhere. Don't try to predict the future.
Hope this all helps.
Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.
Why Believe?
Oops forgot to respond, sorry.
But as far as my goals I've got a fine direction going. Although I may have expressed worries about them in my original post, my post was mainly on my discipline and mental state.
I'm going to post a new topic soon to see if I can demonstrate a better idea of what I'm looking for.
"Every true faith is infallible -- It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. Here the ways of men divide. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search." - Nietzsche