Grandma kicks Thanksgiving's ass
Offline In her new, post-cancer press to belittle and mock Christianity, my Grandma stopped the Thanksgiving blessing in its tracks yesterday. Try to imagine a diminutive, asskicking atheist dressed in blue (with matching blue hat to hide the ahir that hasn't come back yet) sitting next to me. We have all filled our plates, and one of my father's guests asked if he could say grace. Well, he got about 30 seconds in to it, and Super Grandma says, "Oh geez! Did I survive cancer so that I could listen to some stranger give thanks to soemthing that doesn't exist? I tell you what, I am going to start eating, and the rest of you can eat your food cold when he stops talking to his imaginary friend."
The only sound in the diningroom came from my sister and me because we couldn't hide our giggling. What was crazy was that the dude actually finished the blessing, but when he raised his eyes, everyone else was eating. Evidently, age and recent illness provides amazing rights of truly free speech.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
- Login to post comments
Age and wisdom cuts through the bullshit! I hope your Grandmother gets better soon. I love feisty old folks.
Ever "hang-ten" on the bow of a nuclear powered aircraft carrier at 30+ knots?
Dude, you have the most badassed Grandma ever! That is all.
Damn, I wish I had your grandma instead of my fundie one.
Dang!!
Old feisty people rock. My wife is a CNA and some of the people she takes care of can still throw a fit. Just yesterday she had one that decided he wanted some cigarrates again--sure he's on oxygen and the doctor said he needed to stop--but he's also 95 years old! So he carried his 20 pound oxygen machine and IV drip a mile and a half to the nearest gas station and bought a pack of cigarretes then walked back!
I understand you so much better now, I think. You're whole damn family is like you! Wow.
Err... I guess you are like your family.... whatever.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Yeah, we are pretty much the same. There are some wimpy little pussies, but that is due to poor breeding choices by my aunts.
Here's another one about Grandma. When I was five, President Reagan had had some sort of rectal cancer removed. About six months later, he had skin cancer removed from his nose. Grandma and I were blasting along in her '67 Mustang when the radio announced that the president's cancer had successfully come off his nose.
Grandma looked at me and said, "First, he had cancer in his butt. Now, he's got it on his nose. I wonder where his nose has been." I missed the humor as a five year old, but it makes me laugh today.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer