This is kind of urgent...
Offline Hey guys, I really need some help right now.
Before I get to my issue, I need to give you a little bit of background information. I am 15 years old, and proud to be an atheist. However, I am growing up in a really orthodox Southern Baptist Christian family. Obviously they know that I am an atheist, and this usually can cause some disagreements about certain things/issues. I have taught myself how to avoid disturbances as much as possible, but sometimes, particularly this time, I haven't been able to avoid it, and I also can't deal with it on my own.
I'll try to make this story as short as possible. Yesterday me and my dad (who happens to be the most religious person in my family) were out at my little sister's cheerleading competition. It's not uncommon at these things for there to be quite a few homosexual men around, which I don't have any problem with, but my dad does. We were sitting next to a particular boy who happened to be noticably gay, and this immediatly caused my dad to be extremely disgusted and disturbed. I tried to get my dad to ignore it as much as possible, but when the competition was over and we had left, he felt the need to vent about how much it had bothered him. I tried to ignore him but when it had gone on for a little while I was getting kind of fed up and told him that I don't think that he should be so prejudiced against a certain group of people, because it's not like they were harming him. I just told him that I think that they should have the right to be wherever they want to be and that I didn't think it was fair for him to keep going on and on about how much he hated these people. This really made him go off. He started to yell at me about how twisted my worldview was that I was ok with this perverse abomination. He compared homosexuals to child molesters and bank robbers, and continued to throw personal accusations at me about having no morals, supporting perverse psychopaths, etc. etc.. To shorten the length of this story, I won't go into detail about all the things that led up to what he said next. He told me that he couldn't believe how far I had strayed from the truth and from who he thought I was. He told me that he wants to have me commited for 6 months to try to straighten me out, because obviously he was failing to do so. He said that I made him want to throw up and cry bitter tears, and that if I said one more thing, even a slip of something that he didn't like, he swore he would disown me. He told me that he has put up with my sick and twisted ideas for too long, and that he was looking forward to me saying something else so that he could prove to me that he was serious about disowning me and sending me away. He said that he was going to make sure that I never had any more personal freedoms while I lived in his house, including getting my driver's license and going to college. He swore to me that he wanted to disown me. This was all in the car on the way home.
When we get home, he wants to talk me some more, and tells me that ever since I told him that I was an atheist, he has regretted everyday of being my dad and bringing me into this world. In his eyes, I am an the biggest disappointment of his life, and he can't believe that I even call myself his daughter. This went on for about an hour.
The reason I am telling you guys this is because I don't know what to do. Nothing like this has ever happened to me, and I never imagined that my own dad would feel such strong hatred towards me. It's not like I am legal or in any position to move out on my own; I'm only 15. I can't drive yet, I have no money. I'm really very lost and confused about where to go from here.
I need some advice. Please, anything would be so greatly appreciated. I'm counting on you guys.
Thanks,
Lisa
"You can't convince a believer of anything; for their belief is not based on evidence, it's based on a deep-seated need to believe." - Carl Sagan
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I'm late to the conversation as well, but here are my two cents.
I agree with the strategy of not rubbing atheism in your family's face, but also not faking belief, and sitting tight until you're 18.
I believe it was QuasarX who mentioned exploring scholarship information with a counselor in school. I'd also recommend talking to either a counselor at school and/or a teacher about your situation - assuming you can find one or the other who isn't hardcore Christian as well. You don't need to be specific with them - just tell them you're having a lot of differences of opinion with your parents, and even though you don't feel in danger or anything, you want to be prepared for the possibility that they may not support you once you're 18.
Hopefully they'll help you with scholarship exploration. In the meantime, I would also recommend that you undertake an exercise in personal finance. I think you're at the right age for it:
Do some checking around with some colleges - start with in-state junior/community colleges since they're the cheapest - and figure out how much it will cost you to attend each year. Make sure to allow for book costs - most colleges will provide you with an estimate.
Then, check the room and board costs (assuming they have dorms & cafeterias) and compare that to how much it would cost you to rent a small apartment and buy groceries for yourself every week. Sometimes it's cheaper to live off-campus, sometimes it's not. Find out out for sure this way. You can always live on campus until you find someone to share an apartment with.
Next, figure out what other costs you'll have each year. If you have a car, budget for gas, insurance and repairs. Budget for your cell phone, other types of transportation if you don't have a car, health insurance (which you should be able to buy through the school - ask them for a quote), etc. Whatever costs you'll have that you can think of.
In the end, you'll have a total dollar amount of what it will cost you to live and go to school. When you know that amount, you'll know how much money you'll need to get - between scholarships and perhaps getting a part-time job - to be independent from your parents. Once you know how much scholarship money you'll be getting, you can then calculate how many hours you'll need to work at whatever hourly rate during the year to earn the difference.
As for the military, I'd be a bit careful with that. If you join, the thing you're going to want most are the education benefits - i.e. what the military will pay towards your college costs. It's wartime, and I've heard numerous news stories of recruiters misrepresenting military benefits across all branches. So if you do decide to join, have someone look over the contract very closely. Someone like your dad, maybe.
If he thinks you're willing to join the military to get away, maybe he'll support you!
Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.
Why Believe?
While in the military you can attend any public university for free no matter what the contract says. It applies to every US active military person.
The only thing in the military contract you need to really scrutinize is getting in a particular field, like Advanced Electronics. That's what I did.
"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci
Wow lisa... Just wow.
The basterd wants to Disown you ? I say get out if you can and live your life the way you want to.
Being 15 will make it tough on you, I could suggest turning him into the Child protective service people. But those people can be even worse then your father.
There really is not easy answere i can think of for you, Whatever you decide is going to be hard. Ether you put up with your asshole bigoted father,,,, OR you stand you ground and become a emancipated minor.
Bothe solutions have major issues..... I wish you the best of luck on this issue.
Its a shame parents can't be arrested for this bull
I would save cash, keep the confrontation to a minimum even if it means biting your tongue and not arguing for your beliefs. That may sound cowardly but a more peaceful home life will allow you to study better and do well in your exams, after all it sounds like any reasoning with your dad will fall on deaf ears so it's pointless. Talking with like minded people will help with your frustrations so feel free to rant here!
Once you are fully ready to leave (for college etc), which will be on your own terms then you'll have some money behind you and it will be bye bye folks, look out world.
Good luck with it all.
I'm going to throw my two cents in quickly.
Make sure that you cover your computer activity. If your father found out about this thread he'd positively flip out.
If god takes life he's an indian giver
If you really don't want your tracks to be seen, install and use a second web browser called "Opera" from http://www.opera.com/
Opera has a unique feature called "Delete private data" that will wipe your tracks and close all open web pages immediately.
Your god's silence speaks loud and clear
Firefox will do the same, Tools -> Clear Private Data (Control-Shift-Delete)
Very useful when doing web dev...
Firefox has a similar feature, but it does not close all your open web pages. Opera's delete private data feature will close all your open web pages instantly and present you with a blank page. Also, if you don't make Opera or Firefox your default browser, you can move your desktop shortcut and start menu shortcuts for that browser (assuming you are using windows) off to another spot on your drive so a layperson would never know another browser was installed.
Your god's silence speaks loud and clear
Both can also be installed onto a USB thumbdrive if need be; so the entire browser along with the full history and information can be taken with you and not left for discovery.
If there is absolutely no chance of your father ever getting over himself and his nonsense religion, you should tell him that you're gay- just for laughs.
Honestly, if I were in your place, I would find it hard to take anything he says seriously.
My Brand New Blog - Jesu Ad Nauseum.
God of the Gaps: As knowledge approaches infinity, God approaches zero. It's introductory calculus.
I'm very glad I was born into an atheist family. Your situation sounds horrible. I agree with most of the people on here who think you should stick it out till you're 18 if you can. If not you've got some hard choices. Have you considered studying abroad? Once you are 18 and starting University it might be a good option for you. It would mean you are further away and you are an adult in legal and social terms in most European countries when you are 18 which would give you a lot more freedom, and from reading what you've said that might be a welcome break for you. Although as many have noted, France is a bit shit.