Stupid theist bumper stickers
Posted on: December 18, 2006 - 4:43pm
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Stupid theist bumper stickers
This is a place to post the stupid theist bumper stickers (or signs, etc) you have seen.
The one leaping to my mind is "God said it. I believe it. That settles it."
Translation:
"I was told a book I've never actually completely read that claims to have been inspired by God says that God said certain things. Since I was told this my entire life and it would really be too difficult and uncomfortable to actually look into these claims, I still believe them. That settles it."
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"Real Men Love Jesus"
"My Boss is a Jewish Carptenter"
"Choose Life. Your mom did!"
"I believe in the Big Bang. God said it and "Bang" it happened!"
Saw this today: "Jesus Never Fails".
I don't know, Darwin did manage to go his entire life without getting his ass nailed to a cross.
Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine
Very true... he didn't start getting crucified until the religious right took over in the late twentieth century.
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Next to a nativity scene near my apartment:
"Wise men still seek him"
Church Signs:
"Nails didn't hold Jesus on the cross... Love did"
"Wal*mart isn't the only place that saves"
"Christ's return is near. Don't miss it for the world"
Of course my favorite is the one in my avatar
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
"7 days without Jesus makes one weak"
"Give Satan an inch and he'll be your ruler."
"God Nation" (which I changed to Goddamn Nation one drunken night from letters on the other side. It was quickly removed the next morning).
"Hungry? Feast on the word of the Lord."
I already had a couple of these on my signature so here they are again. Courtesy of the church by my house. I'd like to get my own church board for my front lawn and put nonsensical spoutings on it too.
Love that pict!
There is this guy here in town whos van is plastered with every theist bumper sticker made by man. I think he works at walmart...lol...maybe ill see if he is working and snap a couple pictures...lol
We must favor verifiable evidence over private feeling. Otherwise we leave ourselves vulnerable to those who would obscure the truth.
~ Richard Dawkins
"One Nation Under God" "Merry Christmas!"
I kid you not. There's a guy driving around my town in his redneck-mobile (AKA pickup truck) with those two bumper stickers right next to each other and no, not just during the holiday season. I first noticed the truck during the summer. One of these days I'm going to have my digital camera handy and get a picture.
I have a folder in "My Pictures" entitled "Stupid Jesus Shit." I was planning on collecting pictures of stupid bumper stickers. I have a couple, but nothing that tops the "One Nation Under God"/"Merry Christmas!" duo.
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I'd love to fuck with a church sign!
I love this one.
"I believe in the Big Bang. God said it and "Bang" it happened!"
It was during the Beyond Belief Sessions that I first saw that one. I believe it was Mr. Neil Tyson who put it up.
What about the one that has the cartoon flames and says "Don't believe in God? You better be right!" Yeah, and you better believe in the right one, so you better be right too, muthafucka!
Why are Christians so in love with Pascal's wager?
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I suspect because it's fairly easy for them to think up all by themselves, so they then assume that no one else has made that argument.
Anyway, more church sign quotes:
"Jesus is your hope in hopelessness"
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
How about:
"Know Jesus, Know Peace / No Jesus, No Peace"
"In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned."
"My priest molested your honor student...."
Yeah, a little off topic, and some of you may have heard this one already....
http://www.cafepress.com/cp/search/poe/?CMP=KNC-Y-EF&q=Jesus&OVRAW=christian%20bumper%20stickers&OVKEY=christian%20bumper%20sticke...
Check this out. My favorite is "Christian who thinks".