Well, to begin with, I think the question is even more loaded than most people think. Not only are questions of sexual ethics rooted in religion, they are also central to many aspects of feminism, which has just about as many variations as religion! Then, when you start to consider that many feminists are also religious... wow... Can you think of a subject that is more difficult to look at objectively? I can't.

Anyway, for the record, here's what I think personally about all those things you asked. I like to think that there's some logic to my beliefs, but I'd hardly say that my beliefs are representative of every atheist.

1. Pre-marital sex. Sure. In fact, I think it's a great idea. Would you want to get married to someone and then find out that their sexual tastes were completely different than yours, or that you were just not physically compatible? Furthermore, who said that the end goal of a relationship is "supposed to be marriage"? Without religious dogma, there's no reason to assume that you can't have a very happy relationship that doesn't lead to marriage, or kids, or any of the other stuff we're "supposed to do."

2. Promiscuity. Well, STDs are one of the main reasons why promiscuity is risky, so it's hard to take them out of the equation. On the other hand, with proper treatment, most of them aren't the worst thing that can happen in your life, so it's not like your life ends if you get an STD (literally, or figuratively). Also, what exactly is promiscuity? If you mean cheating, that's probably a bad idea. If you mean being single and having multiple partners, the worst thing you risk is AIDS, and if you give that to other people, I'd say you're a pretty nasty person. If you get tested regularly, practice safe sex, and don't lie about your habits, I don't think there's anything particularly bad about it. As with most things, I think moderation is probably a good idea.

3. Prostitution. Here's one that even feminists can't agree on. Many say it's exploitive of women, and others say that outlawing it is oppressive to women. Personally, I think there is nothing inherently wrong with exchanging money for sex, and if it was legal, I can't say I wouldn't hit a brothel in particularly dry dating seasons, but then I've never been a woman, so I can't say what it does to a woman psychologically. I suspect it's like so many other things -- individuals differ. Probably some women can do it and feel empowered, and others feel cheapened as a person. Maybe that stems from religion, maybe not.

4. Pornography. I'm sure there's some really exploitive porn out there, but the simple fact is, people like looking at other people having sex. Mostly men, but there are plenty of women who dig it, too. I can't think of anything wrong with it, and in fact, I think it's probably fairly healthy to indulge in a little creative fantasizing from time to time. There are also plenty of people who get off on being seen, so it's a good way for the exhibitionists of the world to get their jollies.

5. Age of consent. I don't know at what age people are magically old enough to have sex. I do know it changes as cultures change. Realistically, I think it varies from person to person, but based on what our culture is like now, I can't imagine too many people under the age of 16 who are capable of making a "grown up" decision. More likely, most people are probably 17 or 18 before they are ready. Also, age difference has a lot to do with it. A 15 year old and a 16 year old are on a level playing field, but a 17 year old and a 45 year old are not. Ideally, I think for most people, they should wait until they are 18 or 19.

6. Nudity does not warp children's minds. Nor does sex. Pre-pubescent children do not have sexual thoughts, so other than vague curiosity, they don't have any interest in porn. When they're old enough to want to have sex, they're old enough to see it. Calm, factual explanations to questions will leave children with an educated understanding of what they're seeing. I can't imagine why this is anything but healthy.

7. Risque advertising works! What could possibly be wrong with it?

8. Homosexuality is perfectly natural. We see it in so many other animals, why would it be somehow wrong in humans?

9. Topless bars, etc... Refer back to my answers on porn and prostitution.

10. Virginity doesn't mean a damn thing, as far as I can tell. For me, I'd much rather have a partner with some experience.

 

Regarding premarital sex:  Would you buy a car if you hadn't done a test drive?

Regarding age of consent:  I believe that depends totally on the individual.

Regarding promiscuity:  I don't think that sleeping with someone different every night for a year is necessarily an emotionally healthy thing, but if STDs and pregnancy are out of the equation, if two people are willing, why not?  I couldn't do it, but if someone else wants to, it shouldn't be a big deal.

Regarding homosexuality:  Again, it's perfectly natural.  No big deal.

Regarding virginity:  Highly overrated.  (I admit that I do not understand why sleeping with a virgin would be a goal.)

Regarding nudity/sex on TV and in movies:  Depends on how it portrayed.

Regarding pornography:  For adults, no big deal.  I'm not impressed by it, but I know people that think it's fun.  No big deal as long as it's consenting adults making the porn.

Regarding risque advertising:  Sex definitely sells.  However, I think the products/advertising should not be aimed at minors.

Regarding prostitution:  If a person chooses to go into that line of work (think Nevada and the Mustang Ranch), what's the big deal? 

Love it.  I don't think this as a problem, I think it helps marriages because you know before hand if someone is sexually compatable

In general no, but if in a commited relationship, it's mean and hurtful to be promiscuous.  If both sides know and are fine with it, go for it.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with this.  There are a lot of people out there who have a hard time finding a partner, due to physical/social/phycological reasons and there is a need for this service.  It should be regulated to ensure the health of both parties though.

Same as prostitution except the whole regulated for health reasons part, not needed. 

I like the age of consent now because it attempts to discourage child abuse.  I don't like the age of consent now because when I was 16 I had a 22 year old boyfriend, and that just made me mad that he could go to jail.  Now I look back and I was too young!

I personally think it's used to often sometimes.  I'm ok with it as long as we have those ratings so we know before hand

This I don't like.  If I'm going to buy something, it's because I like the product, not the nipples I saw on the commercials

Love it!

I dont' go to them but I have no problem with someone else going.

It's an individual choice.  I personally won't sleep with a virgin ever again. They are WAY to quick on the draw (men) and way too clingy(women)

Actually he said he wanted non-theists to answer so I think your cool.

Great question!

1. Pre-marital sex - Required for any real possibiity of a happy marriage later.

2. Is being promiscuous a bad thing? Remove STD's from the equation. - I think that promiscuity is ultimately unsatisfying to people and I think that is because it is in our nature to want to seek a semi-permanent mate. Therefore, a person who goes on and on being promiscuous and never landing in a relationship is a) unhappy and b) struggling with other issues that are preventing him/her from entering a relationship. So promiscuity is bad psychologically but morally neutral.

3. Prostitution. - Pretty damaging psychologically. The emotional component of sex is important for most women, so tearing the two apart most of the time can leave a lot of difficulty in feeling and responding normally when she's having "real" sex. Plus, prostitution can't help but give her a very low opinion of men and make it hard to feel she can trust them. Lastly, there is a blow to the self-esteem, because she's going to feel that all she has to offer is sex and that that is all that men, any men, want from her. Morally, she is only hurting herself, so it's her biz. The john, however, might want to question whether he should be participating in something so damaging to the woman.

4. Pornography. - Same difficulties as prostitution.

5. Age of consent, i.e. at what age is it ok to start with the hanky panky? - Our bodies know. Sexual maturity, whenever that happens. However, a very important consideration is that the hanky panky must not be occuring between kids who are too far apart in age. I'd say a one year difference in the first year, add a year for every year after that.

6. Nudity/sex in tv/movies and does this warp our children's minds? - No, if it is infrequent. However, having sexy stuff on TV all the time creates an inappropriate atmosphere in the home where kids might get the idea that sex is not the private and intimate thing that it is. This could probably lead to some damaging behaviour in later life, like excessive promiscuity.

7. Risque advertising. - Ads aren't explicit enough to cause a problem. The soft-core sex in ads will go right over the heads of any kids who aren't old enough to be thinking about sex anyway.

8. Homosexuality/lesbianism - All good.

9. Topless bars/Beefcake bars - Fun for the whole family. Possibly demeaning for the girls working there, though.

10. Virginity, does it matter? - Sure, to the virgin. She's going to want a guy that she can trust to be considerate. He's going to want a girl that will hold still long enough.

 

Agree for reasons already stated above.

Only if it's affecting the person in a negative way.

Cheating is wrong. It's the lying part I resent the most. I resent how if you are friends or aquantied with people who are cheating they expect you to lie for them or to keep quiet about their wrong-doings. Way to make me feel shitty about my ethics.

Agree for reasons already stated above.

Yeah, can you imagine that was the only negotiating tool women had for centuries? That fucken sucks. I think some men hate that women have this power. When there are truely equal rights, then maybe this wouldn't have to be done so often or/and as a last resort in my ideal.

My advice: Be a business person about it. Learn how to do that with education. Go to the library to find that education. Good Luck!

Agree with opinions already stated above.

I wonder how much more stressful it would be if we didn't have it. I can see a lot of people being more agressive then need be. I think we might need it.

Well, I guess for most folks it does happen around 13 and 14. But I still feel uncomfortable with that. I know they are doing it but I really don't want to know about it, you know? It's okay if they do it safely and keep it to themselves if they know me.

And I don't want to see an 18 year old with a 13 year old. In my dictatorship it would be that 18 is the age of consent for adults to have sex only with other adults who are 18 and/or over. Young people will be ready when they decide it is.

But in the mean time don't impose on them (don't pressure them or tell them it's wrong or any of that gay crap, etc..) and DO NOT ABUSE them. Priests, I cannot stress this enough to you especially.

Give them a break. Give them their needed time to mature on their own. They deserve it.

Maybe. I think one of the reasons why humans have developed a strong avertion to gore was for a stragegy of many that helped preserve ethics. I don't know. But ultimatly, it depends on the kid. Be a responsible parent and guide them apporpriatly (pay attention to what they are watching).

When filpping through channels, it can be a rollercoaster ride of emotional repsonses. From sex (hmmm?), to death (cry), to basketball (excitment), to an evangelist preacher (yikes), to the shopping channel (hrmmm...), to detailed brain surgery using scary tools (holy shit), to Robot Chicken (thank goodness for laughter!), to exploring underwater sealife (wow)... for like 75 channels has got to be doing something.

Yeah, can you believe it still works? Well, it's good for those who can't afford real porn and when you don't have a better idea.

Who cares?

This is the biggest distraction from addressing real politics and issues in the US. That and Anna Nicole. And American Idol. I resent it for that reason but more importantly for making peopl, especially young people, feel bad about themselves for no good reason. That's mean. They are so undeserving of all that scorn. They're kids. Leave them alone.

Like I said, be a business person about it. Save and invest your money. Put some away for retirement. Enjoy sharing some of it. Good Luck!

Over fucken rated IMHO. They totally suck in the sack! They have so little experience!

The idea of marriage, monogomy, and life long commitment when it comes to the idea of "love" are notions that I find absent of logic. So pre-marital sex is not a term I find valid.  

Not at all. The only harm that comes from promiscuity is from the backlash of a society that despises it. Also, internal confusion of the mental and emotional variety come from training by a society that despises promiscuity.

We have created the idea of monogomay due to religious trappings. If our preconceived notions on the matter didn't exist we would see no reason whatsoever to condemn promiscuity or to demand monogomy or life long commitment when it comes to "love" 

We think it is wrong because that is what we have been taught. Many find it repulsive because of the idea that to sell your body you are cheapening your "worth". This cannot stand as an argument. There are plenty of occupations that encourage / require the sale of dignity, the image of our bodies, the use of our bodies etc that are considered "normal".

The assertion that a person has an inherent "worth" is pointless to begin with. Void of fear of how our society views us, we assign our own worth and I promote that our view of ourselves would be much more positive without such oppressive influence.  

Same idea as prostitution.  

We have to protect children from harm without treating them like they are little helpless eggs that must be coddled until they're X years old. The idea that a person is not capable of making their own decisions based on age is tricky. I generally consider a person capable of making their own decisions when they decide that they want to.  

We have fear of this idea because they are almost assuredly going to make mistakes. However, I do not see mistakes as a bad thing. Even horrific mistakes that change our outlooks forever. It is just life, and fear of life is not a worthwhile approach to it.  

"warp childrens minds" is purely a function of the preconceived notions produced by our society. For a people that have never seen it necessary to be modest, nudity on TV would have no affect whatsoever.

In our society, however, a child who does not fear nudity would be seen as "warped" and would be treated as such. It is not the existance of nudity or the child that makes it wrong, it is a decision of society.  

I have no more of an opinion on homosexuality than I do on heterosexuality. I'm sure one could come up with reasons for both of them but I find the topic pretty irrelivant.  

Back to the topic of social perception. Obviously there is nothing wrong with seeing a breast or penis. Only a dolt would think that there is actually something wrong with the flesh itself.  

Not remotely. Who could care. Sex is a biological function and we're hung up on it because that's how we're trained to behave.  

    Sex is a perfectually natural and fun experience that is a good workout and brings two people closer together.  Why is this even an issue? 

    Promiscuity is actually a good thing from an evolutionary standpoint.  It makes sure that the best genes are spread around more than the bad ones.  This is much more helpful of course for species that live in packs because then everyone helps to raise the young.  Humans just don't live in such a way anymore so it doesn't make sence for us to have kids with as many different people as possible.

    Looking at it from a pure sexual encounter perspective, what's wrong with it?  As long as your practicing safe sex in order to reduce unwanted pregnancies and STDs then who cares how many people you are sleeping with? 

    Why is it illegal to sell something that's free to give away?  I have yet to hear a good reason why prostitution should be illegal. 

    What's wrong with admiring another human's body?  As long as you aren't exploiting children I don't see why there would be any problems here. 

    Why should there be a legal age?  Parents should be teaching their children how to make good smart decisions. This is a topic that should be taken on a case by case basis which is something that the government should really not have a hand in.

    I haven't read any studies on the effect of kids minds from seeing nudity/sex but I can't imagine that it would have a very negative affect if negative at all.  Again, it comes down to the parenting.  Nudity, Language, and Sex should all be allowed on every channel.  Leave it up to the parents to decide what their kids can watch, and when they are ready for explicit material.

    What's the issue here?  I would say no advertising with explicit material in public (billboards, buildings), but beyond that (TV commercials, magazine ads), anything goes.

    Last I checked there was a genetic component to sexual orientation.  What's the difference between two consulting males/females and a conseting heterosexual couple? 

    Again, why would there be an issue here? 

    Go sleep with a virgin, and then with someone who has experience.  You tell me

1. Pre-marital sex.

I see marriage as just a certficat anyway so it would be stupid for it not to be ok.

2. Is being promiscuous a bad thing? Remove STD's from the equation.

I think it's entirely a personal thing. Each person is different when it comes to this question. 

 

3. Prostitution.

Same with #2.

4. Pornography.

According to Freud, looking at pornography would be a way to fulfil id impulses so no problem with looking at it, and as some have already mention there are exhibtionists who love making porn.

5. Age of consent, i.e. at what age is it ok to start with the hanky panky?

Depends on the person but i don't even think we should say "ok to start hanky panky". When ever the child wants to start is when its ok to start.

6. Nudity/sex in tv/movies and does this warp our children's minds?

IMO it does not in anyway. Nudity espcially. Sex maybe is debateable

7. Risque advertising.

I think with this parents are projecting how 

8. Homosexuality/lesbianism

 Competely natural some have even proposed that its a evolutionary way for population control.

9. Topless bars/Beefcake bars

yea same as 4

10. Virginity, does it matter?

Why should it matter?

I agree, but only in so far as I agree that we are socially programed to believe that it is inappropriate and that we are doing something wrong. 

How do you mean? Can you think of an example?

Good post. 

 

I agree...very well put.

 

-HCG

 

Excellent point.

 

 

*WARNING - Shameless pimping of my all-time favorite TV show follows *

Rent the series "Firefly".  It takes place 500 years in the future, where being a "Companion" (Courtesan) is considered to be a highly respectable profession.  (Well, except to people like Mal... :^) )

It got cancelled in 2002 after only 11 episodes thanks to FOX's efforts to sabotage the show by airing the episodes out of order (they aired the two-hour pilot last), preempting the show with baseball, and a crappy marketing effort.

The fans did rally and got the movie "Serenity" made in 2005.  If you like Firefly, be sure to rent "Serenity" also.  The genre is Sci-Fi/Western, but most fans agree that the setting and plots had nothing to do with why they fell in love with the show.  It's the great characters and witty dialog that getcha. 

End of Firefly pimping.  :^)

-HCG

I find that every day I identify more and more emotions and knee jerk reactions that I find wholely inappropriate. Most of them apply to sex in some way or another, which is interesting. I presume that's because we are such a sexually repressed people. I hope to be able to throw off the shackles of what current society considers moral but it's so difficult. 

Even knowing that my moral standards are created by cruel tyrants (government) and hateful phsycopaths (religious leaders) I still can't seem to shake some of them. I'll keep working at it. 

Ooh, I just looked at my queue on netflix and saw I'm recieving "The God Who Wasn't There" tomorrow!  Has nothing to do with this topic, but yeah.

There you go again, making me blush.  :P 

In my opinion the problem with prostitution is that it is even possible. Prostitution is a viable economic alternative for almost any woman because women are viewed sexually in the public sphere and men are not.

There is this myth that when you leave the private sphere and enter the public sphere you leave behind everything that defined you in your personal life and you should be judged solely on your performance in the public sphere. But the only things you leave in the private sphere are things that are actually private and unknown to others, and your gender isn’t one of those.

So, I think that if you want to can talk about prostitution and low self esteem it may be better to look at the attitudes that make prostitution possible than the way society devalues sex workers.

ah, "the sex." wonderful what society's done to it. taken something great and gotten people to be afraid of and disgusted by it. 

 

i'm not going to list and respond to all the points, i think they've been covered quite well. but i would like to address the question of whether nudity and sex on the television warp children's minds. i say no. i don't find that it is seeing nudity or sex that warps kids' minds, but the mystique that we place around sex as a society. we want to "protect" kids from sex, but we do them a disservice. we need to address sex in a frank and honest way with kids. none of this hush hush nonsense. strip away the mystery from sex. we spend too much time making sex into something it's not. whether we make it out to be evil/dirty/etc. as theists often do, or we shroud it in secrecy by not talking about it. kids' first exposures to sex and nudity shouldn't be from the television to begin with. anyway, that's my two cents on that. but i won't be having kids to experiment these ideas on. lol. maybe i'll experiment on my niece. although she's being raised xian, so she'll probably be taught that sex is, for the most part, wrong. like i was. screwed me up big time. wish someone had been frank and honest with me about sex. 

I'm a fan of Scott Church. He's my favorite photographer in the entire world.

http://scottchurch.livejournal.com

Sure. It 'looks' like porn, but in an 'artsy' way.

Whenever I get to Philly, I'm going to buy a session of photos for posterity's sake. lol. 

1: Sure

2: If you're in a monogamous relationship where your partner isn't OK with you sleeping around, no. If you don't want your partner to sleep around, no. Otherwise, do as thou wilst.

3: As long as it's regulated so that the prostitutes get a fair share of the money (no pimps stealing it all) and they're prevented from working if they have any STIs, and protected from them (that is, people who have STIs can't go to clean prostitutes) then sure.

 4: Yes, assuming it's all consentual and no kids are involved. However, really gross or weird shit should be legal but socially unacceptable.

5: 16, though I wouldn't personally touch someone who wasn't out of high school.

 6: Someone young enough, possibly. I don't know, to be honest.

 7: Depends.

 8: If it's consentual, sure.

 9: I'm going to give a strong "maybe" on this.

10: Not much. It just means you haven't had sex, therefore have no experience.