Noah's arc.....too funny
Offline Ok, this kinda left me at a lost for words.....I was over on theologyonline.com (I am starting to loath that place, but I go to try and give atheists good representation) and there was a thread on Noah's arc, and how could we have various "races" of people if the arc story is true (since its in the bible). Here is what I posted, I think you will have the same reaction I did when you see one theist's response.....
me: The story of Noah's arc (which was taken from many other religions) completely leaves out the question of plant life too. The story mentions nothing of Noah or his family taking seeds from every plant in the world onto the arc too. If god flooded the entire world and murdered all of humanity just because he didn't like then, plants would have died too. And about them repopulating the world by making babies, if only Noah's family survived, that would mean the sibblings would of had to had sex. I don't think god likes incest too much. Plus, it is as fact that after time, genetic defects start to arise as a result of too much inbreeding. It is also interesting to note that the only reason the people who wrote the bible 2000 years ago thought the world was 4000 years old (making it 6000 today) was that written records suddenly cease around 4000 BC. Thats becuase it was around that time that humans first developed writings. We were around a long long time before that, but to the writers of the bible, it seemed like we weren't. Also, if the flood happened around 2000 BC, how come the records of all the world's major civilizations continue uninterrupted? You'd think if god killed all of humanity except 1 family, then the Egyptians and others wouldn't have been around to write anything.
And the xtian response:
they say plants maybe floated on floaty bits. And seeds maybe blew around, and survived in the submerged Earth, and also floated on some floaty bits. Then, when the flood was over, the plants and seeds went about their business. I think they say insects may have floated on the floaty bits as well. Maybe even some smallish lizards or whatnot.Maybe some life forms holed up in the belly of a whale. Hard to say. If I didn't have access to something like say, a boat the size of a couple of football fields, I might head for the belly of a whale.
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I have heard many answers.
God wished the plants back.
Plants back then must have been waterproof.
Plankton hyper evolved into new trees.
Through divine intervention,metabolic processes were halted
so nothing needed to eat until the plants grew back.
God kept their tummies full until vegetation regrew.
The ark was made of bamboo,so after the flood receded,the plan eaters ate the ark(I think that one was supposed to be a joke?,i thought it was funny,because this person also claimed
that was why the ark hasnt been found)
On the incest issue,Ive heard since Noah and family were spared,they must have been without sin,and without sin genetic mutations dont occur.
Ive read/heard many other explanations for this stuff,but these must be the best ones,since they were the easier to remember.
"Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions."--Frater Ravus
My question to xtians always is:
Why have an ark? GOD made all the stuff up once, why not just do it again. What? Was he just too damn sick and tired of doing all the hard work? And why not wish up a boat? Was he just being sadistic that day? "Hmmm. I'm bored. Maybe I'll screw with Noah. Have him build a big ass boat or something."
http://smartasses.org
Boy, I'm tired of stupid people.
- There are estimates of between 5-30 million species living on earth. How could you possibly know of each of them ? How could you gather them all? Where would they fit on this boat? How would they breathe ?
- A huge portion of these species absolutely cannot survive outside their own narrow ecosystem. How did you refrigerate the polar bear and heat up the monitor lizard ?
- Many of these species lived on continents that were completely unknown to noah and his goofball family. How did those animals survive ?
- Most if not all freshwater species of fish/animals would have died in the saltwater unless you brought them on board the boat and put them in freshwater tanks. Where'd they get the tanks ? The huge amount of room needed for these tanks? The little colored plastic divers w/ bubbles coming out their mouths ?
- How the %^%$^% did you re-distribute these freshwater species back to their own little ponds, lakes, rivers ?
"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
George Orwell
Because then it would have made a shitty story.
AHHH the response the Xtian gave you sounded like it came from a 2 year old. WtF did he honestly say that bugs and plants somehow Hitchhiked their way into the belly of a whale. Wtf you don't get much stupidier than that. I mean i must of read that wrong, how could you think that insects and seeds magically climed their way through the mouths and into the belly of a whale without getting digested and even if that was somehow retardly true then how could the seeds re-distribute themselves throughout the world. That response makes me loose all hope for our future generations of kids.
Oh yeah, for the 5 min i was on the theologyonline.com forums I felt like my IQ was dropping by 10 points every second.
Sorry for all the typo's, the xtian response made me angry with rage.
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Side effects include possible deconversion, rational thought, and the lack of fear in the easter bunny.
Well, the whole thing started becuase people were doing things god didn't want them to.
so the better question is, "Why didn't god tell them to cut it out, and save the trouble of it all?" Not to mention, avoid killing thousands of innocent people, animals, and plants.
But that wouldn't be much fun, would it?
"Different races" what a load of crap!
Noah magically had hippos submit to him, witout any training. Hippos are more deadly than aligator sin africa. But somehow "God did it". Lets not forget the black widdows, and dart frogs, and king cobras and scorpians, that somehow "because of God's will" without any expliation in the babble, "Just happened".
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Rather than try to pawn off the "floaty things" argument, (Not the first time I've heard this, by the way) a belief in a god gives them an EASY way out.
After the flood, god "poofed" everything back into existence. "Poof", problem solved...and it's god, so he can DO IT.
The added bonus of the "Poof" theory is that most rational and educated people you're discussing this with will probably end the conversation, giving you a feeling of winning the debate! lol
Well, I guess if "god of the gaps" makes sense for some, "god of the floaty things" would make sense, too.
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