Patience
I recently posted a blog regarding Atheist comaraderie and how within the atheist community there are many different personalities, walks of life and viewpoints. With that said I must admit a moment of hypocricy as my patience ran thin recently with a newcomer to the Stickam chatroom.
The man came in and after immediately jumping on cam, began to talk over a few others in the room. Now of course, that is just bad 'netiquette' so I asked him what brought him into an atheist chatroom. The conversation continued, it was a bit hard to understand him but English is not his native tongue so I went with it.
As the chatroom participants began other conversations within the room the newbie tried to demand attention through text regarding his story of being kicked out of a major atheist forum. I engaged him and he PM'd me the story. As hard as the story was to follow, I got the point which was, he was banned from the forum due to innappropriate behavior. The inappropriate behavior involved a 14 year old girl (a hot button for me...again, diverse thought processes and opinions) I asked him what he said and he told me. I found it to be quite inappropriate myself ,especially since the inappropriate conduct was via a private message to the girl. He ended his PM with me, saying something about my physical appearance...which at that point, I felt was a bit odd and made me angry.
Later in the day I was chatting with another member of the room when she told me he was PM'ing her and she felt uncomfortable. I assured her that he probably meant no harm but to let me know if it happens again. At this point I am REALLY mad...this guys says he is an atheist, but as all of us are told "be careful, some people pose as atheists just to enter the community" so my thought was: is this guy posing as an atheist just so he can come get his rocks off with the females in the community?
Long story short, the man was able to tell his story to several within the community and through the entire community, his story became clearer to me and a few things, including his struggle with using the english language (no fault of his), got me thinking which initiated this blog.
I will end this by saying I failed to be patient with this man. Whether it was due to the communication gap or my strongly held opinions regarding the 'proper' usage of Private messaging it doesn't matter. It shows just how situations can trigger emotions that can impair our ability to think clearly. Another lesson to take from this: A community coming together for better understanding can be more effective then one single person 
-Renee
Slowly building a blog at ~
- Renee Obsidianwords's blog
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Nice post Renee. I
Nice post Renee. I thought you had a bad vibe from him as I was introduced to the situation but I didn't want to make you feel like you were rushing to the wrong conclusion. At that point I was still unsure myself of what his true character would be. And even now I think it's always good to have a healthy sense of skepticism. To be honest, had I been unaware of the similar bannings of other people from the same site I would have been thinking exactly what you were thinking. I don't see how you could've come to a different conclusion, I wouldn't be hard on yourself and call it impatience.
I happened to have data that gave us reason to defend his story, data that admittedly most people don't have. His profile and character were one we all would typically question around here and it's due to a healthy dose of skepticism, I'm glad you have it.
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What a Creep
I have to agree with Brian. There are some creeps on the internet.
And at the risk of sounding like too much of a tree-hugger, I think us dudes sometimes don't understand how common sexual harassment is for the ladies.
Especially when you have the courage to proclaim your contreversial views on public places on the internet.
Its the wild,wild, west out here.
You rock Renee, it doesn't sound like that guy had a personality misunderstanding, he sounds like he had a personality disorder.
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G'day Renee
Don't feel bad if your instincts and events tell you someone may be a dubious person. What they say and do is all you've got to go on. Granted, lack of skill using English could / should see some slack allowed, but if the "errors" are consistently inappropriate, you may have a "Borat"-like loon who "accidentally" saying outrageous things for his / her own gratification. You can feel comfortable making the call as and when you see fit. At the same time, always be ready to reconsider in the light of significant new information. The BS-ometer we all run isn't perfect, but it's all we've got to aid us in avoiding time-wasting jerks.