Home » Blogs » Renee Obsidianwords's blog

Seeing the sunshine through a cloud of pain

Renee Obsidianwords's picture
Submitted by Renee Obsidianwords on January 18, 2009 - 12:45pm.

There has never been a time in my life that I have been called negative. Not to say that I have never had negative thoughts (I think we all have those) more to the point there is this undying tendency with me to make even the stinkiest pile of shit seem like a rose bush. I will write a blog about how this positivity has effected my work life at a later time. For now sharing an example of how this positivity has been important in a certain aspect of my life is what I want to share.

***********

I have 2 herniated discs (L3-4  and L4-5) degenerative disc disease and osteoarthritis of the spine. This was all discovered in 2005 after weeks of horrible back pain. My doctor exclaimed:  “You have the back of a 60 year old!” I laughed and after months of physical therapy I was rid of the worst of the pain.

Most of the time the pain is just a dull ache. It starts in my back and travels down my leg, quite an annoyance. I cope. The coping is actually pretty easy; a bit of stretching, some meditation, a warm bath, a few ibuprofen and a smile in the mirror with a thought that it will be a good day.

Other times the pain becomes sharp and stabbing, almost sweet it is so pure. These particular instances can come without warning and almost always lays me up for a few days. Today I write this confined to my bed in pain from a fall I took in my garage on Friday. I truly wish I had a video of me falling down! I imagine what I think it looked like and giggle.   Smiling

Coping with this type of pain is a bit harder as even the smallest of movements is out of the question. I have vicodin but don’t want to use it for fear of creating a dependency for it. So, I ride it out, enjoying the help I receive from my husband waiting on me hand and foot, all the while keeping that soon to come ‘day with less pain’ as my motivation for tolerating the situation. The sun will rise and the pain will lift!

My positive attitude HAS helped me to deal with many aspects of my life. Knowing that I can count on myself to get through lifes' little piles of shit makes me feel strong and in control. Does that make me a control freak or delusional? 

Some questions/thoughts -

How do pessimists handle these types of situations? Do they bare their teeth and muscle their way through. What motivates them to pull themselves up and through the roadblocks.

Slowly building a blog at ~

http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/

»

Right on, Renee.  I, too,

Submitted by PorkChop on January 18, 2009 - 3:55pm.

Right on, Renee.  I, too, am a positive individual that choses to surround herself with others of the same persuasion.

I see negative folks all the time...co-workers, past friends, and folks that I try to help see the positive side of things.  I have actually had to cut friends from my life because of their near-constant negativity.  I just can't take it.

Now...don't get me wrong...I have times of negativity myself, but I'm exTREMEly conscious of that and try to nip thoughts like that right in the bud whenever they arise.  It's easier and less frequent all the time.

To answer your question, negative folks spiral down through bad situations and just make it worse, from what I've seen.  They feed the negativity and then somehow come back to their original place in the spectrum of neg-pos.

Keep on truckin', Renee.  I wish for you a new and improved back!

My dad has horrid back

Submitted by Sage_Override on January 18, 2009 - 4:10pm.

My dad has horrid back problems and smoked pot a lot when I was in high school.  He's one of those big, muscled army guys and helping him with his back at times, as big as even I am, is kind of funny.  My mom never had any problems like that, but she had carpal tunnel in her hand really bad. 

 

There was other sporadic medical situations with them.  Myself, I've never had stitches, surgery or any type of emergency so, I was taking care of my parents everytime something happened since our family is as tiny as it comes, but my parents coped with the craziest shit life has had to throw them and are incredibly resilient.  My dad is Lutheran, but hates everything and everyone and my mom really is odd because she's not really religious, but not an atheist, agnostic, wiccan or anything like that.  She just kind of exists, I suppose.    

 

Anyway, I suppose people cope in different ways through experiences that shaped their behavior in their lives whether it's religious or not.  Of course, there are just some things that you just can't cope with no matter how hard you try. 

Renee Obsidianwords wrote:My

Submitted by anniet on January 18, 2009 - 4:11pm.

Renee Obsidianwords wrote:


My positive attitude HAS helped me to deal with many aspects of my life. Knowing that I can count on myself to get through lifes' little piles of shit makes me feel strong and in control. Does that make me a control freak or delusional? 

I think it makes you a rational human.  Smiling  I'm glad to hear you are able to stay positive through this.  That is a pretty big accomplishment.  It's hard to see the bright side of life when in pain and unable to move freely.

 

"I am that I am." - Proof that the writers of the bible were beyond stoned.

JillSwift's picture

Renee Obsidianwords wrote:I

Submitted by JillSwift on January 18, 2009 - 6:37pm.

Renee Obsidianwords wrote:
I imagine what I think it looked like and giggle.   Smiling
I envy you that skill, and applaud you for your outlook!


 

"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray

darth_josh's picture

Renee Obsidianwords

Submitted by darth_josh on January 18, 2009 - 9:28pm.

Renee Obsidianwords wrote:

How do pessimists handle these types of situations? Do they bare their teeth and muscle their way through. What motivates them to pull themselves up and through the roadblocks.

 

For me, it is because the converse of just giving up has yet to be the best option.

 

You think your fall was funny. You should see me hike with a knee wrapped and no walking stick.

Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server, which houses Celebrity Atheists.

Renee Obsidianwords's picture

PorkChop wrote:Right on,

Submitted by Renee Obsidianwords on January 20, 2009 - 7:54am.

PorkChop wrote:

Right on, Renee.  I, too, am a positive individual that choses to surround herself with others of the same persuasion.

I see negative folks all the time...co-workers, past friends, and folks that I try to help see the positive side of things.  I have actually had to cut friends from my life because of their near-constant negativity.  I just can't take it.

Now...don't get me wrong...I have times of negativity myself, but I'm exTREMEly conscious of that and try to nip thoughts like that right in the bud whenever they arise.  It's easier and less frequent all the time.

To answer your question, negative folks spiral down through bad situations and just make it worse, from what I've seen.  They feed the negativity and then somehow come back to their original place in the spectrum of neg-pos.

Keep on truckin', Renee.  I wish for you a new and improved back!

I have totally 'fired' friends for being negative nellies too! I will say though, my husband and I are total opposites - he is a pessimist 100%...I guess opposites DO attract. He is about all i can take though which is why my friends must be just like me  LOL

Thanks for the encouragement!

Slowly building a blog at ~

http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/

Renee Obsidianwords's picture

Sage_Override wrote:My dad

Submitted by Renee Obsidianwords on January 20, 2009 - 8:00am.

Sage_Override wrote:

My dad has horrid back problems and smoked pot a lot when I was in high school.  He's one of those big, muscled army guys and helping him with his back at times, as big as even I am, is kind of funny.  My mom never had any problems like that, but she had carpal tunnel in her hand really bad. 

 

There was other sporadic medical situations with them.  Myself, I've never had stitches, surgery or any type of emergency so, I was taking care of my parents everytime something happened since our family is as tiny as it comes, but my parents coped with the craziest shit life has had to throw them and are incredibly resilient.  My dad is Lutheran, but hates everything and everyone and my mom really is odd because she's not really religious, but not an atheist, agnostic, wiccan or anything like that.  She just kind of exists, I suppose.    

 

Anyway, I suppose people cope in different ways through experiences that shaped their behavior in their lives whether it's religious or not.  Of course, there are just some things that you just can't cope with no matter how hard you try. 

Thanks for your thoughts sage. What would be a thing a person just can't cope with...? I am a 'solver' ... I tend to try to solve every problem or try to come up with solutions to every problem.

Slowly building a blog at ~

http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/

Renee Obsidianwords's picture

anniet wrote:Renee

Submitted by Renee Obsidianwords on January 20, 2009 - 8:01am.

anniet wrote:

Renee Obsidianwords wrote:


My positive attitude HAS helped me to deal with many aspects of my life. Knowing that I can count on myself to get through lifes' little piles of shit makes me feel strong and in control. Does that make me a control freak or delusional? 

I think it makes you a rational human.  Smiling  I'm glad to hear you are able to stay positive through this.  That is a pretty big accomplishment.  It's hard to see the bright side of life when in pain and unable to move freely.

 

Thanks Annie!  OH BTW  I am up and walking around   Smiling

Slowly building a blog at ~

http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/

Quote:Thanks for your

Submitted by Sage_Override on January 20, 2009 - 6:57pm.

Quote:
Thanks for your thoughts sage. What would be a thing a person just can't cope with...? I am a 'solver' ... I tend to try to solve every problem or try to come up with solutions to every problem.

 

Well, being raped might be a permanent scar that you never really recover from.  You can't really solve that.  Some people channel their problems through their beliefs and sometimes it makes things worse and very confusing.  Most of the time, it's never fully resolved. 

 

Surviving a murder attempt, watching someone be killed violently and being powerless and wanting revenge, but never getting it.  Those are types of situations in which no amount of therapy or medication will ever fully heal and trying to piece together a resolution becomes moot.

 

I'm just glad you have a problem in which you can more easily overcome and eventually deal with.