For the Bitches [Trollville]
Offline Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men.
It was laid out in five floors, with men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was that once you opened a door to a new floor, you either had to choose a man from that floor, or ascend to the next floor. You could not go back down a floor, except to leave the store, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the store to find a husband each.
First floor.
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign saying, "Well that's better than not having a job and not loving kids, but I wonder what's up further?" So up they went.
Second floor.
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor.
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.
Fourth floor.
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor.
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs."
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I'm going to pretend that I'm offended by such a sexist joke, and by the title of the thread...
but that's funny.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
How many guys does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be open when she brings it to him
I actually picked the title becuase it seems to me most women are bitches. I have a question to for all of them - theist or atheist:
Why is it you prefer a guy who is an asshole and below normal intelligence, but has 6-pack abs, is especially outgoing and/or drives an expensive car to a nice guy who is intelligent, isn't in good shap, is shy and doesn't have much money? From what I've seen the vast majority of women see a nice guy as at best friends material.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Ladies and gentlemen. A pimp with no game.
Now I'll NEVER fuck you!
Because sexual selection is dictated by the fact that the alleles that are most likely to propogate in a gene pool are those with the most fitness in an environment. Sexual selection is therefore based on the principle that any member of a species will select their mate on the basis of some external characteristic which indicates that said mate has alleles that are more adept at surviving in the gene pool, and have more likelihood of passing on your genes in the form of offspring. Being "in shape" is indicative of increased a) reproductive fitness and b) ability to ensure the survival of genetic material.
At any rate, why would you hold physical attractiveness and intelligence to be mutually exclusive categories?
"Physical reality” isn’t some arbitrary demarcation. It is defined in terms of what we can systematically investigate, directly or not, by means of our senses. It is preposterous to assert that the process of systematic scientific reasoning arbitrarily excludes “non-physical explanations” because the very notion of “non-physical explanation” is contradictory.
-Me
Books about atheism
And let's not forget, it also indicates:
1) motivation
2) perseverence
3) Enough free time and money to join a gym
and... if we want to get really crazy, it might also indicate:
4) freedom from disease/parasites. (Have you ever seen a guy with a tapeworm try to do squats?)
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Matt, I have to ask:
What the Hell is your problem, man?
Why are 'most women are bitches'? Why do they all prefer guys who treat them poorly and are stupid, but are attractive looking?
You realize that these questions are mysogynistic, right? Yes, there are some people that fall into the trap of accepting abusive or unhealthy relationships with people based on rather poor criteria, and yes, there are some wonderfully decent human beings who rarely (if ever) get the chance to enjoy an intimate relationship because of unfortunate circumstances and the general unfairness of reality.
So you feel you should blame this on women?
Matt, if you really thrist for companionship but can't find it because of your appearance and/or social circumstances, I can empathize. It's pretty rough sometimes. But guess what? You and I are in an EXTREMELY priveleged position in one of the most affluent regions of our planet, so singing about all the woe and unfairness in our lives is largely nonsensical - and blaming our problems on whatever arbitrary force? That's rather disgusting.
Women have every right to date womever they want, based on whatever criteria. If we don't fit inside that criteria more often than not, Matt, tough beans. Things are what they are, and women are hardly 'bitches' because they want to date affluent, fit and entertaining men more than they do those than rest on the opposite ends of the given spectrums.
Let me ask you: Are you more physically attracted to someone who is a drop-dead gorgeous bombshell but never quite has the lights on upstairs than you are to someone who is very articulate and kind but is also a 250 lb slob?
Since I know the answer is 'yes' already, why is that? Is it because you're a real asshole? Or is it because you're a human being, with all of your own unfair preferences about various things in the world?
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
That's not true. I'm a nice guy of above-average intelligence, I'm not in great shape, I'm slightly introverted, I drive a shitty car, and I'm perpetually broke, yet I still--
wait, I haven't been laid in like a year.
WHAT THE--
Thank you DG... 200+ posts in that damn "hot chicks" thread a couple weeks back, and nobody learned anything. Glad to know my time wasn't totally wasted...
I'm pretty sure this is the basis for what my roommate calls "game". The idea is that if you make a girl think you're unobtainable, she instantly thinks "I have to have him". If this is the case, then my first question is "Why are girls dumb like this?", but that's probably something I'll never figure out.
Well, look on the bright side Matt: you'll always have your cat. So in a sense you already have all the pussy you'll ever need.
Then why aren't you rich in your chosen profession of pimping?
Cheer up. Scientists are working feverishly to develop virtual reality sex. So someday you'll be able to fuck tons of virtual bitches.
Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen
I'm certainly not going to go for a 250 lb woman, but I'd prefer an average looking intelligent woman who would treat me nice to a woman who looks like Greek Goddess for example but is a bimbo and treats me bad (note - GG that's just an example based on your looks - from your posts you are quite intelligent.) And it does seem most women see guys that treat them nicely as only friends and the ones who treat them like shit as boyfriend material. I do see I act kind of like that in the opposite way - if you read my regular posts Carla treats me pretty bad but I keep going back to her - of course I'm desperate enough I'd be with any woman who would have me. I'd rather be with a woman that beats the shit out of me on a daily basis than keeping on being alone. In my case it's way beyond the regular not so successful guy - I'm 34 and still a virgin. I've never been on a date in my life and have never even kissed a woman. But I would do whatever she wanted and treat her like a queen but the assholes can treat her like shit and be way more successful?
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
AW HELL
There have been women interested in me but I either didn't pick up on it or it wasn't appropriate. There were about 3 in college who were really, really hot I was told by others that they wanted me but it was too late then. One actually undressed in front of me after inviting me up to her dorm to study together but I just thought she was a bit open (yes I have absolutely no social skills.) The other 2 would have been even harder to guess. Then there was the married woman a couple years ago at work I did know she was flirting with me, but I wouldn't go for that, even though she was cute. She wound up mad I didn't and hit e so hard I had a bruise on my arm like 2 weeks.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Umm...
hmm...
How to say this politely...
Dude... that goes way beyond no social skills. We gotta seriously consider whether or not you can use the word pimp in reference to yourself ever again. If a girl undresses in front of you at a "study session" and you don't get the hint...
I can't think of anything else to say.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
I'd say try either www.horneymatches.com or
http://virgin.date.com/
You need either a horney woman that will fuck anything or conservative Christian woman that is saving herself for another virgin. Anything else is a waste of time.
Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen
Dude...I am going to take a positive track here and seriously suggest you consider reading up on modern dating rituals, known as "game." I know you have asperger's and that is a huge detractor, but you have seriously created yourself in the stereotypical image of "nice guy who will cowtow to any demand, regardless of the supplication, and dissolution of respect involved." This is fundamentally unattractive to women(asside from a minority into male domination). If they can't respect you, then the idea of fucking you is unattractive. Men who treat woman like shit and get rewarded with hot women, see themselves as a valuable commodity, a prize, rather than the female. The mindset is that she is lucky to have him, not the other way around. I know that you talk as if you are confident in yourself, but your postings on the subject subtly reveal the truth. You don't really like yourself...and if you don't like yourself, why is a woman going to like you. This isn't meant to be mean, but I think you need a paradigm shift, because the situation you have described is a runaway train on the same course, with no possibility of changing tracks, without the deliberate, intentional actions of the engineer. You are that engineer. You may think the external world is creating the problems you are seeing in terms of "women being bimbos and bitches wanting jerks." The fact is that in order to cause tangible effects in the external reality, you must cause profound positive changes in your internal reality. It sounds a bit cliche, but change comes from within. Running down the same path has brought you to where you are now. Obviously, it has not worked or you wouldn't be 34, virgin, etc. You need to change course man.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda
Women are attracted to danger. Now this doesn't mean that you literally have to be in a biker gang or something of that sort, it just means that you can't be totally clean around the edges and expect women to consistently be interested in you. This also doesn't mean that you have to be a total asshole, but as a general rule, you should never appear to be overly interested in a woman (even if you are), and you should never appear to be desperate. Violate these two rules, and you'll be dead in the water every time.
The rules are of course different if your romantic interest is a friend or someone you've been acquainted with for some time--however, this situation has it's own set of rules and inevitable pitfalls. The upside to dating a friend is that you don't have to worry about all that shit I typed in the above paragraph. She already knows you, and if you've shared a great deal with her emotionally, she already knows both how lame and how incredible you are, so there's no use trying to front. There is a certain freedom that comes with this scenario, but be warned: once you cross the line from friend to lover, there is no turning back. Allow me to repeat this with modified text for dramatic effect:
Once you cross the line from friend to lover, there is no turning back. Period. Trust me, I've already made that mistake a few times, and my life is currently a living hell because of it. So only go down this road if you're looking for a long-term commitment, and please be totally sure, or at least as sure as possible that it's what you want to do.
I've found that the best case scenario is dating someone you've been acquainted with for several months, but not especially close with. Ideally it will be someone you worked with or went to school with, but, and this is a huge but, you cannot currently be working or going to school with her. I cannot emphasize this enough. Nothing sucks more than dating a co-worker, breaking up, and having to deal with all the bullshit that comes with that. The beauty of dating an acquaintance is the fact that you won't have to work very hard to impress her--you'll have already achieved a certain level of comfort with her, and that's worth a great deal. Also, there will still be a certain amount of mystery involved, and we all know that the root of sexual attraction is mystery.
From the sound of your post, picking up random women in bars doesn't sound like your calling card, so I'd focus on either a friend or an acquaintance if I were you.
Just a little advice, take it with a grain of salt if you wish.
Also, if a woman brings you to her apartment and then undresses: PEE IN HER BUTT IMMEDIATELY DUDE.
Here's how it really works with men:
The 1st first floor has wives that pretend to love sex. Horny guy takes hottest one he can get. Bitch fucks him, then hires divorce lawyer to really fuck him, takes all his money.
Other floors have never been visited.
Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen
I'm not a big fan of the "game" sites, but I have to admit, I can't think of anything to disagree with in HeyZeus's post. I really have no idea how much the asperger's affects your ability to recognize flirting, but it's definitely time you adjust your attitude if you want to avoid being a 40 year old virgin.
Zeus is right. Women don't want to fuck men they don't respect, and the thing that women find most attractive (in a lot of cases) is self-respect. I know it's a chicken and egg kind of thing -- self respect comes from achievement, and it's kind of hard to achieve without self-respect -- but there's a point where you just have to realize that IF you're going to find someone, you're going to have to put yourself out there and try to find someone.
Frankly, Matt, you're not in much of a position to talk about all the girls you're not interested in. You have no idea because you've got no frame of reference. I would suggest that it might be time to really examine your feelings. Are you rejecting so many women out of hand because they're not worthy to date a working class guy with asperger's syndrome, or is it possibly that you're afraid of them rejecting you?
I am also going to chime in with the people defending women who like... well... likable men. It isn't all about six-pack abs, but all things being equal, six-packs are going to win over beer guts. If what you're offering is "Hi. I'm Matt. I don't like myself. I'm a 34 year old virgin. Women are bitches. Want to love me?" Well... it's not that hard to figure out. Yeah. Women are going to pick guys who are a little more confident.
I hope you realize I'm not trying to be mean. Look, I'm a 35 year old bald guy with a beer gut and hopelessly wimpy pecs and arms. I've dated very attractive women, and I've dated average looking women. Some of the attractive ones were awesome people. Same for the average. Some of the attractive ones were a pain in the ass. Same for the average. The thing is, whenever I find a girl interesting (beautiful or not) I flirt with her.
Finally, let's talk simple math here.
Suppose you don't flirt with, talk to, or otherwise try to hook up with, any women at all. Odds you're going to be alone at the end of the week: 1:1
Suppose you talk to ten or fifteen girls every week. Odds you're going to be alone at the end of the week: > 1:1
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
DEAD SEXAY!
In all fairness to all the atheist women on this site, I should say that picture is from back in the day before I went bald...
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Testing...testing...is this thing on?
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda
That would explain the whole pro-abortion thing...eating babies...
aaaand I'm spent.
Unless you're dating teenagers,the looks vs intelligence/maturity shouldn't matter much,IMO. Yes, women want a moderately good looking guy.Then again,isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder? I just think that when women mature and get a little older,they are looking for a mate, not a fling. Would it then be reasonable to say that physical qualities would no longer take priority?
Personally,I'm probably have average looks and body. Though I am(aledgedly) very funny and nice. It took quite awhile, but it has eventually netted me a lovley girlfriend.And I certainly don't regret missing out on all the stupid but gorgeous bimbos.
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.
Could be worse..Women everywhere could find you attractive..Next thing you know all your babies have different moms and your broke as fuck trying to pay all your child support! Its tough being me....Im just playin...(Kinda.)
Anyway..Suck it up man. Confidence! Go get that girl you want! All that other stuff dont matter that much. But hey if you think it helps..Then go work for that 6 pack..Get that nice ride...Whatever you think will help...You want something? Make it happen.
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I think it pretty much all boils down to this statement.
I had eating disorders in high school, the culmination of which took place during my senior year. During that year, I basically allowed a guy I was involved with to treat me like absolute shit - but like in your situation, I preferred his shit over having no one at all. Obviously, I was very insecure and vulnerable, and I felt that I was worthless and deserved to be treated that way. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, but after months of torment, I had to force myself to cut him off, and not pick up when he called. You may have to do that with this woman that you mentioned, if it's really causing you that much mental anguish. Yes, I know the thought is unbearable, but you have no idea how good it feels to finally feel in control of yourself.
THE hardest thing I ever did was go through therapy for my eating. Eating is one of the fundamentals of life... to retrain your attitudes about that is prety hard. Even after I finished with therapy, it took a year and a half until I gained any semblance of confidence. You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but during that time I still allowed myself to be taken advantage of by various guys. Again, I decided I needed to break the cycle, so I swore off men and relationships for a summer. After that, I was much better able to gauge whether or not someone was worth my time. I just needed to take a step back and realize that I didn't deserve treatment like that, and it wasn't my fault that these guys acted like this, but it WAS my fault for choosing to get involved with them.
I guess what I'm saying is that people can tell if you're insecure and vulnerable. There are people that like to take advantage of others in this situation, and they'll prey on you. I'm going to suggest you take a step back and look at yourself and your situation objectively. I don't know if you're currently involved in a psychotherapy program, but I recommend looking into it if you're not. By all means, cut this woman out of your life, as she's done nothing but make you miserable - and come on, you know she's more harmful than helpful.
And finally, invest in yourself. Start working out, taking care of youself, seeking better employment opportunities, and pursuing hobbies because it makes YOU feel good, not because you're trying to attract other people. Once you have confidence in yourself and actually LIKE yourself, it will be evident to others and will make you look more attractive.
(Oh and I know that you were just using me as an example; I'm not offended.) Good luck with gaining control.
to the topic and content...
In my experience, I've known enough men who qualify by your definition of 'bitches'. Every man I have had a 'committed relationship' with relied on me, at some point and for too long, on me for support. I supported one man for 2 years while he pursued and abandoned a two-year degree at MATC. I helped another man get divorced from his lecherous wife and saved him from getting 'raped' for child support. THAT 'whining bitch' WENT BACK TO HIS WIFE. SHE TOOK HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT AND CHARGED HIM TO LIVE WITH HER (while she was living in subsidized housing, getting food stamps, and had badgercare for herself and her kids)!
Which floor was assigned to the rational atheist of moderate intelligence and looks who has a good job (that he actually enjoys) which pays well and has medical insurance coverage? These are the men who don't mind slightly overweight, sometimes moody, sometimes attractive, moderately intelligent, smoking woman with one (not living with her) adult daughter.
Ahh...these men were in the 'bargain basement' or 'closet'?
Actually, Matt, I was going to suggest that my daughter might be perfect for you. She will be 35 (July 4th). She had two daughters (adopted at birth) and decided she didn't want more (tubal ligation). She has a job that she seems to like (pays good with medical insurance). She has a car (needs some work) and a license to drive it. She isn't the brightest, but she will occassionally surprise you with some insight (must be a fluke).
Her biggest flaw (IMO) is her poor choice of 'friends'. She picks the 'weakest links' in the evolutionary chain and tries to 'salvage' them.
Should I start planning the wedding? Not yet?
You noticed that I didn't list among her qualifications that she cooks and cleans. I also didn't mention that she seems to have a 'personal relationship' with her cell phone and a fetish for purses.
Oh well! Another prospect lost. (sigh)
"Faith must have adequate evidence else it is mere superstition"...Alexander Hodge (1823-1886)
"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes"...James Feibleman (1904-1987)
Respectfully, Lyz
In seriousness, here's some more hints.
-- I believe that one of the reasons that women like men with money, is not JUST because they have money. It's that people who have reached this higher level of status possess a bunch of character traits that helped them get ahead in business that are also attractive to women. This is above all.. confidence and charisma. Selling isn't always just about the product... it's sometimes also about the selling.
-- Don't over complicate things too early. Never walk into a place looking for someone to marry. This is retardation. If you get all sheepy and talk about feelings and being a tender man, women will sniff this out as a sign of weakness and you'll get shown to the friend pile. Also, the reverse is true. If you talk to a woman and in her first conversation she talks about her dream wedding day, show her to the door and/or curb. People obsessed with marriage aren't good for getting laid. Also, let's not hear any bullshit about the kind of girl you want to live with... why don't you start fucking a few first before making that call!
-- Be funny. Out here I see models with oafs because "he makes me laugh!" Laughing lowers her defenses. People like to laugh, if they look back on you and remember laughing... you're winning.
-- When trying to make first conversation: the more you say, the more you'll wish you hadn't! Keep things as short and open-ended as possible. Keep HER talking. And keep her talking about pleasant things. "So what drove you to become an artist?" might work, while I'd avoid "I'm a really depressed and cynical 34-year-old, and I'm pretty sure the entire opposite sex hates me... what do you think?"
-- Work on your story. Have you ever had a sales job? What's your pitch? Get it down! "So, what do you do?" is an important question to have an answer for. You might also want to have plans for "What do you do for fun?"
-- EYE CONTACT. This goes toward confidence, but might be the easiest one for you to remember to do. Look at her when she's talking, look at her when you're talking. Only look away if you're trying to flag down drinks or whatever. Don't do the sheepish wandering eyes thing, you'll look less interested in her.
I love RRS for so many reasons, but one of the greatest things about it is how many gems people throw out for free. There are people who would make you pay $500 for a seminar to hear such wisdom.
While we're on the subject, when you do speak, there are a few things that are completely off limits in the first conversation:
1) Any and all women who have hurt you.
2) suicide attempts and/or desires
3) that you're a virgin
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Firstly: The joke was funny. It doesn't matter that it's not true. The stereotypical woman is never satisfied. They are living their lives only for the day when they can finally start to enjoy it. That's just how the stereotype is. The fact that no individual actually ever conforms to any stereotype is a heartening thing to acknowledge, but the joke remains funny. The counterjoke (men stop on the second floor) was equally funny, and I KNOW that that isn't true, 'cause I'm not like that (or am I?)
Secondly, I agree to a large extent with the general concensus of the above posts, but I have to say it's kinda painful that everyone is jumpin' on you Matt, because, while you deserve it for being so blatant in your opinions, I have to admit I have a lot of understanding for your position. So instead of throwing in my opinion of YOUR situation, I'll try and describe mine.
(firstly ,this stuff has been very much on my mind lately, and I need an outlet, and secondly I am thoroughly narcisistic and much prefer talking about myself
That might sound like sarcasm, and I guess it kinda is, but it's still true... Just trying to be honest here. Anyway, I hope maybe you can take something from it.)
so... Rant on: (sorry guys, need to vent, just skip it, if you don't care about my melancholic musings)
I've had two girlfriends in my 27 year life. Both were extremelly beautiful (that translates to at least way above average hotness when you remove my subjective opinion) and both were for a while absolutely crazy about me. Now the way I got them was by always being very interested in them (the ask questions bit from the above post). Selfconfindent, but never selfabsorbed: always giving them the subtle impression that they could never find a better guy than me, and I believed it myself. You have to for that to work.
Now here's the thing: How did I convince myself of that? Exactly the same way it sounds like you do: men are pricks, exept the few "nice guys", and I'm one of them. Both these girls had had alot of players hanging around since their early teens, using them, and in the case of the second girlfriend, abusing her. I was the one guy who would actually LOVE them to bits, and not treat them like shit. So it actually wasn't hard convincing myself that I was the best guy they'd ever get; at the time at least, I really was that guy.
Now, both relationsships ended, because I was TOO nice of a guy. I lost myself in it, and made everything all about them... I don't know about "women" in general, but THESE women were more interested in a guy who lives more for himself, than for them. Now does that mean they wanted an asshole? NO, they just wanted me to be ME, and not some puppydog.
Now I learned this just a little too late with my latest girlfriend, and I'm kicking myself over it still. I still believe fervantly that she SHOULD have been the one, and had I played things differently I think she would have been. But while I am a very selfconfident guy in all other respects, when it comes to women I am always haunted by the ghost of my teenage years; back when I was always the friend and never the lover.
When I got, at the age of 25, the most beautiful sexy, kind and loving woman IN THE WORLD (Wow, this really IS a rant, isn't it?), I did what I had mistakenly done with my first girlfriend: I did everything she asked, and never showed any interest in myself, and my own ambitions. My only ambition was her.
Now, it worked with her, for despite her being as wonderful as I still think she is, she DOES have some heavy trust issues, because of her very VERY abusive ex, but, weirdly, actually more because of her father, who had left her mom for another women when my ex was 13. She didn't trust men to treat her nice, and before she met me none of them had. She had been attracted to guys who absolutely used her, and when she found me, finally she had the control...
And so she used it. She was very demanding, and quick to jalouxy, not just of other women, but even my friends and family. And I followed her demands to always keep the focus on her, and while that was maybe what attracted her in the first place, it also ended up killing our relationship. How could she love me for my personality? I HAD none. I lived only for her. I gave up my friends and family to a pretty large extent, which was a shitty thing to do to them, but also to myself, and once I lost everything important to me, except her, she was all I had left, and there was no personality left in me. So she started calling me boring, lazy, never willing to take the initiative to do anything, and did the classic break-up-with-the-nice-guy where she cries more than me, saying: "I just CAN'T go on like this, even though I love you SO SO much. But I just need MORE!"
I guess what I'm trying to say is... I do not want to stop being a "nice guy", and be an asshole, just to get girls, but even if I did, ofcourse I couldn't. You can't change your personality like that. And you CAN get a girl while being a nice guy. Just know that being that nice guy has it's pitfalls.
I'm not sure she fully knows why she broke up with me, but after some soulsearching, I think I've figured it out. She DOES like that I love her intensely. She DOES like that I respect her wishes, ALL her wishes, but she CAN'T respect me if I will never put my foot down for the things that are important to ME. If I always bow to her just so I can keep having sex with her, then really, maybe I'm using her too, in my own weird way, and in the end, that's the ONE thing she, and I think all women, want to avoid: to be used. (not in bed, but out of it, but that's a subject for another thread).
The fact that some LET themselves be used by the assholes is NOT because women are bitches, but because women can be as emotionally vulnerable as you and I know we men can be. They can just as easily fall prey to the disfunctional relationships, as you and I can.
I have become increasingly bitter with women over the years, first by not getting any, then be getting some (alot, and VERY good too) only to loose it again, because they lost their respect for me because I was too nice. But I have a friend: 24, certainly better looking than me, actually a very good looking guy IMO, smart, very kind and loving, and funny too, but shy, and afraid to open up.
He is still a virgin, and he is talking exactly like you, and I was almost about to agree with him a while back, after my girlfriend broke up with me, until I realised ONE simple truth: if I blame it all on women, I will end up exactly like him: hating them all, and being bitter and alone.
I still love my ex, which is a bad, disfunctional thing to do, but at least it has saved me from hating all women, because I CAN'T bring myself to hate her. So instead I've been forced to re-examine my life, and found out the things I wrote above. I'm still alone and sad, but at least I HAVE been loved by someone, and much more importantly, I've MADE LOVE with a very beautiful and loving women, who enjoyed it for a while. You can can get there too Matt. But not by hating women. Love them AND yourself at the same time.
I got there by being a nice guy to her. If in future I wan't to STAY there, I have to be a nice guy to myself too, and never put her needs above my own. I'll loose myself in that, and inveriably her too. ("her" being whatever girlfriend I may get in the future, if I'm lucky enough. I'm still hung up on my ex, but I'm not kidding myself that that ship hasn't sailed).
Rant off... Sorry again
So anyway, take the advise of the previous posts. It's all very good, and more importantly NEVER start hating women. Take it from someone who has felt on himself where that will take you, and think of my good friend: he's fallen into a pit of simultanious self-loathing and women-loathing, out of which no amount of good looks and success can pull him. He's got both good looks and success, and a lot more than that, he's kind and funny too, but I don't see him getting a girlfriend before he changes his emotional track.
Well I was born an original sinner
I was spawned from original sin
And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
Well...following Nikolaj's very interesting and really good advice I'd like to point out something.
Masturbation and porn is still a lot of fun even when you have a steady partner and can get laid every day. srsly.
I can get sex 9 days out of 10 if I so desire from my wife. However, I still would not give up the masturbation and porn.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to just give up real sex and just use masturbation from now on. Then you don't have to deal with someone else and their mood swings and such. People are a pain sometimes to relate to.
*shrugs* But of course you're hearing this from a guy that has had sex with a few women a few...um...hundred times I guess. And has kids. So I'm kindof... well...
I'm married. Ok? 'nough said.
"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci
Actually, Watcher's point is a very good one. You CAN survive without women, and that's the first step torwards getting one. Again, if you loose yourself in the prospect that you either GET her and KEEP her, or you will be lost, then you WILL loose her. That's one of the mistakes I made.
I'm without sex now, and I still haven't dropped dead. It was only while I was with her that I thought I WOULD drop dead if she didn't want to be with me.
And by the way, having everything I ever dreamed of sexually with my ex, only made me more horny, so I was wanking MORE when I was with her, than I did before or have done since. Go figure...
Well I was born an original sinner
I was spawned from original sin
And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
I agree with this. Through my own experience and also studies I've read of. It seems that men in relationships actually masturbate more than men that are not in relationships. How odd is that?
But from my own personal experience it seems to be true.
"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci
To be honest my experience with women other than online is limited to those around here - and the women in this area are mostly bitches and VERY stuck up for the most part.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Matt, that's a No True Scotsman fallacy.
What's the common factor, here? You've approached and been approached by several different women of different backgrounds in different places, but nothing ever came of it. What's the one factor that was the same thing in every instance?
You, buddy.
Shave your 'stache, get a grip, lose some weight and consider some of the advice that's been laid on the table here. Whining and blaming isn't going to solve your problem - only progressive action on your part and a willingness to learn / adapt will do that.
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
Hi, I'm Will. I like long walks in the park, the colour green ...
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
Telling someone to lose weight is like telling them to "go win the lottery." I personally have almost fallen over from exhaustion just standing up.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Christ on a fucking pogo stick, matt...
What are you willing to change about yourself? Anything at all? I mean, if you just want to vent, that's fine, but I'm not going to waste my precious finger energy trying to help if all you want is pity.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
There are theories in life like:
-RR
Choose Reality - http://www.churchofreality.org
Desiree Alliance - http://www.desireealliance.org
$pread magazine - http://www.spreadmagazine.org
Sounds like it could also be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you've grown to expect all women to be bitches, you've probably started treating them different. Different in a way that might make them act like bitches toward you.
ALSO... if you're serious about standing up making you tired, FORGET sex man. You'll get too tired!
I love it goddess, fucking love it, it's what I always say, a bitch is someone that fucks everyone but u
hahaha, oh the tears are starting to come down. Oh and if you weren't taken....and probably in another country.......oh hell if I even stood a chance, fuck I would be all over you....ur hot damnit.
Fuck you. On behalf of all those who have invested the time and effort to lose weight, fuck you. We didn't do it by pure luck. It didn't require minimal effort. It isn't easy, and I do not appreciate you implying that we "just got lucky", because that's the furthest thing from the truth. We succeeded because we recognized that there won't be a miracle that would just make us fit at the snap of a finger - we realized that we would never lose weight if we thought like you do. Let me say that again, because it's a really, really important point that I need to stress: as long as you have that mentality, you will never be able to lose weight. You won't. Not fucking ever.
Because even you could lose weight - it would just require you to change your own mentality first. That isn't easy to do, but guess what: it'll never get any easier. In fact, it'll only get harder and harder the longer you wait! Since you've already given up on it, and would obviously rather sink down into self pity than actually doing something about it, you don't have what it takes to lose weight. That does not give you the right to belittle the effort put down by all those who have done it, though.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."
Careful of such statements! ...you wouldn't want to be identified as odd or malevolent, would you ?
( seriously, I understood your context though
)
Hey Matt, speaking as a person who also has some serious issues, I can empathize with your frustration . I tend to focus on the malicious aspects of human nature and that makes it very difficult for me in my relationships with others...and changing your perspective toward your own ingrained behavior is a daunting task, believe me.
It goes without saying that not everyone wins the genetic lottery. Some people are born with more advantages than others and that totally sucks but that doesn't mean that you can't at least move a few inches closer to achieving some satisfaction.