For the Bitches [Trollville]
Offline Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men.
It was laid out in five floors, with men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was that once you opened a door to a new floor, you either had to choose a man from that floor, or ascend to the next floor. You could not go back down a floor, except to leave the store, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the store to find a husband each.
First floor.
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign saying, "Well that's better than not having a job and not loving kids, but I wonder what's up further?" So up they went.
Second floor.
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor.
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.
Fourth floor.
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor.
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs."
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
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The agony of doing a push up is so great that you are unable to perform the action? Can you even do basic stretches?
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
... that only makes me want to try harder >.>
What Would Kharn Do?
Round peg in round hole right?
I would say it depends on the woman. Believe it or not, knowing Star Wars trivia or even math is a drug for them. And in college, simply knowing what the hell the professor is talking about can do it as well. You just need know how to sieze the opportunity when you discover what a particular woman's drug is (which I must admit, I have no freakin clue how to do . . . but knowing this first step is kinda good right?
)
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
Overachiever are ya Mr. Doomstick?
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
Hardly... i just cant tolerate being second best worst
(best is SUPPOSED to be crossed out... stupid... stupid tool bar)
What Would Kharn Do?
Well the nerdy chicks are pretty few and far, usually not that hot either. Unfortunately science and math are not direct turn ons for most women, indirectly if they think it leads to the drug of cash.
Yes, that is the trick finding their drug and supplying them with it. Usually the hotter they are, the harder it is to supply them with their fix.
Maybe just ask to find out what are their drugs. I ask them what are your addictions. Try that as an opening line in a bar sometime.
Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen
Im sure it would have ben upraoriously giggletastic.
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
I'm tired of you threatening people, Matt. Don't get me wrong, you are considered a valuable member here at RRS. But stop threatening other people that are also considered valuable members here.
You aren't winning any friends over with that strategy.
"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci
You would be suprised. But you do have a point.
Well, with these hotter girls, their fix usually includes an equally hot guy. That is if we are thinking about the same type of chicks.
Thats implied with inquiery "What do you like doing when rolling around naked in jello?"
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
2 things
1. Is threatening non-valuable members ok?
2. Why is it when i threaten people, its funny, but when matt does it, its bad?
Can any one think of the last time matt threated the life of some one on this forum?
Now think of the last time i did >.> (and i've done it plenty of times... )
Hmm... maybe Matt needs a lesson in style? a way to mask his true motives and feelings with sarcasm and satire, yet still laying everything all out on the line?
What Would Kharn Do?
Becuase you are about as threatening as a baby kitten with no eyes or legs?
They are trying to help him pick up chicks . . . .
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
Right... because people feel more threatened by a guy that cant do a single push up, then by a soldier who wishes to erradicate the human species
Thought chicks dig funny guys? (granted, ive never tried to pickup any one on sarcasm and satire >.> )
What Would Kharn Do?
Again, a harmless little creature like claing to be a soldier and planning to eradicate the human species is just adorable and cute. Not threatening. *hands Mr. Doomstick and cookie* there ya go little one.
Forklifts pick them up pretty well.
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
Actually, this does bring up a decent point... i really should stop calling myself a soldier, seeing as i got my papers last week (still got mixed feelings on that)
Always 1 step ahead >.> hehehe
What Would Kharn Do?
You are becoming an American? You were the canadian boating about the canadian Moutain troops or whatever right?
You clearly must be since I have no idea how Gary Busey relates to all of this.
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
Matt, you post plenty of photos that are acceptable and don't disrupt the threads because of their enormous size. Go check the rules. Don't give me that crap that you are not a computer expert. Neither am I. You don't need to be a computer expert to resize a photo. My 82 year old mother knows how to do that. AND, if you truly don't know how to do this, why did you not answer my private message to you? As I have said 9 million times, I would have resized your photo for you. YOU never replied to my email. So, now I'm a "fascist" who is hungry for power? BTW, your post on the Nialler thread was the ONLY time I have ever deleted anything (except for spelling or grammatical purposes). Yeah, I'm a "power abuser." YEHAW!
As a mod, it is my job to use my best judgment. And I do have some judgment as I am 52 years old and have been around the block a few times. If I see something that I think is inappropriate, I'm going to do something about it. I know you feel the need to vent, and that is the sole reason that I have kept quiet on many of your angry posts. And, I actually agree with some of the things you post. Not many, but some.
With my POWER ABUSE, I fixed your post a few days ago about the people getting arrested for cheering at a graduation ceremony. The formatting was completely messed up because you copied and pasted from the web page from which you got the article. It took me half an hour to fix it. Who do you think fixes these things? Computer fairies? No, its POWER ABUSERS like me who fix your mistakes. You are welcome.
The thread I wanted to delete was the one where you wished severe harm to the woman you "love". I won't get into the details here because you didn't post it in the public forum. But you posted it and I read it. I wasn't the only MOD who thought about deleting it. That you would even suggest such a gruesome thing indicates that you have a severe mental problem. And you still love her despite the fact that she abuses you. How nice. I sure hope she doesn't have access to that post. How many times have you met this woman in person? And from this dysfunctional relationship (and I am not clear as to whether or not you have actually seen her in person) you judge all women?
I'm not going to respond to anything else in this thread after this Matt. But this is a warning. Stop being disrespectful to women and stop threatening people (including me).
Maybe this is an American thing, but I find it a tad sad that many peoples advice is to train and try to lose weight. Is everyone in the US really that obsessed with body shape?
There was a programme on UK TV last week that gathered 100 men and 100 women volunteers together in a hall. They were all shapes and sizes but of a similar age group. They were asked to mark themselves out of ten for attractiveness and also mark each of the opposite sex. The men had marked themselves between 2-10 with the average about 6. The women had in fact marked the men on average between 3-7. However, the men were then told the highest mark that anyone had given them and this ranged from 7-10 with the scoring for the women was very similar. So my point is that even if you only consider yourself a 2 there are women out there who would see you as a 7.
You don’t need to lose weight or train to find a woman. You just need to lose the poor attitude and build up your confidence a bit. Training can help mentally, but a brisk walk ever other day is good enough for most people.
Learn to make women laugh, it's the greatest leg spreader of them all!
Big women are the best one night stands - they try harder as they get it less. 
If you can satisfy a fat girl the skinny ones are easy! 
Do I look like a 52 year old power hungry fascist to you (OK...so my hair is wet and messy in the photo)? If it weren't for my torn rotator cuffs, I am in better shape than I have ever been. 52 is the new 35. And I can kick butt, too. Not that I have ever kicked a butt. But I could.
You look great, entomophila
(for a fascist 
)
There is a differene between body image and body health. Our concern is with his health.
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
If that’s the case then I believe my advice of walking would be better suited for Matt. Light aerobic workouts would be more beneficial than anaerobic exercises like sit-ups, press-ups and weights. I also think that he would be more likely to continue walking than continue doing weights etc.
You look really good
.
How exactly was I threatening anyone? And no I can't do stretces. I'm about as nonflexible as you can get - If I try to touch my toes I'm lucky to get to my knees (been that way my whole life.)
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
This, Matt, is considered a threat by most people. If you want to contact Brian about any mod and ask for our defrocking that is fine and is your right. However, once you start throwing it around on the forums that you have been either considering or actively trying to get someone de-modded it becomes a threat.
Can you understand that?
The normal procedure for anyone if they have a problem with any mod's actions is to PM another mod and report it. The subject will be brought up in the mod section and discussed over whether the action was innapropriate or not. If it was then corrective action will be taken and you will most likely be given an apology by the mod that wronged you.
Can you walk? Can you move your limbs at all? Can you squeeze your buttcheeks? Can you do anything at all to burn a single calorie other than type?
"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci
Speaking of mods, I'm wondering if it wouldn't be appropriate to lock this thread. It's not my job to decide that, I know, but it's been a week now and we obviously haven't been able to help Matt. The more we push, the more he bewails his virginity (much like the daughter of Jephthah) and muses about suicide. It seems like our current strategy of engagement is just validating his current feelings of separation.
"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell
I'm with DamnDirtyApe, but I'm a relatively new moderator. My only real concern is for Matt himself, considering the increasingly violent tone and suicidal ideation. Since all that's in public, it places a real moral burden on those reading it.
Help us out, here, Matt. It's difficult to deal with someone saying they want to kill themselves, and you must admit that your venting has become more colourfully violent recently.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
Hmmmm
Its no wonder you went into entomology, the butterflies probably came to you looking for nectar
People who think there is something they refer to as god don't ask enough questions.
Interesting, there is a thread about this very phenomena of male posters cyber oogling female posters and how it is more frequent than female posters cyber oogling male posters. The things I find funny
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
too true, but push ups are something you can do without leaving your room so I figured those types of exercises would be best for him at the moment.
Typo fairy has been here.
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
Which is why some portray themselves as males.
I want to apologize to entomophilia here. I just went off. I don't want to go into details but I have been going through a very difficult time - besides the thing with Carla - by the way I plan on telling her to get stepping. If I could I'd play Gloria Gaynor's song "I Will Survive" to her. She is not worth me killing myself over.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
So are you coming out of the closet and revealing that youre a female despite the female avatar?
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
I thought I split the witch in twain a score and a fortnight ago.
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
But, for what it's worth from a lurker, a fellow atheist, and a guy who knows a little bit about being bitter about women...here's a story for you, Matt. About 10 years ago, I met and married a beautiful woman. Smart, pretty, about all you could ask for. A couple weeks after we got back from the honeymoon, I came home one day from work to find her on the floor next to an empty bottle of pills and half a bottle of wine. She lived, but it was a close thing. Come to find out, in the aftermath, that she'd been cheating on me -- while we were engaged -- with one of my best "friends." She was diagnosed as bi-polar...a terrible illness, but one that doesn't excuse everything. We tried to work it out for a while, but it ultimately ended in divorce.
I didn't want to have much to do with any woman for a long time after that. Understandably, I guess. I dated a bit, but nothing serious.
Until a couple years ago, I met a woman...on the Internet...in a forum not a lot different than this one. We started bantering back-and-forth. Then we started emailing and calling. Then we agreed to meet halfway between where we each lived.
We're getting married this fall.
Frankly, she's a bit older and fatter than my ex. But, then again, I'm a bit older and fatter than the last time I got married. The thing is, we can talk to each other. And we started our relationship by talking to each other. Honestly.
Don't guess that means much when you're trying to be a "pimp", but, for the record, the sex is damn good, too.
Thanks, Matt. I appreciate you being rational enough to admit when you've screwed up. Look, everyone here has been trying to help you, including ento. I'm glad you're feeling better about the Carla thing and about life in general.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Note that she's an entomologist fairy...
who on occasion magically fixes typos if she happens to see them! She means no harm.
Well I'm guessing/hoping nobody will be offended by me saying that Carla is a bitch. I told her I'm done with her by e mail and text message. I know it's generally considered bad form to break up with someone via email/texting but when they live 1000 miles away and won't answer the phone what can you do? I also feel I was more than patient with her and gave her more chances than she deserved.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
it's not mean. she's been rude and inconsiderate to you for months... she deserves little consideration in return.
YAY Matt! She doesn't deserve good form. You are doing the right thing.
Hey...are there any atheist groups near where you live that you could attend? Maybe you could start one if there isn't one.
There is a meetups in my county but they don't meet very often and don't give much notice. It wouldn't work for that anyway - there's maybe 8 people in it - only one female and she's like in her '70s. If Carla does call I'll say "So you're back from outer space?" and see if she gets the reference.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
um, hon... if carla calls you let it go to voicemail.
I don't have voicemail - I'm not tech savy enough to figure out how to set it up.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Even better... keep the phone off. She'll get the "this person is not accepting calls" message enough to think you disconnected it. Matt, I give you this advice totally out of concern for you. I think it is a great step to break it off with her and I want you to stick to the ground on this one. In the past she has been able to reel you back in.
That's one thing I'm afraid of. But I don't think I'd let her - especially if she uses her usual methods of excuses, crying and saying "you hate me" or yelling at me/bullying. I've had the shits of her games. She is officially kicked to the curb.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Matt, I am going to second ento's suggestion that you don't have any need to communicate with her again... ever. There is absolutely nothing you can gain from it and much you can lose. If you decide to speak to her, she's the only one who stands to benefit.
Don't answer when she calls. Block her email address. Hell.. change your phone number. That would send the message clearly.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Why do women always insist on fixinf my spelling!!!
" Why does God always got such wacky shit to say? . . . When was the last time you heard somebody say 'look God told me to get a muffin and a cup tea and cool out man'?" - Dov Davidoff
To be honest I am feeling right now in love with Carla and wanting to be with her. I know it is totally irrational - like the women who go for abusive men. I'm not going to contact her though.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Think about soggy white bread.