You were raped because you dressed unGodly.
Wow. Just wow.
BRISTOL, Va. – Nineteen-year-old Keshia Canter handed three burgers, fries and milkshakes to a car-load of Tuesday afternoon customers at the Hi-Lo Burger’s drive-though window. A lady sitting in the backseat leaned forward, between the two men in front, and handed her a leaflet: “Women & Girls” it said across the top.
“Even though nothing is showing, you’re being ungodly,” Canter recalled the woman telling her. “You make men want to be sinful.”
Canter was wearing boots pulled up over jeans, a pink zebra-print shirt with a black jacket zipped up over it. She has blond hair, dark eye make-up and a little red lip ring. “I just asked if she needed any salt, pepper or ketchup,” Canter said. “I mean, how do I respond to that?”
Minutes later, Canter’s mother, Pam Yates, who owns the restaurant, returned from the bank. Canter handed her “Women & Girls” and Yates started reading.
“You may have been given this leaflet because of the way you are dressed,” it begins. “Have you thought about standing before the true and living God to be judged?”
It continues with one essential theme: The sins of men are, in part, the fault of women, specifically women in tight-fitting clothing. Yates was annoyed. Then she got to a section on page two:
“Scripture tells us that when a man looks on a woman to lust for her he has already committed adultery in his heart. If you are dressed in a way that tempts a men to do this secret (or not so secret) sin, you are a participant in the sin,” the leaflet states. “By the way, some rape victims would not have been raped if they had dressed properly. So can we really say they were innocent victims?”
The hand-out is signed “anonymous.”
Yates was angry.
“What if my daughter had been a rape victim?” she said. “I hope that they never handed this to anyone, especially a young person, who’s been through that and struggles with that daily. And then they get handed something that says they are at fault. I cannot believe that a Christian, someone who walks in God’s shoes, would have made this.”
Leaflet in hand, Yates locked eyes with the old man driving the old white car, still parked in the lot, and stormed outside. The car quickly drove away.
Sandra G. Rasnake, the sexual assault program director at Bristol’s Crisis Center, had one eyebrow cocked as she read through the leaflet Thursday morning.
She cocked the other as she read aloud: “some rape victims would not have been raped if they had dressed properly.”
“Wow,” she said. “This idea that men don’t have enough self control – and evidently they shouldn’t have to – plays into all the old myths that we’ve tried for years to overcome: Rape happens to 2-year-olds and 92-year-olds, not just attractive young women. How about we hold the person doing the action accountable, whoever it is going against the will and consent of somebody else?”
Rasnake said she confronts similar ideas, although not generally printed and distributed in mass, from the women she talks with daily. Victim blaming, she said, is the most prominent reason rapes are so rarely reported and even more rarely taken to trial. Sexual assaults, she said, come in second for the country’s worst conviction rates.
Victims blaming themselves often comes from a religious place, but not always, Rasnake said. It’s become a societal defense mechanism for dealing with issues of sexual assault.
“Blaming victims is the way we who have not been victimized feel safer,” Rasnake said. “If it’s their fault then I’m safer because I wouldn’t do that. If someone steals your purse, can you imagine someone asking why you had a purse? If you are sexually assaulted, it is not because you come with breasts.”
The Rev. Bill Houck, pastor of Northstar Christian Church, shared Rasnake’s concerns about the leaflet.
“It is this type of thinking that would cause a woman not to report being raped and to somehow think it is her fault,” Houck wrote in an e-mail. “As a Christian, a father and a husband, that is a horrific statement. The rapist is wrong period.”
Houck also questioned the leaflet’s interpretation of its occasionally cited Bible passages.
“You must look at the cultural context,” he wrote. “I was surprised the article did not reference Peter 3. Many of the same ideas are put forth. Here, it gets to the crux of the issue where the Bible says that a lady’s lifestyle should be focused more on the inner person than the outward clothing. This is why, while I agree with ‘modest’ dress, there is so much more to this issue.”
Houck said his 19-year-old daughter, a student at King College, asked why the leaflet doesn’t mention how men should dress.
“If I choose to sin, that’s my choice,” Houck wrote.
Rasnake was similarly perplexed by the leaflet’s little faith in mankind.
“It’s insulting to men,” she said. “The men that I know and associate with are not so lust-driven that they cannot control their urges. By this person’s argument, everyone working at Hooters deserves to be raped.”
Theism is why we can't have nice things.
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I feel sorry for the men in that religion - and others that require women to dress "modestly". After all, what does that say about them? That they have the control of a 2 year old in a candy shop? Running around and grabbing what ever looks good? And the women of those religions buy into to this? Tell the men in your life to just grow up.
-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.
"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken
"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.
Think of all the poor men that can't even go to Burger King without being forced into raping sinfully dressed women.
Truly, women are Satan's creatures. The victims here are clear, the men lured and seduced into raping these dangerous harlots.
/fundies are really obsessed with sex aren't they?
Theism is why we can't have nice things.
actually, here in slovakia i've seen some middle eastern muslim men behave precisely this way, especially if they are "tempted" enough by the new culture to get a few drinks in them. they hoot, holler, catcall, and gang up on every girl on the dance floor, just like something out of night at the roxbury. i've worked with a few. even in other situations, they often behave like spoiled little boys if they don't get their way. they can be very intelligent and articulate one moment, then petulant the next.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
Do I get a flyer?
Yea but it would be from Ru Paul and it would read, "Leave fashion to the professionals".
MY EYES MY EYES!
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Tapey, are you doing anything this Friday?
You couldn't have posted this at a better time, imho.
So let me see if I understand this.
What about gay guys? If they look at some straight dude and think bad thoughts, does that mean that the straight guy is now guilty of virtual gay sex? Even if he is waking into a whore house to have real straight sex?
What if I think about my best friend's girlfriend? If they are not married, then I am in violation of one commandment but if they are married, then I am in violation of two commandments? For only one thought?
=
It is up to men to rape everything in site when we are horny. It's not like we as atheists are responsible for our actions. No Gene, you have to accept that there is a magical guy with a pitchfork fucking with your neurons making you have impure thoughts. This woman was merely reminding society what they are up against and that women are responsible for all this. If it weren't for that stupid bitch Eve.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Thessalonians - That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;
Oops! I don't think this is someone elses fault, per the book.
Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S. Burroughs
I think it is sad that women can be made to have such low self esteem that they buy that garbage.
The fact that the men are willing to lay blame for their supposed weakness on the heads of their own mothers and sisters just makes me angry.
I'm also glad that western civilization is slowly stamping that idea out, even among the religious.
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.
"mothers and sisters" *applauds*
Dressing godly is no dressing at all, that's how God created us. Should sermons be perhaps held at nudistic beaches and swimming pools? Why are we so ashamed of our god-given bare ass?
Of course, we all know that sexually deprived fundie men are such a pigs, only a proverbial step from sexual rampage. And because they're stronger, they force women to wear burkas, while the problem is in them, so burka solves nothing. Victorian age proved, that men don't need more than 5 square centimeters of visible or even imagined female skin to commit adultery in their hearts.
That's a pity, I'd gladly dress in the opposite of that. A dress that can get me laid? Awesome!
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
I'm ashamed of my bare ass.
As usual, Jesus and Mo are here:
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.
If you find something that works, I must request pix.
Okay, I'm officially in love with this comic strip. I can't believe I've never seen this before...
Yea, I know. I only found it about a month ago, but I read through the whole archive in a couple of days. It neatly summarizes just about every theistic argument you ever see and delivers a nice helping of sharp tongues criticism. Gorgeous. I'd like to meet Author someday and buy him/her their drink of choice.
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.
I just read through a ton of them. The whole premise of it is fucking genius.
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
True.
Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.