Howdy
Offline Howdy. My name's Billy Bob. I'm an all American, ex-military, Bible believin' Baptist. I believe every single word of the Bible without exception. I'm not one of those sissy Christians who believe only the parts that sound pretty. I only wear wholecloth. I believe the law should provide for the stoning of disobedient children. I believe Jesus is my Savior.
I look forward to teachin' you atheists a thing or two about there bein' a God. Foremost, I want you all to understand that pretending there's no God won't justify you havin' anal sex or worshipping false idols. God knows He's real and so should you.
In case any of you come at me with the argument, "how do you know your religion is the right one. There's so many religions!" I'll just have you know right up front that the KJV1611 only endorses True Christianity, and that's the only religion that they teach at my church.
I defy you all to prove to me that the Bible is not the inerrant Word of God, and that you are not all damned.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
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Not exactly. I said "atheism is nothing more than an excuse for men to have anal sex with one another". What that means exactly is that the original reason atheism was created was as an excuse for man on man gay action. Since then it has infected the popular culture. The first atheists were ancient greeks, and they were notorious faggots.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
If two atheist women are together, do they have anal sex? Do they use "marital aids"? Do they have a man to assist them? I wouldn't know, I've never had another atheist woman ask me for sex. But then, I've never had a christian woman ask me for sex, either.
Ah, I forgot. You don't care about girls, not even your momma who was also a girl at one point. Can you explain to me how you (and other men like you) are going to have boy children without a girl-woman involved?
-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.
"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken
"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.
I care very much about some women, such as my wife Ethel. I care about her enough to discipline her regularly and lecture her about Jesus when she starts acting like a woman. We have three male children together. She has also borne me three daughters, but I put those up for adoption. All I need is three more broads bleeding and leaking milk all over the place.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Too busy watching and wanking?
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
You know, it is just as well. The little girls can grow up loved, healthy and happy without worrying about daddy raping or beating them. If I were your wife, I'd have done anything to get my daughters away from you. Ethel has all my pity.
-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.
"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken
"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.
Numbers 31:18 (King James Version)
18But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
And you used the word arse?
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
That is just one of the side effects of living in a multi-cultural society: occasionally I say things that make no sense. I try to isolate myself and my family from the world, but between internet and driving into town for groceries, they've got me talking like some mick eurotrash! Gaah!
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
What sort of truck do you drive into town, billy? And how would you describe the town? What are the people like? Are you home schooling your sons into warriors for jesus?
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
Welcome Billy Bob
Man this guy is a classic!!! I thought these things only appeared in the American movies! Even his name fits him as a glove!!
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
I will tell you that I am indeed home schooling my three sons to be True Christian Warriors for Christ. My wife Ethel is mostly in charge of that though. Last I heard she was teaching them about WWII, which was instigated by German Jews and resulted in the destruction of their own country. It's important that you learn history otherwise you're bound to repeat it.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
lol another good one.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
Considering you so eloquently derailed the multiple religions arument (lol), how do you rationalize where you were born? For example had you been born in Pakistan what religion would you be adhering to today?
I'm going to take a guess and say that "god only puts those he knows will be heathens in pakistan?"
Was I close? I hope not because I already have a retort prepared for that one.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
Isaiah 45:7 (King James Version)
7I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
While most God fearing Americans could do without Pakistan and its moon worshipping banditry, God has created Pakistan and all of its terrorist inhabitants. We just have to accept that and continue worshipping Jesus.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
I'm part redneck by default having been born in and residing in Texas (though I have lived in a few other states and ventured overseas for a time), so I know the gears are grinding right now with a kind of dull hum.
I don't however brag about it and indeed I can usually fool the public on this particular matter through the written word /cough, though my accent is a terrible dead giveaway.
Actually come to think of it I have been told I sound like Sam Elliot
Bragging about being a redneck is not exactly awesome imo.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
That verse doesn't mention pakistan or any other land in particular. You could do better, in fact I can think of a better one right now and I'm no bible scholar.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Leviticus 26:33
And I will scatter you among the heathen, and will draw out a sword after you: and your land shall be desolate, and your cities waste.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
that...is...awesome!
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
"Arse" ? Yeah, you're an all American. I bet you also say "whilst" instead of while.
Nah, I am not trying to do that. Yet you did explicitly say that you can handle snakes.
How about Genesis 1:29, 30
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2 Timothy 3:16 (King James Version)
16All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Matthew 19:26 (King James Version)
26But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Genesis 1:29-30 (King James Version)
29And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
30And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.
Naturally, since I believe the Bible in its entirety, I believe these verses as well.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
So, is your avatar a pic of you chopping off some prime tree steak to feed you and your boys dinner?
Do you prefer your pine rare/medium/well done?
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Billy, you say you are a man of god. The bible says that signs will accompany those who are truly saved. In order for me to convert, I need to see you pass the test of proof laid out in the bible. Mark 16:18 clearly states that poison will not harm a believer. Don't try to argue out of this, your god says it right there, black and white. Now, go get a jug of bleach and drink it. Every. last. drop. In fact, do it on video so we can all see the miracle, perhaps you'll save more people that way.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Edit: I have never tried pine, but maybe I will since God said it was okay. It isn't mandatory though, you realize.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
I used to know an idiot who juggled chain saws at lumberjack competitions. It was his profession until he was elected county commissioner.
-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.
"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken
"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.
How can it be sinful if he explains that it is a sign of true faith? It's not sinful if you're saved. You wouldn't be "tempting" god at all. You know you're saved and so does he, and you're just showing other people the power he has as he commanded, it's not sinful at all. I have a sneak suspicion you have a doubting heart....
This guy cant be real!! Cmon! "Discipline his wife"?!?! "Giving daughters for adoption"??!!
What is this?! The middle ages??!
He's a stereotype. Are there many people like that in the USA?!
He used the word arse
he slipped 
He's mocking you!
See!!! See!!!! I Told you!!! mocking!!! I found proof!!!!
http://sports.espn.go.com/outdoors/timbersports/news/story?id=3322480
I mentioned I could quote a more situationally appropriate bit of "scripture". I didn't just say it was a "better" piece of scripture. You seem to be spewing scripture out your "arse" so I would assume you know more than myself about the bible, poe or not.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
Nice find. A personal hero of his no doubt /snicker.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Edit: Thank you for complementing my Biblical knowledge. That went straight to my head.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Reread #68 and then tell me mine is not a more appropriate quote, you seem to have lost track.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
It's fine if you prefer to generalize. Punching pregnant women while having anal sex is so relaxing though, makes you clear headed. To go without would be akin to forcing a meth head to stop for a day.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
God's language tis KJV1611. Why doth ye not speaketh in Jesus' tongue?
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
I'll play along a litle more. Has your Jesus approved your own vile tongue and judgemental ways?
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
OK, I did not have time to get to this one yesterday morning. Even so, I always love it when theists take a single line from scripture and quote it apart from the context where it occurs to prove something which is fully different.
Shall we have a read at the whole relevant passage and see what it really means? Yes, lets do that:
OK, so your answer to the whole taking snakes to church thing is to quote a single line out of context. When that context is restored, we find out that it is about so much more than that. It has a great deal to do with maintaining a state of poverty as somehow holy. And how well do you hold up?
So you have guns. Lots of guns. Guns are stuff and you have lots of them. Your main stated reason is to keep poor people from getting near to your other stuff. So I guess that you are more like the rich guy who has to give it all to poor people to get to heaven than to the poor people that JC said everyone really ought to be like.
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Psalm 37:30 (King James Version)
30The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.
My tongue is not vile. It says, "I love the Lord" and sings His praises.
I hope I didn't hurt your feelings too bad with the "AIDS infested man seed" bit.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Matthew 15:18-19 (King James Version)
18But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
19For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
I am not rich. I am a lumberjack. Though periodically I can go on a gun shopping spree when I win at competitive lumberjack events. I tithe most of that money to my church.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
You sir are a joy to the world and set a standard all fundamentalist christians should weigh themselves against.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
Turns out ole' Billy Bob is a memeber of Landover Baptist.org
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?