Howdy
Offline Howdy. My name's Billy Bob. I'm an all American, ex-military, Bible believin' Baptist. I believe every single word of the Bible without exception. I'm not one of those sissy Christians who believe only the parts that sound pretty. I only wear wholecloth. I believe the law should provide for the stoning of disobedient children. I believe Jesus is my Savior.
I look forward to teachin' you atheists a thing or two about there bein' a God. Foremost, I want you all to understand that pretending there's no God won't justify you havin' anal sex or worshipping false idols. God knows He's real and so should you.
In case any of you come at me with the argument, "how do you know your religion is the right one. There's so many religions!" I'll just have you know right up front that the KJV1611 only endorses True Christianity, and that's the only religion that they teach at my church.
I defy you all to prove to me that the Bible is not the inerrant Word of God, and that you are not all damned.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
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The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Maybe we should have just let it ride, it's kinda funny.
Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin
And among a range of qualifications he's also an ex-masturbator. Lol. Landover.org is seriously funny.
Maybe Billy will stay around and fuck with the heads of liberal theists.
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
Like me
Sorry Billy Bob... You're on the other side of the Universe... I can't relate to you...
My Guess is that as a young lad Ole' Billy Bob had a Razor stubbled, whiskey breathed Uncle who would occassionally come into his room late at night to "Tuck him in"... And then told him that God would punish him if he ever told a soul... After a while, once he began to enjoy it, he associated being touched with "The hand of God"... Happens all the time... No need to be ashamed, big fella...
Most of these reality denying Jizzbuckets need an imaginary friend to rationalize their bigotry...and have developed this type of self-righteous indignation in the hope of imposing themselves on others (the way Uncle did) and to compensate for their otherwise sexless, loveless, angst-filled lives. By the time they become members of a Baptist Church, they have committed so much of their lives to ignorance that the courage it takes to employ Rational perspective is well beyond their under-developed mental capacity.
Nice to meet you Billy Bob... Hope your Daughter winds up on a stripper pole...
www.RichWoodsBlog.com
You're a liberal? And let me guess, and environmentalist. You think you can save the world from God? I beg to differ. He has already foretold The End. None of your sissy solar panels or your communist Dutch windmills will save you from God.
Matthew 24:14 (King James Version)
14And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
a) my dad drank Old Milwaukee, not whiskey.
b) I am married. So my home is full of love and warm pie.
c) I have been Baptist all my life, just like my daddy, and my daddy's daddy.
d) I gave my four daughters up for adoption and kept the three sons. Sons are a blessing; women just bleed all over the place and tempt men into sinning.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Is funnier than a bumful of smarties. I want him to pursue Fonzie over on the paleolithic "It Works For Me" thread. I think Fonzie deserves some wood chopping lessons from Billy Bob. Fonzie is far too liberal for my liking. He 'interprets' the word of god.
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
Where in the New Testament do you find Jesus Christ is into property rights? I can't think of any.
Where does Jesus say that you should be a Republican? Or more broadly be into politics? I would expect you not to like Sarah Palin since she is one of those speaking in tongue, pentecostal, ass-emby of God, worst than an atheist, making converts two-fold the child of hell types. Mitt Romney a Mormon? Mike Huckabee might be your man.
Luke 6:27-31
But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
Matthew 5:
Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
Matthew 8:18-20
Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side. And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest. And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.
Matthew 6:19-21
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
That would be a dream come true. That would be an early Christmas present to see Billy Bob set Fonzie straight.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Jesus Christ advocates property rights in the scripture I just quoted wherein He condemns theft. While the Bible does not explicitly endorse the Republican Party, the Republican Party is the only party in the United States not actively trying to go against God's Law by giving homersexurals special privileges, encouraging women to murder unborn babies, and stealing from us through institutionalized socialism. The Republican Party is God's Own Party!
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
A bit loose interpretation of KJV1611, eh? Jesus doesn't have a party. That is quite clear from the New Testament. He said his kingdom is not of this world. He never told his followers to pick or make a human organization and call it God's organization. That is putting your confidence in men. You didn't say your opinion of a Sarah Palin being almost vice president from God's party or possible president in 2012. She would have bled all over the oval office. Would you vote for her?
It was just bravado to say you strictly follow the Bible.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Billy Bob: Republicans are not "encouraging women to murder unborn babies,"
oh and this is not a biblical issue. Abortion goes back hundreds of years before Christ's birth. Despite that there is no condemnation in the the Bible. It was practiced during the Roman Empire yet Jesus did not condemn it. God himself doesn't give a rat's ass about fetuses. He destroys the world with a flood. He destroyed Sodom & Gomorrah. He order the complete destruction of Jericho.
God speaks to the first king of Israel Saul through the His prophet - 1 Samuel 15:2-3
This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’”
There would be some pregnant women in each of those events. If God loved fetuses so much he should have said spare the pregnant women and after they give birth make the baby your own and cut the woman up into bits. No innocence doesn't matter.
You would think apostle Paul would tell his followers to get the government to get a law in place to stop this practice, but instead he worries about such things as men and women's hair length (1 Corinthians 11). As a general rule, Paul never directed his followers to get involved in government.
The only text I have heard condemn it is "Thou shalt not kill", but obviously the Bible takes a light attitude towards that. Followers try to avoid it but if your invisible god is not theirs then it is an easy exception. It is not accurate to say this is in God's plan. If the Bible teaches anything heathen abortions are a non-issue
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Matthew 19:14 (King James Version)
14But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
The Republicans are also not helping the lower class thugs steal from the rich. (I quoted where Jesus opposes thievery in a previous post).
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Billy Bob: "stealing from us through institutionalized socialism"
You know we have a representative government right? We do get representation for our taxation. This is not stealing.
I accept the fact that Bush put us into a very expensive war, not something I wanted my taxes to go towards. However, he was our representative and choose to do it. He lied to us but in this he did not steal. Again you loosely interpret KJV1611. I am thinking you might be one of those Republicans who use Christianity for your political beliefs. In fact that is what all major Republicans do these days. You didn't see Goldwater do that. What he fear came true - they are a bunch of wolves in sheeps clothing.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
I do not use Christianity for my political beliefs. My political beliefs are based on Christianity.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
You misread what I wrote. I was quoting you saying Republicans are against abortion. They really don't care though, they just found it a useful tool for political gain. Now they are afraid that the crazies that have used will take over and make them a wacked out party.
The context of the scripture you quote is talking about children not fetuses. Abortion is not condemned in the bible. Even you admit women/girls are nothing more than property and not worth keeping around if the man deems so. Fetuses cannot be any better.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Any reason you are avoiding my question regarding voting for Sarah Palin?
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Proverbs 3:7-10 (King James Version)
7Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
8It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
9Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
10So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
Every year doctors are figuring out ways of letting fetuses survive outside of the womb earlier and earlier. This will make the time limit to get abortions shorter and shorter. Pretty soon fetuses in the second trimester will be viable. Do you think it's okay to kill a "fetus" that can already survive outside of the womb?
Besides, many of those fetuses are male.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Ah man, I'm gone for a week and I completely missed welcoming you? That was much too bad.
Anyway, you're the best thing on the forum since Platonic idealism guy. It's nice to have a theist who is so...um... forward about their beliefs.
What exactly is wholecloth?
Magnets, how do they work?
Ack! Accidental double post!
Anyway- welcome again!
There it is. The Bible is against women in leadership. You consider Pentecostals as deluded, perhaps evil. And yet the Holy Spirit tells you Sarah Palin would make an excellent president.
The thing about religion is how subtle it is on the inside. First (1) it is about peace and love and being saved. Then it is about (2) WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO HAVE THE TRUTH. Then (3) it is about others are bad and it is about we need to straight those assholes out. Then (4) it is about political power and controlling the evil ones (i.e. those who might not think like you) and then (5) it will accept anyone who even speaks in a similar manner and the peace and love are thrown out the window. Then (6) You are left with the likes of the Catholic Church and Islam with religious leaders in charge. I am not condemning religion per se. This is human nature. Power corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. If I believe I have God on my side who can stop me? This is why the founding fathers set up a secular government. They had seen way too much of religion in power in Europe and its abuses. Hell, many left Europe because they were persecuted by fellow Christians who happened to believe something slightly different. (Note: just because you are persecuted it doesn't mean you are being persecuted for Christ's sake)
You quote a text from Proverbs which is not about political gain but about living an upright life and you would be blessed with food and wine, not become president. Another loose interpretation.
The Bible consistently shows men using power to bring about "God's Will" are doomed. Israel wanted a king. God begrudgingly granted it and the mess that followed shows it wasn't the way to go. The New Testament shows that this God gave up on nation building. It was a sad experiment but it was done to bring forth the Christ and this Christ said my kingdom is not of this world and the other NT writings nor Paul taught anything different. You don't see the reflection but you are similar to those you condemn.
This is what is bad for America and yet fundamentalist think it is not. They know that religion must be in charge to make their imaginary God happy and their God won't be satisfied until he gets his blood offerings.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
By "wholecloth" I refer to cloth made up only of one type of fabric. God forbade the mixing of fabrics in Deuteronomy:
Deuteronomy 22:11 (King James Version) Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Job 38:4 (King James Version) Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.
Romans 13:1 (King James Version) Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
Matthew 26:39 (King James Version) And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Could you with your Landover Baptist wisdom explain why your god allowed the first official English translation of the bible to get itself arraigned by that butt fucking homersexual King James rather then Virgin Queen Bess or the highly moral Charles I?
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
I put "God's Will" in quotes. I know it was there will. That's all they have. Thinking we know what "God's Will" is for others is about control and domination and those who think so are deluded. History clearly shows that and so you and you type will repeat history. The Bible and church history show that lesson over and over and over. You know what God's will is. Only you and your church know what the truth is. You need to get America back to God by your defintion or there will be hell to pay, which is the blood offering to an angry God, who somehow is too weak to make these things happen himself. He needs agents both good and evil ones. But how can you tell which is which. If Obama is God's agent, why do you resist?
"The lord can break his own law". If the Holy Spirit told you to murder someone I know you would do it as surely as Abraham was ready to kill Isaac and the host of other murders found in the OT. This is what Islamic suicide bombers do and the like of Jim Jones. And that doesn't wake you up either. Of course that is different, they were not doing God's Will but you are.
Believing in the b.s. is fine, but thinking it is "God's will" for everyone is insane, but alas that is subtle delusion for those on the inside and it is the path of the f*cking "righteous". He who has eyes let him see. I have been on the inside and continue to have and will continue to have Christian friends. I see many of them reaping the destructive harvest in their own lives thinking they have God on their side and they believe it as strongly as you do. Religion is powerful shit and not in a good way.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
You say its the Lord prerogative to break his own law. That sure puts a spin on What Would Jesus Do (wwjd). This God is a bad example for us, he can murder, steal, rob, take a virgin, have his way and give her to another man making her an adulteress and he can do any other conceivable sin and it is not a problem. So his rule is do as I say not as I do. Never looked it at quite like that. Appreciate the thought. We can do these same sins if the Holy Spirit whispers it our ear. Funny how convenient it all is. Loopholes everywhere, justifications everywhere. Followers of God can be as bad as they want and they have a scripture to validate it for them. Shows how weak the Bible is and yet another sign of how it is not divine. This God who is all powerful could make it plain. Yeah, I know the loophole there as well. It is one big logic sieve.
You know the Koran plainly lays out Allah exists from beginning to end and Mohammed is his prophet. You just choose a different book. How fortunate you are right and everyone else is wrong. The KJV1611 may lay out God exists but is has no proof. If anything I am struck how it is a cartoon world with very supernatural things happening all the time and yet today, nada. This God has superpowers like all other super heros. A bunch of OK novels. Humans are very skilled in story telling.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Are you saying Christianity in its true form is evil? At least you are admitting I practice True Christianity, I think. I mean, you are damned either way of course.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Your way of gaining converts for Jesus truly sucks.
-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.
"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken
"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.
The difference between evil and this God is indistinguishable. Isn't that the garb that Satan wears? Showing on the outside that he is an angel of light but actions speak louder than words. His actions are incredibly cruel and arbitrary. The Bible clearly shows he is responsible for this poor design and bad quality control. He claims it as you know. God is love must be a typo. His is a dysfunctional god like many other ancient gods and that is the source of this religion. You align yourself very closely to the insanity found in the Bible. In that sense you are true to it. And coming from a fundamental group I understand you far better than Fonzie.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Billy Bob,
Over on Fonzie's thread you said you haven't sinned since you were a teenager and that included masturbation. I wanted to bring it up here so as not to add anymore to Fonzie's thread which just pisses me off.
Ok.
Do you notice women that are hot or is it just like walking by a guy?
Do you find them attractive? How far do your thoughts go?
You have a wife I assume.
If you want to have sex with her can she refuse? or would that be a sin for her?
If your wife is away for a time period or is quite sick do you get baby batter on the brain? or does your sex drive go away without her?
Is missionary style the only allowable form of sex? If not what is allowed?
Since sex was made for pro-creation are you only allowed to have sex with your wife when she is in heat? ovulating?
Since you are a literalist I assume you don't use the story of Onan who pulled out of his dead brother's wife as a text against masturbation since that was about not letting his brother seed continue. I would expect you to quote from Jesus who says if you even think of having sex with another woman it is adultery. So, would it be a sin to masturbate and think of only of your wife? That would not be adultery since you are married to her.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
I'm glad that you are not seeing eye to eye with that fake Christian "Fonzie". Maybe you have not strayed so far from the path that you are beyond His reach.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
I have been looking around the Landover Baptist website and see you can masturbate if you think about Jesus. Doesn't that sound gay?
What's in bold I highlighted.
Pastor Orders Christian Men to Only Think About Jesus While Masturbating
Freehold, Iowa - The Landover Conference of Deacons last week passed one of the most controversial resolutions of the church's 200-year history. The organization has once again lessened restrictions on self-gratification. All church members know that the controversy on this issue reached a new height last year when Landover lowered the allowable age of masturbation to 65 for recent widowers. The church has revised that policy yet again. "We really had no choice," noted a tired and distraught Pastor Deacon Fred during a news conference held shortly after the decision was reached. "Last month, several middle-aged divorced men challenged the church policy. They claimed that because they can never remarry (since to do so would constitute adultery-Matthew 5:32), and because they cannot have non-marital sex (since fornication ensures eternity in Hell-1 Corinthians 6:9-10), they should at least be allowed to defile their bodies as a consolation. Needless to say, we put very little stock in the words of men who would put their wives away. But they challenged us to find any Bible verse prohibiting masturbation. After 72 hours of searching the Lord's Word, we came up empty-handed, if you'll pardon the expression. We even consulted 17th century Bible scholar, Brother Harry Hardwick, but he, too, could find nothing prohibiting flesh-pulling. Everyone knows that all Landover rules come straight from the Bible. We don't ignore the parts we don't like, as the John 3:16 pseudo-Christians do, nor do we add to the Bible, like those Pope-loving Catholics."
The new policy is not without its limitations, however. "While the Bible does not outlaw masturbation, it severely restricts the circumstances under which it may occur," noted Pastor Deacon Fred. The first restriction is that no Landover gentleman will be permitted to reach the stage of ejaculation. "The Bible is very clear that a man's seed is for copulation only," noted Pastor. "In fact, the Bible says that when Onan chose not to copulate and instead released his seed on the ground, God was so angry that he struck Onan dead (Genesis 38:9-10). The last thing we need is some media scandal as reporters click photos of colored janitors removing corpses from Landover restrooms." Recognizing that a few men may err and sin by not stopping in time, the new policy requires all who decide to participate in the act to register with Pastor Deacon Fred. Specially made Tupperware seed-containers will be signed out of his office by Mrs. Watkins who will be keeping a record to guard against overuse. The sinner must catch his mistake in his numbered container before it reaches the ground. All containers are to be returned to Mrs. Watkins within one hour of check-out. The contents will be collected each week in a larger vat and provided to Mary Lou's Christian Salon where it will be used to treat dry, scaly skin.
The second restriction is that no man will be permitted to have any sexual thoughts during the process. "The apostles told us repeatedly that Jesus forbids lust, since sex is for baby-making, not anxiety release," continued Pastor. "We are to 'abstain from fleshly lusts' (1 Peter 2:11) and 'flee also youthful lusts' (2 Timothy 2:22), for lust 'bringeth forth death' (James 1:15). And more to the point for those debauched divorcees, Matthew told us that 'whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart' (Matthew 5:28). This means that masturbation of an erect organ can occur only if the erection is naturally-induced, such as by the morning sun or an overfilled bladder." Pastor Deacon Fred then concluded, "The only way to masturbate without lust is to keep your mind on Christ at all times."
The new policy instantly drew the ire of countless Landover members. Longstanding church member, Mrs. Judy O'Christian, was incensed. Despite being a woman, Mrs. O'Christian was allowed to speak since the press conference was held outside the chapel. "As co-chairs of the Ladies of Landover Welcoming Committee, Sister Taffy and I have to greet all new church members," she pleaded. "This policy means we will have to destroy our silk gloves every time we shake hands with a male member . . . ah, church member, that is. Halston doesn't sell accessories in six-packs, you know."
Pastor Deacon Fred attempted to assuage the ladies' concerns. "This policy will in no way open the floodgates, so to speak. Punishment for violations of the new restrictions will be swift and certain. The Bible says that if a part of our body offends us, we must cut it off (Matthew 5:29-30). Any man found to have engaged in sexual thoughts during the process, or to have reached full fruition without capturing the full emission, will have his organ severed and his preferred hand amputated. And every man will know that when that happens, his destiny is Hell, for as God told us: "He that is wounded in the stones or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord" (Deuteronomy 23:1). Rest assured, God takes no stock in the Satanic adage: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.".
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Billy Bob, is this a spoof or the real thing?
Baptist Behavior 101 and Fines for Misconduct:
The following violations will result in a monetary fine of no less than $200.00 as to be determined by Church Pastors and Elders: Failure to show up at church on time, Failure to attend a church service without written permission from a pastor or other agreed upon authority, Church parking lot violations, Single males or females caught in the houses of members of the opposite sex without proper supervision, out after curfew, failure to tithe, failure to perform Christian Service obligations, Use of a church key without proper permission, Sleeping and/or horseplay during church services, reading of 'crime oriented' comic books, possession of alcohol outside of Post Communion Party regulations, idol worship, inappropriate dress in town or in church, dress related to 'counter-culture' movement, beards are not allowed except with special permission from Pastor Smith himself, long earrings on women, use of tampons is strictly prohibited, men with earrings or jewelry of any kind, hugging, possession of pornographic material (except for widowed or single men over the age of 65), failure to identify oneself to a church authority, failure to answer a call slip, witchcraft, dancing and/or skipping, association with Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons, Methodists, Unitarians, Episkypols, or any other occult activity (unless under supervision by Dr. J. Edwards), failure to conform to rules and regulations, failure to submit to authority, the questioning of church authority is not tolerated and may result in dismissal, failure to bring at least one new guest to church a week, failure to win at least one soul a week, disrespect, lying, stealing, cheating, plotting, failure to have a demon-possessed infant sterilized, attendance at non-Christian owned picture houses, and rock music. General Rules are subject to change at any time without notice. Members are expected to find out what the new rules are within two hours. Let us note here, 'A Christian who is interested in doing their own thing, will not feel comfortable at Landover.. we would even go as far to question whether or not that individual is a Christian to begin with. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/beliefs.htmlThe masturbation article for my previous post is
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1100/masturbation.html
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
This was on the Fonzie thread and perhaps you missed it because I see you replying to other items. I would prefer to chat about it here anyway.
You are sounding Calvinist. We are all tools.
God just picks and chooses. In other words free will is not true. Only those who come to Jesus are called by the Father. He hardens some hearts and softens others. We are too sinful to come to God of our own accord. So those who burn in hell forever are just tools as well. God is like a kid who plays with toy soldiers, they have no will. Some the kid honors and some he tosses
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Now the Church is under the authority of Harry Hardwick. Pastor Deacon Fred is hiding from a Sin Posse in Canada, and is no longer affiliated with Landover Baptist Church to the best of my knowledge. He recently had a run in with the law, due to a sermon gone awry, when a young man lit his tallywacker in fire. I don't know any more details than that.
It was my understanding that masturbation was considered a homosexual act. I will continue to regard it as such to be on the safe side.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
You're about half right and half wrong here, I think. See, I am only a tool of God because I surrender my will to Him.
Atheists, homosexuals, liberals, and the like, are actually tools of Satan, because they hate God and babies and worship destruction.
God has the power to soften and harden hearts. He only uses this power when it is necessary, such as to free the Joos from the Pharaoh. Ordinarily, it does not appear that God interferes with this sort of thing. If God wanted to send everyone to Hell for any or no reason, he would be perfectly within His rights as Supreme Lord of the Universe. But it just so happens that people send themselves to Hell by ejaculating in God's eye with violent video games, rock music, child molestation, and other evil actions.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Yes, that is one of the first stages of the Stockholm syndrome, positive feelings towards your tormentor.
Please reply to topic #137 above. Perhaps you are pondering an answer but I really want to know your opinion.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
This reminds me of a conversation I was recently having with some of my True Christian Brothers and Sisters over at Landover Baptist, where they were discussing how ridiculous it was that liberals believe faggots are born gay. I interrupted and pointed out that some are, in fact, born gay: those who are born touching themselves!
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
Very refreshing to have the answers straight out. Thanks.
By ovulation I mean the woman's egg has matured and been released from the ovary. It has gone down the fallopian tube and is waiting to be fertilized. One minister I knew would have sex only during that time. Sex is for pro-creation and not pleasure so having it any other time would be not right in his eyes. In the animal kingdom this occurs and the males know the female is ready or in heat. In heat referring to the females body temperature rising. In fact women who want to get pregnant or those wanting to avoid pregnancy (the rhythm method) will take their temperature and work with their mate accordingly. Women also become more interesting in sex during this time.
So, would you only have sex during this time? It last only a day. Once the egg leaves the ovary it only lives 12-24 hours.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
I am skeptical about all this biological theorizing you're doing. I've said it once and I'll say it again: God makes babies. He is the Creator. I understand that you atheists may have a different way of looking at it. But don't expect me to accept this "fallopian tube" theory on faith. I was homeschooled by good Christian parents, and I know everything I need to know about making babies.
The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.
I'd say you were dumber than a box of rocks, but that would be insulting the rocks.
-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.
"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken
"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.
I did see on the Landover Baptist Church they said simply science is stupid. However, they have what they called their own scientist.
What do you think of modern medicine?
Have you ever taken antibiotics or any medicine provided by a schooled doctor? Or if you get sick or your loved ones get sick is the only answer prayer regardless of how bad it gets? Would you absolutely refuse any modern medical care?
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/