The female hunt
Offline This was an advertisement I recently had posted on facebook and other similar type community apps to my friends in my efforts to find an appropriate woman. People seem to laugh at the expense of my honesty so I figured I'd try here.
I'm a single dad, I like getting into arguments, I don't have a car, I don't even drive, I reject all gods and would like you to too, I love technology, I spend a lot of time on my computers, I'm not romantic in the slightest, My kid is better than you, I like to hang out with friends too, I have a very small amount of free time, I'm sarcastic, I'm logical, I procrastinate a lot, I can be a total ass when I'm angry, I have an insane fear of heights, I flirt with random women and don't realize it, I talk a lot about myself, I like my meat and potatoes, I'm overweight and out of shape, I enjoy video games, I snore like a mofo, I'm not creative, I don't understand a lot of art, I don't get a lot of poetry, I rationalize emotions, I turn off my emotions when I'm upset, I am bad at cleaning, I'm always behind on my laundry, and if I'm staying in for the day sometimes I don't shower.
Is there any chance you're interested?
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That would be terrific for the 5 people here who "get it".
I didn't understand why the Blades didn't do better here because they were pretty good. Too, they were IHL so it was a little bit like the old days when things were a little bit rougher. (OK. I admit it. I loved it when the benches emptied, the gloves hit the ice and there was a riot on the ice.)
Pro tennis didn't do too well here either. They brought in some of the really big names, too. The crowds were small and the only fault I saw was the ticket price was high for something that hadn't caught on yet.
Alas, here in Kansas City, it's all Chiefs for some reason.
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Well, the NHL powers that be have never been accused of being particularly intelligent. They are having a problem with moving the Nashville Predators to Canada where the new owner wants to relocate them, yet they have no problem with KC and even Las Vegas... go figure.
Pro tennis would be a tough one. I can't see it doing well here in VanCan either. Rowing would probably go over well here, but not tennis.
(tongue firmly planted in cheek) Hey, football and jeeezus are number one in my book... followed closely by Coors Lite
Which makes me ponder the question, do those Meg-churches, with the shopping and all that, have the football games on in the sports bar and sell beer in the convenience store? Along with guns? 'cause you know it's a god given right to be able to buy whatever the hell you want.
There are two seasons in Canada, Hockey season and not-Hockey season.
Canada: 16% Atheist and growing.
You laugh, but when I was in church choir in KC, we sang at the 8:45 sermon during football season and the 11:00 the rest of the year. Seems the 11:00 one was a bit empty from Sept. to Jan...
"When you hit your thumb with a hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a special kind of atheist to jump up and down shout, 'Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!'"-Terry Pratchett
I think it's great that god is that flexible. Sure it wants you to worship it and pray to it...but good that it's understanding enough to not get upset when there's football on...afterall it is just a god of the gaps...it can appreciating waiting until the gap of time around football games.
*snicker* It was a rich, white church in rich, white Prairie Village. They were not there to worship, they were there to be seen. Maybe pray for a raise so they could upgrade their season tickets.
"When you hit your thumb with a hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a special kind of atheist to jump up and down shout, 'Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!'"-Terry Pratchett
OHhhh Lordy Lordy...do not waste time on the truely poor...my limo driver smells like tide...bless him the power to use gain laundry soap so that i do not have to fire his insufficient ass
Well, at least it wasn't in Leawood.
You're right about the "they were there to be seen" stuff, too. So much around here is all about appearances. *sigh*
Now, if we could just get those folks to a rootin' tootin' hockey game where the benches empty, there's blood on the ice and half the crowd is suggesting that the line official's parents were genetically identical.
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Somehow hockey in Las Vegas just seems wrong, doesn't it?
Thanks for the offer, but I don't think that a shared love of brawls on the ice is a solid basis for a good marriage. Now, if you tell me you remember black & white TV and love critters, we'll talk!
Oddly, the Davis Cup Semi-Finals were here in 1991 and Kemper Arena was sold out for 3 solid days at about $180 a pop. (Yes, I broke in the Visa card and went. It was pretty fantastic, too. Agassi was amazing that weekend.)
You got that right, pardner. Just don't fergit the bar-b-que.
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a) I remember black & white TV...and am appreciative of my technology.
b) I love hockey.
c) Critters are a good thing...as long as I don't have to clean their poop. Poop is not a good thing.
d) Tennis is also good...though I admit I haven't watched it much since the Agassi vs Sampras in their prime days. I was a big Sampras fan.
I remember it all too well. I still have a little b&w in my guest room. For some reason, my guests laugh at it and back away. They're so silly, it has no remote control so they have to be close to change the channels!
I do, too, but only in person.
Actually, most poop is a good thing. When there is no poop, kitty is not well and can cost an amazing amount of money to get un-stuck.
I do, too, but only in person.
Sports of any kind are not welcome on my black & white or my color TV.
The cable company was a bit baffled when I attempted to get ESPN removed from my basic cable package just prior to the last time I hosted a family holiday dinner. Silly me. I thought it might be nice to have a conversation instead of everyone turning into a vegetable in front of the TV.
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Ugh, I hate that. I very much prefer no TV in my living room at all and having a seperate TV room that I try to avoid while guests are over. Even if it's freakin' blues clues people will still watch it. I hate TV for that. But I like my hockey too. No B&W in my house. It would be embarassing to live off technology for my entire career and then have something like that in my house =P
Besides, I love Planet Earth and the nature type shows in HD. Ooo and hockey. Hockey looks great in HD.
BTW - I love coming to the forum and seeing "Susan" beside every post on the forum =P It's very obvious when you've been online.
Damn, turned back.
B&W tv. Yep, I remember that. I also had to explain to my niece and nephew what records are.
Critters. Indeed. Especially dogs... like this wee lass
Hockey is really the only sport I'll watch on tv. Like Tarpan said, hockey and HD go hand in hand! It's like being at the game without the locker room scent. Though the locker room scent does add to the experience. I can't wait until they come out with smell-o-vision.
Ditto on the tv thing. If there are guests over, it's off. Conversation is preferable to vegetation. Or a good board game to get everone going.
So it's interesting to note that there are churches that plan services around football schedules. I'd be willing to bet that these most pious individuals are the ones screaming the loudest against gay marriage, abortion rights and a slew of other "issues" that their church will latch on to.
There are two seasons in Canada, Hockey season and not-Hockey season.
Canada: 16% Atheist and growing.
Probably like the fascination we had with a Victrola.
In the not so distant future, we'll have to explain why we say "dial the phone" because some people have never seen a rotary dial phone.
Heck, I grew up with "Number Please" when you picked up the handset.
Aaawwwwwww. What a face! What's her name?
I'll pass on that experience. Heck, I'm still taken aback by surround sound. Sorry. When you're watching a movie, the sounds shouldn't come from behind you!
Right here in the middle of the bible belt, all those holier-than-thou folks that fuss about all the things you mentioned are the same folks that diefied Derek Thomas when he passed away. He fathered how many children out of wedlock?
You say he was speeding on ice covered highways? You say he wasn't wearing his seat belt? (If I'm not mistaken, his family sued the auto maker.)
Yup. That's sure a role model to use in church.
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Hey, I got it for $10 at a garage sale. It works just dandy with the rabbit ears (how many kids know what rabbit ears are?) and I'll bet it outlasts my color TV.
Aw, thanks. I wish I had more time to spend on the forums. I'm still behind on reading all the posts after Nightline.
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We had a party line. Remember those? You shared your phone line with the neighbours up and down the street.
Also, I think my mom showed the kids one of the old rotary phones in the attic.
Her name is Astrid and she's a real sweetheart.
Part of the experience of going to a game is the full afront to the senses. The grease from the burger stands, the stale beer, the slight icy scent, and, of course, the sweat. Plus there's the sounds of the crushing bodychecks against the boards, the overwhelming noise of the crowd, the feel of the hard seats on your butt, and the sticky beer soak floors. It's all of it. Once tv can do that, people will stop going to games. Surround sound is a great part of watching the game at home
Ugh! The hypocrisy just astounds me. Do these people actually think before they elevate others to some rediculous status? I suppose not. If they did, they'd see the folly of what they were about to do. These unthinking people are such a danger to society. They raise a whole generation to not think, to impose their faith on others, and to use it to project a dark international presence. Sick.
There are two seasons in Canada, Hockey season and not-Hockey season.
Canada: 16% Atheist and growing.
I went away from the forums for awhile...real life hit me pretty hard...but for the record...
This gem hasn't worked out too well yet. Too many people took it as a sign of self-depression and I got lots of recommendations about what to do about it.
Oi.
Welcome back, Tarpan!
If god takes life he's an indian giver
LMAO.......... Both of you .. Stop it your giving me nightmares
Wow. I like your honesty. I think however I am already married to you, is your name Tracy? However, he does laundry BUT he asks me to shave his back hair....you don't have that on your list.
-Renee
Slowly building a blog at ~
http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/
I am perfectly content with the hair patches on my back.
Hey, this self-mocking singles advertising looks pretty fun. Here goes...
My singles ad:
I'm 21, a student at Lancaster University, North West England. I'm a pretentious, self-obsessed prick who fluxuates between self-love and self-hate but never in between. I'm a socialist and an atheist and would find it hard to go out with anyone who isn't both of those. I haven't had a relationship in over a year, and haven't had a long term one in over 2 years! I'm lanky, skinny but at the same times have terrible man-boobs. I don't have a car or a driver's license. I'm moving back in with my parents in June. My feet smell quite terrible. I have crooked teeth.
Looking for a geeky woman (I'm a huge geek fetishist), fairly attractive, who'll be able to put up with me but also put me in my place. Minimum IQ: 100. Must enjoy philosophy, science, music, politics, and watching the news. Not too fat (although a bit of extra flesh is actually a turn on). Minimum age: 16 (which is legal here!!). Maximum age: 35.
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