Star Wars is a historical narrative. I'm absolutely certain of it. It's just that it happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

Look at the evidence! The characters were just way too creative and orginal to be made-up! I mean... 'Yoda'? 'Luke Skywalker'? Who could just come-up with names like that? Plus, I mean, look at the films! Lucas filmed them in an almost documentary-esque story!

Besides, we know the universe is big, and galaxies really are very distant from each other. And we also know it's really old. So there!

What evidence do you have that the events of Star Wars did not happen a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? Yeah. That's what I thought.

STFU.

How do you know that God is all-knowing? I know, I know - because the Bible says so.

Take this scenario:

God A exists, truly omnipotent and omniscient.

God A decides to create God B.

God A hides from God B right from the start, but leaves God B with the impression that he is the only and true god, and that he is omniscient and omnipotent, but in fact he is not.

How do you know your god is not a God B?

Therefore, noone, including God, can ever be sure to be perfect and omnipotent and -scient, yet your god has claimed to be so, and this is certainly an imperfection (whether or not he is actually the only true god, and also omnipotent and omniscient).

It sucks having TEPOMSU (the explanatory power of making stuff up) turned against you, doesn't it? 

The most coherent* Xtian blog that purportedly 'disproves atheism' that I've seen yet:  http://blog.myspace.com/julies_ian

I assume (based on the guy's profile pic) that this Ian dude has already butted heads with people on here before, so I apologize in advance to those of you who may have already dealt with him.  Since I really don't have the time to spend every waking moment of my life on this forum or on MySpace (searching back-entries and reading every last word of his entire blog, respectively), I humbly beseech you, oh great and powerful RRS Archons, would you please direct me (and anyone else who happens along this thread) to specific counter-arguments to Ian's (seeming) loophole-inventions?

*internally - that is, according to the stretched and twisted illogic of apologists.

Suppose that God exists and that he's all powerful...

If this is true then there ia no "how" or "why" as to why does certain things as he could cause the effect without having to take action (in other words the laws of causality dont apply to him)

So first of all, why would he "do"anything? (as in take action such as the global flood when he could just cause the effects)

Also by answering this question you are admitting that the rules of causally do apply to him and therefore cannot be omnipotent

Is there a name for this type of logic I just mentioned?

The Tomb
by
Matt Giwer

Another in the continuing tales from the Bible as they really happened.

---

Mother of James: Mary, who is going to move that huge stone for us.

Mary: Didn't think of that. All these spices, all this annointing ... I don't know where my head was.

Salome: Fear not for I have brought silver and gold with which to bribe the guards at the tomb.

MOJ & Mary: Guards!

Salome: Know ye not there are guards on the tomb?

 

MOJ: No one told me about this. I'm going back. I'm not going to get stuck by any bloody Roman.

Mary: Patience, Mother of James. Salome, what kind of guards are these.

Salome: Very fierce, the finest in the world. They are charged with guarding the preventing the theft of your son's body under pain of death. They will kill anyone approaching his tomb.

MOJ: That'e enough for me. Annoiting isn't all that much fun any way. It certainly isn't worth being skewered by a Roman, with a weapon, well, that kind of weapon, at least not for free.

Mary: Take heart, nameless Mother of James, perhaps Salome has the answer. Salome, do you think you have brought enough gold and silver?

And the people came to speak against Yahweh and Moses saying, "Why did you bring us out of Egypt to die and the desert? For there is neither food nor water here and this Manna Ready to Eat isn't fit for an Arab."

At this Yahweh sent firey serpents among the people and their bite brought death to many in Israel. And the people came to Moses and begged, "Intercede for us with Yahweh to save us from these serpents."

And Moses interceded and Yahweh spoke, "Nothing doing. The snake bites continue until morale improves."

Considerata

---

Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in the bar on the corner.

As far as possible, without paying too much interest be on good credit terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the celebrities and TV personalities for they too have their story.

Avoid loud and agressive brokers for they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others you will become happy for always there will be lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your investments as well as your strategies. Keep interested in your own portfolio, however humble it may be, it is your only real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery but let this not blind you to what virtue there is. Many persons strive for high ideals and and verywhere life is full of heroism. Consult the TV listings for your local schedule.

Be Yourself.

Especially do not feign investment interest. Neither be cynical about PE ratios for in the face of all the bears and disenchantments, profits are as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth, save till you are old enough or rich enough to be excused for being a goat again.

Ten Commandments Temple Tour

Guide: And here we have the Ark of the Covenant. Are there any questions?

Tourist: What are those things on the top?

Guide: Those my dear lady are seraphim.

Tourist: What are seraphim?

Guide: They are the winged protectors of the Ark of the Covenant.

Tourist: You mean like budgies?

Guide: Not budgies, madam, they are powerful winged protectors of the ark.

Tourist: They look like budgies. You can even see their little beaks.

Guide: Madam, those are muzzles. Were it not for the muzzles we could not get this close. They would be ripping us to shreds at this very moment.

Tourist: Look sort of cute to me.

Guide: They are not cute. They are vicious, fearsome protectors of the Ark.

Tourist: Are you sure this is the right Ark?

Guide: Yes, I am certain. Now if you will all follow me, this next exhibit is the actual stone tablets of the ten commandments. This commandments were carved by the hand of YHWH himself.

Tourist: Old unspeakable has chisel fingers I see.

Guide: His fingers are perfect, madam. He does not have chisel fingers.

Tourist: Then what are these chisel marks doing here?

Guide: Those are not chisel marks. They are part of the natural stone formation.

Tourist: Are not. They're just like on my late husbands gravestone.

Guide: Are not.

Tourist: Are too.

Guide: Are not.

Tourist: Liar! Take a look.

The Dead Messiah

modified by Matt Giwer

Customer: You sold me a dead Messiah.

Shopkeeper: They are all dead for some time or other I suppose.

Customer: It has been more than three days.

Shopkeeper: Maybe this one is a late resurrecter.

Customer: It has been two bloody months!

Shopkeeper: "No man knoweth the hour ... "

Customer: Don't give me that Sunday School garbage, this Messiah is dead and he is not coming back.

Shopkeeper: "Ye of little faith ..."

Customer: Stop that! Look. It's not in a grave. It not moving. No angels hovering. It is dead, dead, dead.

Shopkeeper: Is not. I'll show you. (whispers, "they're out of wine&quot See? It moved.

Customer: Did not. You nudged its cross.

Shopkeeper: Did not.

Customer: It's dead! You can see right here where you've nailed it to its cross.

Shopkeeper: Messiahs are SUPPOSED to be nailed to their crosses.

Customer: I'll prove its dead. (grabs up the cross and bangs it face down on the counter) Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!

Shopkeeper: After all it has been through before getting on the cross that's a dawdle.

Customer: It's dead I tell you.

Shopkeeper: I give up. I want a satisfied customer. I'll trade you for this very lovely Galilean messiah.

Customer: I've never heard of that breed. Are you sure it's a real messiah?

NOTHING!!!!! Could oppose God's will!!!!! -- Bill Hicks on Satan.

Well, theists? I think a good question has been asked...